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2216mom

Domestic Adoption with a larger family?

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Hello!

I live in NC and have known about Abrazo for MANY years - at least 10 years!

We adopted an 8yo boy from foster care, and he is now almost 18 and plans to enter the military sometime next year. It has been a long road with him - he has fetal alcohol exposure and attachment disorder, but I think he will be ready to leave the nest soon.

We have a wonderful 5 yo daughter, adopted as a newborn through an agency here in NC. She is a fully open adoption. We have a sweet 3.5 year old daughter from China as well, that we received when she was 11 months old.

As much as we would like to adopt from China again, it saddens me that our daughter from China will never have the connection to her birthfamily that my other daughter will have. For that reason, we are considering domestic adoption again. I really think the costs will be about the same. I am 40 years old, with documented infertility, and my husband is 42 years old. I know Abrazo is a wonderful agency - I have been "watching" them for many years, and I know we would be in good hands if we decided to apply with them. I am worried that our family size may be consided "large" by some agencies. Ironically, the agency I used with my daugthers is a Catholic Agency, and they consider us to be a "large" family! We are traditional Roman Catholic, and homeschool as well. I am a stay-at-home mother. This may be an issue for some birthmoms. Maybe not.

My daughters, who look so different, are inseparable. The do EVERYTHING together. They sleep in the same room, go to the bathroom together, and never play without the other. It is so rewarding to see their love for each other, a love that will remain (I pray) long after my husband and I are gone. It is my hope that someday a BP will see that great love that we have for our children, and the love that they have for each other, and want her child to be a part of our family. I read somewhere that a child told his parents that "brothers and sisters are friends that never have to go home". When I see my girls play, I realize how true that statement is. (Then a quarrel breaks out and the moment is lost!)

Would love to hear from others who have adopted using Abrazo for child #3 or more. As yet, I have been unable to get my husband to agree to adopting an AA child, so it would be Cauc/Hispanic for us.

We would also consider toddlers and preschoolers.

Blessings,

Cameon in NC

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Welcome Cameon!!!

I hope you find some answers to your questions. There is lots of information on this forum, so please help yourself to feel right at home.

Karen

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Hi Cameon! I am in the process of adopting our third child through Abrazo. You can read about our journey under Joyous Journeys, Shawn and Heather. You sound like a very dedicated mom. I don't know about your questions but as you know you can talk to the Abrazo ladies.

We hope you will post often!

Heather :)

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Would love to hear from others who have adopted using Abrazo for child #3 or more. As yet, I have been unable to get my husband to agree to adopting an AA child, so it would be Cauc/Hispanic for us.

We would also consider toddlers and preschoolers.

Blessings,

Cameon in NC

Cameron,

We are fairly new to ABRAZO, but from what I've read on the forum, you will find company out here. I'm sure a personal call to one of the Abrazochicks could also answer some of your questions. Best wishes. . .

Cathy

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I am pretty sure I called and talked to (Renee?) a good six months ago, but I just can't seem to find my notes. Yes, I will be sure to talk to someone at Abrazo again and get my specific questions answered. I was just curious if there were some "three timers" here on the forum, and if the wait is longer/more difficult than previous ( I assume that it is, but if you are anything like me, you are busy busy busy....)

Cameon in NC

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. . .but if you are anything like me, you are busy busy busy....)

Cameon in NC

Cameon,

I doubt that I'm as busy as you with three :) Unfortunately, we don't have number one yet so I'm not much assistance in being able to relate to your questions. I'm sure you'll be able to get them answered either here on the forum or by talking to someone. Hopefully you'll have all of your questions answered soon. Good luck!

Cathy

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Although not official yet. . .we have been toying with idea of #3. ;)

Edited by dnr1021

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Heather and Shawn are with Holy Flying Fish are waiting for #3 and I think HisGrace just adopted #5

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I am pretty sure I called and talked to (Renee?) a good six months ago, but I just can't seem to find my notes. Yes, I will be sure to talk to someone at Abrazo again and get my specific questions answered. I was just curious if there were some "three timers" here on the forum, and if the wait is longer/more difficult than previous ( I assume that it is, but if you are anything like me, you are busy busy busy....)

Cameon in NC

Welcome, Cameon! Gee, I can't imagine you would be turned away for being too large a family. I have been on a few forums and have met more than a few families much larger than yours! I guess that would depend on an approved homestudy. We are waiting to be matched for our #3. The birthmoms we have spoken too felt strongly that they wanted their baby to have siblings already in the household. And some want their baby to be the first-born. I know Abrazo accepts applications for orientations based on such needs including gender and racial preference as well. I have confidence we are well on our way to meeting our third child!

All our best to you,

Hope in MO

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Would love to hear from others who have adopted using Abrazo for child #3 or more. As yet, I have been unable to get my husband to agree to adopting an AA child, so it would be Cauc/Hispanic for us.

We would also consider toddlers and preschoolers.

Blessings,

Cameon in NC

Cameon,

We are the proud parents of three boys. Our first two are bio twins and our third is an almost 2 year old Abrazo babe! Since he was the only child we have adopted I really do not have much to compare to. I can tell that from the time we sent in our inquiry and until we brought him home was 9 months. We were the last of our group to place but we had a five month match with our son's birthmother. I do not feel that our situation was very different from anyone else in group just because we were already parenting. It was just a matter of time and patience waiting until the "right" match came along. Talk with Abrazo and they can give you all the details. Best of luck!

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Cameon,

I am the proud momma of three adopted children- ages 6, 4, and 9 months. We used different agencies with all three of our children. Our youngest, Olivia, is an Abrazo babe.

In regards to your question about domestic adoption with "larger" families, I don't persnally think that family size should impact your being chosen by a birthmother. Some birthmothers may like their child to be the first in the adoptive family, but some may prefer the experience that a "seasoned" parent may have. Some birthmothers may like the fact that their unborn baby would have an older brother and two big sisters at home. You never know what about you/your family may appeal to a birthmother. My advice to you is follow your heart. If you feel that someone is missing from your family, the time is now to fulfill your dream of child #4. If it is in God's master plan, it will happen.

Good luck!

Tamra

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