La Promesa: Special Needs Adoptions

[Jada]

Some insurance companies may not cover a child or maybe an adoptive family does not have the money to pay for medical bills of a special needs child. If you give birth to a child with special needs you have no choice(except for adoption etc...) but to take on any problems and bills that you may have. Adoption is different. I can totally understand a couple turning down a child if they do not believe they can handle the time, stress and money that some of these children need. I think this is a good way of insuring that children go to the home that they are truly meant to be with. If adoptive families had no choice some children and adoptive families may not be so happy and some children may end up suffering in the end.

[Steven&Melissa]

how you would respond if you gave birth to a child with the same ailment, and further explore whether your ability to "handle it" might differ-- and why?

This question is one of the reasons reading the forum is beneficial to me during the stage of our adoption journey that we're in right now. To be honest, my initial response is different than my response after thinking about this question. I knew there were things we were open to in terms of alcohol, drugs, and minor challenges, but when I think about this question, those things almost seem like I've been asked "what is your preference?" or "what is optimal?" in an adoptive situation, not what could we "handle."

It's a tough question all-around to know how anyone might handle the situation if presented with it... because most times in life, what we think we want most definitely isn't always what God urges our heart to do.

[dbugsma]

how you would respond if you gave birth to a child with the same ailment, and further explore whether your ability to "handle it" might differ-- and why?

This question is one of the reasons reading the forum is beneficial to me during the stage of our adoption journey that we're in right now. To be honest, my initial response is different than my response after thinking about this question. I knew there were things we were open to in terms of alcohol, drugs, and minor challenges, but when I think about this question, those things almost seem like I've been asked "what is your preference?" or "what is optimal?" in an adoptive situation, not what could we "handle."

It's a tough question all-around to know how anyone might handle the situation if presented with it... because most times in life, what we think we want most definitely isn't always what God urges our heart to do.

When we began our adoption quest 10+ yrs ago, Tim & I were comfortable w/ most all situations we were presented. Granted we didn't have to 'turn down' any situations, but we talked about the potenial cases we wouldn't be able to handle. We talked about how we would handle situations if we were to 'birth' a child w/ problems as well.....medical problems only.

Fastforward to our second adoption, no issues at birth....Hayden was almost 2 when his special needs presented. From the time Hayden was 18 months old until 27 months old he was diagnosed as speech delayed/non-verbal, sensory processing disorder, epilepsy & autism. Hayden is now 4 1/2--still non-verbal, autistic, epiletic, & has sensory issues....our lives/world pretty much revolve around Hayden & his needs daily.

We give our all to Hayden (& Shayla, too)....would we change how we do things no. Hayden's special needs emerged he wasn't born w/ them, so prehaps that has something to do w/ the way we look at how we handle our son's special needs. Our faith has carried us, taught us more than you can ever image & while there are days that we are frustrated b/c others don't get our situation, we take the glass half full approach & keep going.

Hayden is our son, our whole son, he may have special needs.....but even if we had born a child, that might have had needs as well.....would we love them any less, no.

Hope that helps. Just my 2 cents.

xoxo, Amy