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I was inspired by two posts (by Melissa and Jay) about adoption issues they've encountered at church... could we (Abrazo and you) put together a 90 minute program that could be presented at various churches (by our alum) to help educate our church families about the meaning of open adoption and how churches can welcome and better support their members whose lives are impacted by open adoptions?

Thinking of your church and the people there, what parts of the adoption experience are most important to share? Are there any handouts or readings in particular you think would be useful? What activities or exercises would help draw folks in? What points would you want to make?

Abrazo does have a brief (17 minute) video (done at Camp last year) that explains the basic process and introduces the role of adoption triad members; we could incorporate this into the presentation or produce a new video specifically for this purpose. Perhaps if we start teaching the people in our own neighborhoods how to understand and celebrate and talk about adoption today, the effects will start rippling like a pebble in a pond and create a more adoption-friendly environment in which all our children can grow...

But it can be so much better if it's built by all of us-- not just adoption professionals, but the real-life experts-- those who have walked the walk and can talk the talk!!! :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

And then again, why re-invent the wheel? Christianity Today is offering a special study guide to be used in churches and small groups, called Touched By Adoption. Forty-two pages long, the download can be purchased for $7.95 and then used to make up to 1000 copies for church use. The contents of "Touched By Adoption" include:

OVERVIEW

Are you beginning to wonder if God wants you to adopt a child? Are you looking for helpful resources as you think through how your family will be affected? This guide has great stories and information for anyone considering adoption as well as encouragement for those who already know its joys and challenges.

Introduction: Moved by the Call

Whether it’s the drama, the emotions, or the similarity to the way God works, something about adoption moves me more than anything else.

by Caryn Rivadeneira

Leader’s Guide

How to use “Touched by Adoption” for a group study.

A Dream Fulfilled

I never imagined my miracle would come all the way from Guatemala.

by Melissa Montana

Adopting Emily

My self-righteous plans collided sharply with God’s.

by Amy Laura Hall

From Haiti with Love

The unexpected way three boys transformed our hearts and our home forever.

by Karen Kingsbury

What Do You Want for Christmas?

The difference between God’s hands and his heart.

by Elisa Morgan

Our Surprise Family

It’s not what I’d originally imagined—but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

by Brenda B. Covert

The International Adoption Option

Adopting a child from another country can be a powerful way to share God’s love. And it’s easier than you think.

by Suzanne Woods Fisher

The Many Miracles of Adoption

For Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, international adoption not only changed the size of their family—it changed the size of their hearts.

by Carla Barnhill

We Are Family

My daughter and I were once worlds apart, but God brought us together.

by Barbara A. Stacy

'A Conspicuous Family’

The Marcelos represent three races in four people—and praise God for it.

by Lisa Ann Cockrel

‘My Parents Don’t Get Adoption’

A look at adoption from an adopted child’s perspective.

by Jim Burns

‘I Want to Know More about My Adoption’

How to talk to your kids about their birth family.

by Jim Burns

Additional Resources

A list of agencies and books for more information.

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Thank you, Stork Central!!! :):):)

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Thank you. I was asked last week to make a presentation to our church about our adoption experiences. This will be most helpful!

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  • 3 months later...

Tell us about your house of faith! How did you become involved with the church or temple that you call "home"? What are your favorite things about your place of worship? What problems are facing your church at present? What innovative ideas or programs go on there that other faith communities could learn from or use to their benefit?

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What a timely topic.

We go to the church that Chris went to almost all his life. He was a youth director once and for a year we were members of another church, but other than that Chris has been in this church since he was a newborn. It is a nice some-what small church in the country.

My favorite thing about our church is it is very friendly and has a very active children's and youth ministry. Chris and I teach the "young married" Sunday School class. We have a blast teaching this class together, it makes us feel young! ;)

One of the biggest problems that our church is facing now is something very common throughtout the country. We have several people that want our church to only sing the old traditional songs and never stray to the more modern music and then of course we have others that want more of a contemporary song service. When I look at the problems facing many churches today our problem seems minor, but as one of those that like the more modern music the problem seems huge. I believe this problem has keep our church from reaching some of the younger families in the area, which is how a church can grow.

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Our life experiences during our nine years of marriage have led us to several wonderful churches in different states! While each church has shared the same basic theology/denomination, in other ways each one has been very different. We attended a small inner-city, African American church plant when we were first married, where we worked with the children and youth. We saw such great needs in the children's home lives and how important having consistent Christian role models in the church - especially married couples who loved one another and were faithful to each other! - was to their understanding of God's faithful, unchanging love for them.

While in seminary, we attended a church that had a vibrant ministry to young married couples. The encouragement and fellowship was so awesome, and we made lifelong friends during that time. We shared the joys of beginning parenthood as well as the sorrows of being unable to start a family. Most of the couples were headed into full-time ministry, so we also experienced together the burdens of study and the excitement of dreaming about God's future plans for all of us!

Later, we attended the church where Pedro was born and raised. The church went through a lot of interpersonal conflicts while we were there, which was difficult, but we developed some special friendship while we were there. Many of our friends were married couples a bit older than us, and we learned so much about parenting and life from them!

Now, we are helping in the small Hispanic church that Pedro's parents started here in Texas. It is challenging and exciting!

The greatest blessing to me in any church I have attended is developing those "family ties" - the fellowship of loving and serving the same God, and being there for one another in good times and bad - providing meals, prayer, babysitting, a shoulder to cry on, picking one another up when we fall, reminding each other of God's love and faithfulness ... of growing together in our understanding of Who God is and how He works in our lives ... and of sharing His love with others! ^_^

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  • 2 years later...

Wow!!! How cool is this?!

I don't know where the "Bunde Christian Reformed Church" is, but I intend to find out and send their pastor a letter of commendation, because while surfing the Internet today, I ran across their church newsletter for February 2009-- and on page 4, they published an article for their congregation on welcoming adopted children into their church family!!

See it for yourself, here! then forward a copy to your church office with a suggestion that they do something just like this!

How great would it be for all Abrazo's kiddos to be attending churches with this kind of "adoption-friendly" spirit?!

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What a great newsletter. The Stickybacks have talked about adoption and our churches during our conference calls. Just as the letter described, not to let others hold the child and so forth. This is a wonderful letter that is explaining the transition the child goes through, and explaining that the parents are not trying to be rude. :)

Praise this church.

Tracey

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Wow!!! How cool is this?!

I don't know where the "Bunde Christian Reformed Church" is, but I intend to find out and send their pastor a letter of commendation,

I did a Google search, and there is a Bunde Christian Reformed Church in Clara City, MN. Not sure if this is the same church, but this is a pretty unique name.

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Wow that is SO spot on. I wish I had had that letter 3 months ago BEFORE some very akward moments at church and with family. I had to ask my father in law to please STOP asking me to leave my 1 month old with them to babysit. Just because I'm not breastfeeding doesn't mean he doesn't need to be with mommy and daddy. This so succinct and to the the point. Thank you so much Elizabeth for sharing!!!!!

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That is so great! I am in charge of my church's newsletter. I could put this in but then someone would wonder if I was offended or the other adopted couples.

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Great letter! I have to say that our church, very small, very white, and very caring, has been NOTHING but wonderful since they first learned we were adopting Garrett from Guatemala. Everyone was so excited for us, but very respectful of boundaries, especially in the first few months he was home. One of the most meaningful moments, so far, was Garrett's baptism. Our pastor wore a traditional scarf-like thing (Sorry - I don't know the official name for it!) from Guatemala and gave such a personal sermon/blessing to Garrett that including so many adoption elements in it. It was wonderful! Now that we're waiting for a second child to find his/her way to our family, we are so comforted in knowing that our child will be fully accepted and welcomed with open arms at our church. That is such a wonderful feeling!

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Great letter! I have to say that our church, very small, very white, and very caring, has been NOTHING but wonderful since they first learned we were adopting Garrett from Guatemala. Everyone was so excited for us, but very respectful of boundaries, especially in the first few months he was home. One of the most meaningful moments, so far, was Garrett's baptism. Our pastor wore a traditional scarf-like thing (Sorry - I don't know the official name for it!) from Guatemala and gave such a personal sermon/blessing to Garrett that including so many adoption elements in it. It was wonderful! Now that we're waiting for a second child to find his/her way to our family, we are so comforted in knowing that our child will be fully accepted and welcomed with open arms at our church. That is such a wonderful feeling!

I'm guessing you're referring to the Guatemalan stole (like this one?)

These also come in patterns and colors appropriate to the African-American community, for anyone who's curious: see more, here.

As a P.K. (preacher's kid), I think these make a lovely clergy appreciation gift, for anyone wanting a special way to show their pastor or priest what his/her support of their adoption means to them...

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How cool is this? Intergenerational Church Dance: 4 generations

As one who attends a church with a whole lot more "builders" than even "boomers" or "bridgers," I find this truly inspiring. :lol:

And for anyone out there who might like to visit this lively-and-alive church in GA (or hear sermons online): here's the Greater Travelers Rest Baptist Church website.

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As one who attends a church with a whole lot more "builders" than even "boomers" or "bridgers," I find this truly inspiring. :lol:

Okay I'm clueless - what are builders and bridgers? I think I know what you mean by boomers unless the word means something different in church.

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Okay I'm clueless - what are builders and bridgers? I think I know what you mean by boomers unless the word means something different in church.

Just references to some of the terms used by the pastor in the preceding video... ;)

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  • 2 years later...

So... I am just curious... how much did being an adoptive family factor into you choosing a church?

When we moved from Louisville to Lexington we already had Luke. We were hopeful to find a place that would be child-friendly in general (and adoption friendly was a bonus!)

We found an amazing place that has embraced our kids and our family. Our kids literally disappear when we come in because someone wants to hold them or help take them to their nursery or class. They have tons of wonderful activities for the kids and we hope ours will enjoy them as they grow.

It has amazed me too... I have not once been asked an insensitive infertility question. Adoption is celebrated... when a family adopts they and their new little one are introduced just like a family that has given birth would be. It just feels like a comfortable balance where we are not "the family that adopted" but yet adoption is accepted and celebrated. There are other adoptive families, foster families, mixed race families, and everything in between. I feel like our kids will never feel out of place there.

We were there yesterday and I am just so thankful for such a safe and caring community so I thought I'd share. :)

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I wish we could find a church like yours, Hannah! The church we're at now is just huge... and while the anonymity is something I love about it, it's also something I don't love if that makes sense. It's not a community like smaller churches are, but the anonymity makes Steven much more comfortable. I think we'll eventually look for a smaller church as we grow our family to add more diversity and a more hands-on experience.

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One of the reasons we love our church is they have a Adoption Ministry.

The person who leads the ministry is a Adoptive Mom herself and she has been wonderful in her support of us and our journey of becoming a family of 3.

Edited by TexasFamily
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We chose our church before beginning our adoption journey but it was one part of our lives that actually made us even more comfortable with our decision to be open to any child who needed us because there is such great diversity on all levels - there are several adoptive families, many mixed race families, special ministry/outreach to those with disabilities, it has a flourishing Spanish community (so has several bilingual services on special occasions) and is a historically African American parish. We drive about a half hour in towards the city every weekend because it is such a wonderful community. Everyone has completely embraced Joseph and both the priests ask all the time how he's doing. We are so thankful we found this community.

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