Just Because You're Adopting Doesn't Mean You're Not Expecting!

[ElizabethAnn 689]

One of the things we emphasize at orientation is the fact that whether you become a parent by adoption or by birth, you still need to go through an emotional transition time of "pregnancy."

When you plan to adopt a child through Abrazo, you, too, get to:

* tell people you're expecting!

* take Lamaze and parenting classes

* rediscover the joys of spousal intimacy for the sheer pleasure of it

* eat for two!

* join store baby registries

* get your nursery ready

* experience mood swings as you cope with the stress of all the changes in your lives

* worry about whether your baby will be healthy

* share in the ups and downs of your child's birthmom's pregnancy, if you're so blessed

* be feted at baby showers like any other expectant parent

* interview pediatricians to find just the right doctor for your future child

* be present for the birth, if invited by birthparent/s

* involve your extended family in your coming miracle if you so choose

* prepare to breastfeed, if that's important to you

and more-- just like every parent-to-be! Enjoy! The primary difference between an adoptive pregnancy and a homegrown one (aside from the physical experience) is that we never know in advance how long the wait will be for those who are adopting. After all, a homegrown pregnancy almost always takes a full 10 months, and adoptive pregnancies can often be shorter, being those parents have to be that much more ready for baby! (Nice problem to have, hmm?)

And if you want to wear maternity clothes, to let the world to know that you, too, have a bun in the oven (wherever that little bun may be baking!) check out this innovative little company especially for adopting parents-to-be: www.notshowing.com.

[Elaine 1]

Isn't that cute!!! Wish I had known about this company when we were adopting!

Wonder if I wanted to buy a shirt for Mandy...should I get her a blue one or a pink one...whatdayathink Elizabeth!!!

[ElizabethAnn 689]

Wonder if I wanted to buy a shirt for Mandy...should I get her a blue one or a pink one...whatdayathink Elizabeth!!!

If I were shopping for Mandy, I'd click on the section that says "Custom Orders" then I'd order the white one with black print that reads "Expecting from" but I'd enter the word "ABRAZO!" as the country-- just to see if they'd really print it that way! (Hope that helps you, Elaine!)

[Dale and Amanda 4]

That is wonderful! It brought tears to my eyes just readin the shirts! I hope that when the time comes I look at it as expecting!! (Sometimes I am too logical for my own good!!!)

[linlacor 23]

i saw these and sooooooooo wanted to order one, but the biggest size they do is a large so i may just have to get my own done...i would love to be sporting one of these next time i'm shopping at Babies R Us

lisa

[ckfmem 0]

i saw these and sooooooooo wanted to order one, but the biggest size they do is a large so i may just have to get my own done...i would love to be sporting one of these next time i'm shopping at Babies R Us

lisa

Lisa,

Some of the shirts go up to a XXL. Click around some more!!!

Celeste

[Stork Central 1,102]

Hey-- Abrazo got a special message, showing that the Forum is reaching important folks we didn't even know were reading our site! Check this out! (then place your order!)

Dear Elizabeth -

My name is Wendy Rodger. I am the owner of Not Showing. I wanted to thank you for

mentioning my product and website on your forum. I also wanted to let your other

members know that I will be adding larger sizes for my long sleeve shirts this winter.

They will be available by next week. I noticed one of the forum members mentioned the

largest size I had was Large. My sizes now range from Small - 2XLarge in both the long

sleeve and short sleeve (all short sleeve are now 50% off). I have also added onsies

for the babies and toddler sizes. Those will also be available next week online.

Please let your forum members know that I will be accomodating everyone now. I have

been in business just at a year now and it's been an incredible experience and also a

great learning experience. I have gotten tremendous feedback from all of my customers

which makes me feel really good.

I am also an adoptive mom myself. We have had our son Jake home from Guatemala for 3

1/2 months now and it has been wonderful. We are having the re-adoption done this

Saturday on National Adoption Awareness Day!

Thank you again for mentioning my company. Oh - and I would be happy to custom print

an "Expecting from Abrazo" t-shirt

Wendy Rodger

Owner & Adoptive Mom

Not Showing

www.notshowing.com

[tluther 5]

Well that's pretty cool Elizabeth (and Wendy)!!!

[melissamerritt 254]

Wow!

Elizabeth speaks and it gets done!! Let me get you my list.

These shirts are too cute.

[chilemom 0]

One of the things we emphasize at orientation is the fact that whether you become a parent by adoption or by birth, you still need to go through an emotional transition time of "pregnancy."

I just wanted to comment on this ... I joined a MOPS group several months ago, and at every meeting they ask any new expectant moms to come forward for a gift. Even though I've told my small group at MOPS about our adoption, I've been hesitant to go forward and have to explain to everyone that no, I'm not physically pregnant but we are still expecting a baby! So today I spoke with the MOPS leader ahead of time and told her that I would go forward today but I didn't want anyone to be confused (well, what I actually said was that even thought I might look physically pregnant, I am really only pregnant on paper!! ) and she was happy to add to her usual question: "Is anyone new expecting ... or adopting??" And then she shared with the group that we were adopting and there was some applause and oohs and aahs! Afterwards, two ladies spoke with me individually because adoption has been on their hearts and they wanted more information!

[jfmommy 1]

How cool! I wish this had been around when we were "expecting" 6 years ago.

Jill

[linlacor 23]

yay!!!!!!! i'm so excited!!!! i'll be ordering the xxl long sleeve shirt as soon as they're listed on the site, because that's the only thing is w/abrazo...a special delivery could very well beat the post office

lisa

[melissamerritt 254]

I love the pregnant on paper shirt! Too cute!

[ElizabethAnn 689]

Ok, so it's been awhile since anyone revived this topic... but for those of you out there who ARE currently paper-pregnant, tell us what (if anything) has changed in your lives since orientation weekend, what you are doing to keep yourselves busy (and sane!) while you wait, and how someone visiting your home could tell that you're expecting?

[suziandben 134]

Ok, so it's been awhile since anyone revived this topic... but for those of you out there who ARE currently paper-pregnant, tell us what (if anything) has changed in your lives since orientation weekend, what you are doing to keep yourselves busy (and sane!) while you wait, and how someone visiting your home could tell that you're expecting?

Having had a real miracle in our life in November 2008 (and watching another miracle unfold in my life today) I love this topic and am a firm believer in two sayings. (1) Go boldy in the direction of your dreams and (2) Jump and the net will appear

Before collin we:

- went to birthing & newborn care class

- went to infant cpr class

- built the nursery, stocked the nursery with EVERYTHING needed

- bought clothes

- washed all the baby clothes we had purchased over 10 YEARS

- packed the baby's suitcase for texas, zipped it up ready to go

- bought a car seat and box to check it as luggage

- found a cat sitter for our time in texas and gave her the key ahead of time

- left my very stressful no time for children job

- setup my business so that i could leave home at a moment's notice without missing a beat (laptop, aircard, fax to email account etc)

- registered at babies r us and target

while yes baby parker is here, the legal stuff isn't done yet so we're still "expecting" - but before we matched with his mama we:

- repacked the suitcase

- bought a basinet since collin is still in the crib

- bought little brother, big brother shirts

- closed my cpa practice in anticipation of being too busy with two kids

- etc etc

(I didn't register because with a boy I don't know what i would put on the list except diapers and formula - though I am shopping for a sling and a double stroller)

Believe friends believe and go boldy in the direction of your dreams!!!!

[andibean 1]

Ok, so it's been awhile since anyone revived this topic... but for those of you out there who ARE currently paper-pregnant, tell us what (if anything) has changed in your lives since orientation weekend, what you are doing to keep yourselves busy (and sane!) while you wait, and how someone visiting your home could tell that you're expecting?

We'll jump in on this one. We were super excited after orientation weekend and then really started spreading the news that we were "expecting". It felt great and it has been absolutely wonderful to see how excited our family, friends and coworkers are about it. Too excited sometimes; we are asked on a near daily basis for "any news?"

Besides buying a crib, we actually got off to a slow start on buying baby stuff. The last few weeks we've really picked it up. Nursery is almost done, we're buying children's books all the time and we should have enough in the way of clothes/onesies/bottles/etc for our time in Texas. Suzi, thank you SO MUCH for your list. I love lists so this was a real help! Some other things we're doing: taking a baby care class, getting our car seat inspected, registering at Target. Still debating about doing a shower pre-baby or after placement but we'll see...

~Andi

[erin 4]

When we were waiting to bring Azucena home, I went yard sale crazy I love yard sales anyway, but I really went nuts once we started our adoption paperwork. It was amazing how many beautiful and near-perfect condition clothes, toys, and children’s books I could buy for as little as 25 cents a piece! I overbought on purpose so that I could sell some of it on ebay... and made about $1000, thus paying for all the clothes, toys, and books that I kept for her. It saved money and gave me something useful to do during my wait. And every season I go “shopping” in my guest room closet for larger sizes. I even have some things put away for when she’s 6-7 years old, all from yard sales before she was born in summer 2006!

We got her Peter Rabbit nursery all ready – painting and decorating the room, putting together the crib and changing table, getting a nice chair to rock in, etc. Doing all that made it feel real. Little did we know that the nursery was going to sit there for 2 ½ years before she finally came home! But when she did, she was so excited to see her “bunny room” that we’d been telling her about. And she was in the crib for about six months before we replaced it with a toddler bed. Here’s a photo of her nursery.

Edited January 22, 2010 by erin

[TRACEB 102]

When we were waiting to bring Azucena home, I went yard sale crazy I love yard sales anyway, but I really went nuts once we started our adoption paperwork. It was amazing how many beautiful and near-perfect condition clothes, toys, and children’s books I could buy for as little as 25 cents a piece! I overbought on purpose so that I could sell some of it on ebay... and made about $1000, thus paying for all the clothes, toys, and books that I kept for her. It saved money and gave me something useful to do during my wait. And every season I go “shopping” in my guest room closet for larger sizes. I even have some things put away for when she’s 6-7 years old, all from yard sales before she was born in summer 2006!

We got her Peter Rabbit nursery all ready – painting and decorating the room, putting together the crib and changing table, getting a nice chair to rock in, etc. Doing all that made it feel real. Little did we know that the nursery was going to sit there for 2 ½ years before she finally came home! But when she did, she was so excited to see her “bunny room” that we’d been telling her about. And she was in the crib for about six months before we replaced it with a toddler bed. Here’s a photo of her nursery.

What a beautiful nursery!! Thanks for sharing!

Tracey

[hkingkong 10]

Adorable nursery!

Heather

[Alicia and Nate 1]

Nate and I also started telling everyone we were adopting, just before our Abrazo orientation and the feedback has been all positive. We have also been surprised to learn how many people we know or work with have adopted because they have opened up about their adoption stories. Similar to Andi....We are now frequently being asked "Any news yet?"

Now that we are matched, We have been going into overdrive....Nate and I have taken the infant cpr class, next week we take a baby care class for adoptive parents, we are looking forward to this one. I have made appointments to interview pediatricians here, also looking to see what pediatricians/hospitals are in my health insurance network in the Texas town we will be, started discussing with HR my FMLA/Leave of Absence, looking into daycare for after my time off...most good ones have waiting lists.

Another perk of being "a little" older before having kids, all our friends kids are just out of their cribs and they are telling us not to buy anything. We have been offered many cribs, clothes, toys and nursery furniture already. Our friends have also asked us about having a baby shower, Nate and I decided we are going to wait until placement occurs, but I can't imagine we will need much.

I also bought the book "Baby Bargains" and it has been a wealth of knowledge, for purchasing baby items. They review everything to do with baby. Safety is their number one priority and they write good, better, best reviews on products. Also it's endorsed by Oprah, and who doesn't like Oprah!

Nate and I went into Baby's R Us for the first time lastnight. Neither one of us are shoppers mind you and Wow! it was so overwhelming, we left to go drink!

Alicia

[erin 4]

Thanks, Tracey and Heather!

[RHSegura 548]

I recently was reading on an open adoption discussion and the use of the phrase "paper pregnant" was being discussed. It was quite heated back and forth as some like the phrase and some were saying how horrible and disrespectful it is.

It is not a phrase we used in our adoption journeys, but I also don't think that most people that use the phrase mean any harm at all. I think with all things adoption there are so many emotions and sensitivities that make some terms or phrases disliked depending what position you are in.

Has anyone used this phrase and had someone have a bad reaction to it? Just curious.

Edited February 6, 2012 by RHSegura

[DPJ 245]

I recently was reading on an open adoption discussion and the use of the phrase "paper pregnant" was being discussed. It was quite heated back and forth as some like the phrase and some were saying how horrible and disrespectful it is.

It is not a phrase we used in our adoption journeys, but I also don't think that most people that use the phrase mean any harm at all. I think with all things adoption there are so many emotions and sensitivities that make some terms or phrases disliked depending what position you are in.

Has anyone used this phrase and had someone have a bad reaction to it? Just curious.

I'm on one Infertilty forum and the words or phrase like: "baby dust" always ruffles feathers there.....it's an interesting topic though...

[suziandben 134]

I recently was reading on an open adoption discussion and the use of the phrase "paper pregnant" was being discussed. It was quite heated back and forth as some like the phrase and some were saying how horrible and disrespectful it is.

It is not a phrase we used in our adoption journeys, but I also don't think that most people that use the phrase mean any harm at all. I think with all things adoption there are so many emotions and sensitivities that make some terms or phrases disliked depending what position you are in.

Has anyone used this phrase and had someone have a bad reaction to it? Just curious.

When we came home from orietation with abrazo we told our families "it's not if but when" therefore we are supposed to allow ourselves to be expecting and that it's either going to be a long pregnancy or a short pregnancy. When we matched with collin's birthmom someone said something using some words that were too owning for my comfort before his birth/relinquishment. I cannot even remember the words she used. I said to her oh we're not there yet - it's just a match at this point. She said well I thought the adoption agency told you to go home from orientation and allow yourselves to be "pregnant". I was like yeah I just don't know if we're pregnant with this baby or not ultimately.

It's so confusing and emotionally charged. I don't think there's one right answer.

[TexasFamily 190]

We never used paper pregnant but we did say that we started our adoption journey.

Paper pregnant does not bother me but someone I know said it bothered them...Because adoptive parents have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant. When she said that, it felt like a slap in the face.

Some people are just jerks.