Jump to content
ElizabethAnn

Why I Love My Child's Birthparents

Recommended Posts

BP's don't get enough respect in my opinion: they chose life and they chose us...

This quote appeared elsewhere on the Forum. Written by a proud mom-by-adoption, I found it brilliant in its simplicity and thought it might inspired others who've "been there, done that" to share their feelings about what their children's firstfamilies mean to them after adoption, so those who are new to those process and still feeling apprehensive about openness can better understand its sweetest gifts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh boy! I feel like I can come back to this topic time and time again! I was reading the posts where that quote came from and had so much too say I couldn't say anything.

This could also be a great place to talk about "Chapter One" and it's importance to our children we love so much and I think Chapter One is also particularly important to those birthparents we love so much as well, and who loved our children first and loved them enough to trust us with them.

I am often so overwhelmed by how I feel for Clara's birthparents that I can't put it into words and that is again where I find myself right now.

Thanks for starting this Elizabeth. Maybe I'll get to a place where I can be more eloquent and can share my thoughts.

Either that or I'll just come back here and ramble from time to time........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why I love my children's birthparents:

Because they created three of the most wonderful human beings I know;

Because they had the strength of character to put the girls' needs above their own desires;

Because in the time the girls actually lived with them, they instilled in them an amazing ability to love and be loved;

Because they see the value of staying in our children's lives;

Because they are willing to help us do a better job of raising our children by sharing information;

Because I love my children with everything in my being, and everytime I look at them I see a little piece of our birthparents too!

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, Elizabeth, that is one tough assignment!! And perfect timing too. I just spoke with Briton's birthmother yesterday and after our conversation I could only praise God for this wonderful woman he brought into our lives. I can't say too much about her and yet I don't even feel my words will relay our true feelings properly. She is one of the most amazing people I know. As Linda pointed out, not only did she choose Life for Briton even when her situation could have led to the end of her marriage and the breakup of her family, but she has been the most open and selfless indidvidual I have ever met. From day one she has only wanted what is best for Briton even when she knew how difficult it would be to place her in another woman's arms. And yet, she did. No amount of pain could stop her from doing what she thought was right for her little girl, and to me the courage and strength that took is phenomenal, I honestly don't know if I would be strong enougth to make that decision.

But there is more to this woman that just that one awesome act. She is raising 4 kids, basically all on her own, while her husband is fighting for this great nation of ours in Iraq. She doesn't have any family near her and yet she runs a house, nutures her children and never forgets holiday's, birthday's or special occassions.

In a nutshell, we love this woman. Not only for the wonderful gift that she has given us, but for her strength, compassion and love. God knew what he was doing when he made us infertile, if he hadn't we would have been the sorrier for never having known this woman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Grace Ann's birthparents because....

they have been so willing to be part of her life.

they help us to be better parents.

they are our family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because they are wonderful people

Because they had strength and courage to make a painful, life-altering decision

Because they had faith in us--and took a chance that we would be the parents they wanted for their son

Because they continue to stay a part of our lives

Because from them came the most wonderful, smart, funny, caring, kind, and handsome little boy who has made our lives richer and sweeter than we ever thought possible

The list could go on and on...Like Andrea said, I'm sure I'll keep coming back to this topic!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary to describe our feelings regarding Payton's birthmom. We are forever grateful for the sacrifices she made to make our dreams a reality. She is a strong, courageous, thoughtful and beautiful woman to say the least. Like Andrea, I struggle with words because I have such strong feelings on this subject. When I start to type, I get all jumbled up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel kind of lazy just saying I repeat what everyone else has said, but it truly is how I feel (especially FeelingBlessed remarks, because we have similar situations in that we adopted sibling groups).

I will come back to this topic, but I do echo the sentiments already said so eloquently by others who have already posted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BP's don't get enough respect in my opinion: they chose life and they chose us...

This quote appeared elsewhere on the Forum. Written by a proud mom-by-adoption, I found it brilliant in its simplicity and thought it might inspired others who've "been there, done that" to share their feelings about what their children's firstfamilies mean to them after adoption, so those who are new to those process and still feeling apprehensive about openness can better understand its sweetest gifts.

Living open adoption, can I do it? Yes, you can (I hope).

Although it can be a scary thought or feeling right now, before and after placement, because it's such a powerful connection to your child... and to deny that connection from yourself (as your child's birth parents or chosen parents) is to deny the beautiful reality of your child's adoption, which we all know is a lifelong commitment on everyone's part. Your child's adoption is sacred and so are you! Thanks for making adoption REAL, your loving decisions is what makes our families possible, we never ever forget that... even though unfortunately hard decisions come with heart pains (open or not). :(

Together (maybe) we can ease the burden of each others' pain (at least we can try), allowing ourselves to cry when we feel sad, allowing ourselves to smile and laugh when we are joyful. There is a time for plenty of both. Together we are meeting the needs of our child (and ourselves), the precious one we both love so much. You do not have to carry the burden of your decision (to place) alone, you can turn around what is/was once a painful decision, to one that is filled with overflowing pride (in time), giving you a million reasons to keep in touch.

Our child's birthparents are one of a kind, there is no one like them, nor is there anyone that can replace them, they are a part of our child. I love them for that! They continue to be a part of our child's life as little or as often as is possible for them, depending on how life is going. We understand. And I know in my heart they are doing their best, and that's good enough for us. :)

Karen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Why I love my children's birthparents:

Because they created three of the most wonderful human beings I know;

Because they had the strength of character to put the girls' needs above their own desires;

Because in the time the girls actually lived with them, they instilled in them an amazing ability to love and be loved;

Because they see the value of staying in our children's lives;

Because they are willing to help us do a better job of raising our children by sharing information;

Because I love my children with everything in my being, and everytime I look at them I see a little piece of our birthparents too!

:D

Awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Dante's Birthparent's for many reasons:

I love them as people... we connect on a higher level than just people who have things in common. We connect as friends.

I love them for placing their child's needs first... for wanting him to have more opportunity. I truly love Stephanie for knowing her childhood and life and knowing that she wanted more for Dante.

I love them for loving us, all of us.

I love them because they have taken the time to get to know each one of us.

I love them because they created a child we could have never created in our wildest dreams!

I love them because they taught us to open our minds to embracing new cultures in our home. They taught us something they may not even be aware of. They taught us that culture will not separate us, no matter what.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Colby's birthparents for...

Creating the most wonderful little boy

For putting Colby's needs before all of their hopes and dreams

I love Colby's birthmother for...

Being my friend

Being another loving constant person in Colby's life

Providing some answers to the missing links that Colby might have in the future

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love that Makayla and Angel's birthmom chose life for the girls. I love that K gets excited to get updates on the children. I love K's smile and funny laugh. K is a part of our family. She is a part of our life. We are forever connected by the precious children we love dearly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Nathan's birthmom even though I've never met or spoken to her.

I love her because she chose not to end his life.

I love her because she chose to deliver him in a hospital with a social worker who cared.

I love her because she wished for him a mom who would "love him like her own."

I love her because she gave him intelligence and a sassy sense of humor.

I love her because she gave him the opportunity to live and become something special.

I love her because she gave him his dimples and his cleft chin.

I love her because I love her son.

I love her because without her we wouldn't be family. And that "we" includes her even if she's never seen or never heard. We are family and we love one another.

May God bless "M", Nathan's birthmom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Bailey's birthmom for many of the reasons mentioned above...

- giving her a chance at life

- delivering her in a hospital with a social worker that cared

- choosing us

- loving her.

But mostly, we choose to just love her - not for any particular "reason".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×