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ElizabethAnn

Just Because You're Adopting Doesn't Mean You're Not Expecting!

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We never used paper pregnant but we did say that we started our adoption journey.

Paper pregnant does not bother me but someone I know said it bothered them...Because adoptive parents have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant. When she said that, it felt like a slap in the face.

Some people are just jerks.

Ughhhhhhh JERKS!

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We never used paper pregnant but we did say that we started our adoption journey.

Paper pregnant does not bother me but someone I know said it bothered them...Because adoptive parents have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant. When she said that, it felt like a slap in the face.

Some people are just jerks.

I have heard this myself. As we all know that MOST PEOPLE who have not built their family through adoption have no idea what it has been like to build our families, physically (infertility) and emotionally. Sometimes it is worth explaining and other times it is not.

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This person was not worth explaining it to. When we were placed with Alexander she also made a point of telling one of our friends that it was not fair that I did not gain weight and go through labor.

Yep, Jerk.

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This person was not worth explaining it to. When we were placed with Alexander she also made a point of telling one of our friends that it was not fair that I did not gain wait and go through labor.

Yep, Jerk.

Ugh, that's my least favorite. Even some of my more sensitive friends have said things like "well, at least you didn't gain 40lbs!" or "at least you didn't have to experience labor!" I usually respond with "Yep - but I gained 60lbs after fertility drugs and three painful open-abdominal surgeries, including a hysterectomy!" I ALWAYS follow it up by saying that we all get the final end result - a child who God intended for our family.

I'll never forget the best thing that came out of our failed match. That expectant mom said to me that she believed God "blesses" some people with infertility. He finds the people who have the kindest hearts to travel that road. Some people are suited for it and some people are not. It takes a strong, caring person to walk through open adoption (on both the birth and adoptive side). You can either look at it as a curse or blessing and of course we all look at our children as blessings, but I tend to look at my infertility that way, too. Being strong and caring is something I'm thankful God gave me instead of working ovaries!

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This person was not worth explaining it to. When we were placed with Alexander she also made a point of telling one of our friends that it was not fair that I did not gain wait and go through labor.

Yep, Jerk.

I had a person tell me "Oh, you're taking the easy way" when I told her of our plans to adopt. Since she obviously had no clue what we had been through physically, emotionally or financially while undergoing fertility treatments, I just bit my tongue, smiled and said "well bless your heart" (which is Southern for, jerk or any other term a nice Southern lady doesn't said out loud). ;);)

Lisa

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I just bit my tongue, smiled and said "well bless your heart" (which is Southern for, jerk or any other term a nice Southern lady doesn't said out loud). ;);)

LOL... it certainly is!! Well, bless your sweet ignorant heart. :lol:

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I just bit my tongue, smiled and said "well bless your heart" (which is Southern for, jerk or any other term a nice Southern lady doesn't said out loud). ;);)

LOL... it certainly is!! Well, bless your sweet ignorant heart. :lol:

Funny!

I find myself saying that a lot lately!

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Lisa,

Yes, that is a good one. I must use that the next time.

Leah

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This person was not worth explaining it to. When we were placed with Alexander she also made a point of telling one of our friends that it was not fair that I did not gain wait and go through labor.

Yep, Jerk.

I had a person tell me "Oh, you're taking the easy way" when I told her of our plans to adopt. Since she obviously had no clue what we had been through physically, emotionally or financially while undergoing fertility treatments, I just bit my tongue, smiled and said "well bless your heart" (which is Southern for, jerk or any other term a nice Southern lady doesn't said out loud). ;);)

Lisa

The people who say things like that are SO CLUELESS. I wouold just say "I can see how you might think that, but you have no idea how difficult adoption can be. Many people can have kids, but you must be QUALIFIED to adopt."

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I've had people tell me the same thing: Must be nice to not have gained any pregnancy weight or to go through labor pain. When in reality our path to parenthood was anything but easy but I wouldn't change the outcome for anything in the world!

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I'll never forget the best thing that came out of our failed match. That expectant mom said to me that she believed God "blesses" some people with infertility. He finds the people who have the kindest hearts to travel that road. Some people are suited for it and some people are not. It takes a strong, caring person to walk through open adoption (on both the birth and adoptive side). You can either look at it as a curse or blessing and of course we all look at our children as blessings, but I tend to look at my infertility that way, too. Being strong and caring is something I'm thankful God gave me instead of working ovaries!

Melissa - I love that! That is so nice of her to say and so nice to hear. I agree with you I'm glad God made me strong and caring rather than giving me fertility :) I do look at it as a blessing because without infertility I wouldn't have Caleb and just the thought of him not being in our lives makes me tear up. I don't even regret all the IVFs we did...because they led us to him.

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Just wanted to bump this topic up for some of our newbies who have perhaps not discovered all the glorious Forum topics past page one of this section...! ;)

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