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ElizabethAnn

How Much Does It Cost To Raise a Child?

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Finances should NEVER be the only factor considered when making choices about raising a child.

But whether you're trying to decide whether to parent or whether to adopt, here's a useful calculator to help you compute what parenting might cost, given the region of the country in which you live:

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WWHOOOOAA...MINE CAME OUT TO OVER $340,OOO....oh geez for each one??? :o:lol:

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I just did ours and oh my!!!! We are at 1.6 million!! :o:o:o I guess I better get the thought out of my head about staying home for a few years. There is no way that is going to happen.

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OK, that's just waaaaaaaaay too scary! :huh::o:blink:

607,270 and 630,352!!!

Worth it, well, worth it, of course!!!

Edited by mwalker

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$607,000++++

Good Lord, I will have to work the rest of my life!!! Oh wait, I have to do that anyway. :angry:

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Ouch! I think we may need to move. With our two girls, living where we do, we're looking at more than $1.2 million. Luckily we didn't have to come up with that upfront! But you know, when I really, really think about it ... who cares? I would so give up all of my material wealth and maybe a limb or two for those little fishies of ours!

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Ellouise,

I am right there with you. Yesterday when I told me husband what the estimated cost for raising our three boys would be over $1.6 million he simply replied it was the best money he has or will ever spend. Yes our life would be very different without children and we would be able to afford many more things than we can right now but we would not be near as happy as we are right now :D:D:D

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Someone may have already posted this under another topic heading, but since I haven't seen it, I'll go ahead and post it here. This is an interesting article from Monday's edition of U.S. Today about more women/families placing children for adoption because of the economy, and it also focuses on open adoption:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-05-18-mother_N.htm

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"Finances are one of the major reasons women feel compelled to place their children for adoption," says Adam Pertman of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a research group.

Finances are also prompting more women to question pregnancy and to inquire about abortion. One in 10 married women say they are delaying pregnancy because of the economy, according to a Gallup Organization survey this month.

Of all the reasons I chose for placing, money is the only one I struggle with. I think its disgusting that our society is so materialistic that people would place or abort a baby they could actually provide for, but not provide "well enough"- which means they can't provide all the things that the T.V. tells them they need, or that their friends have. I still don't have money and am expecting my second child, which I will be parenting. Yes I had to settle that I didn't need that super cute expensive swing, and that hand me downs are just as good as new things. Money will be tight, but we can afford to feed, clothe, provide shelter for, and give proper care to this baby. We probably wont be able to go out to eat as much, or to buy toys for our pets as often, but thats okay. We're willing to give up some of the things we currently enjoy to be able to raise our child. Its more than worth it to us. And I'll admit, when we go to Babies R Us, or to a friends house and they have a matching nursery and all the cute little things we don't need but that I want, I feel jealous. I feel unprepared. Sometimes it makes me feel inadequate. But then I have to remember that I don't subscribe to cable or listen to the radio for a reason, because I don't feel being bombarded with ideas of things you don't need is good for you. Because I acknowledge that Americans are huge consumers and that I don't have to be entrenched in that cycle. That things are just that things, and I'll readily admit that its nice to have new things, and that I do aspire to have nice things, but I'll also admit that I don't need them to get by. And neither will Karina, especially considering she'll never remember if she had all the "new, improved" stuff anyway.

So if someone were to tell me that they were considering placing or aborting simply because of money I would strongly suggest to them that they re-think their budget and realize that there are probably things that they can do without. I would advise them to consider the complete spectrum of options and that their are serious emotional repercussions for both of those choices and that money is a pretty lame excuse when there is help out there.

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poverty.jpg

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if money is the only thing motivating someone to make an adoption plan, then they should definitely reconsider all the other options.

Because money comes and money goes, but one should NEVER apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

That said, I've often found that prospective birthparents feel it's more "acceptable" to claim financial problems as a reason for placing, as if it's somehow more responsible to place for lack of funding than it is to admit one never really intended to become a mother or doesn't feel stable enough to take on the role or feels more invested in their career or knows that having one more child will completely push their marriage over the edge or cannot forfeit a lifestyle that would endanger a child, or wants their child to have the kind of parent they know they themselves cannot become, or wants to protect their child from a partner they cannot or will not leave, etc.

I watch the media reports of increasing domestic placement needs and the public response with mixed feelings; for all the excitement such stories may raise among those hoping to adopt, the media coverage seems oblivious to the fact that each of those placements represents such an enormous family loss to somebody who might otherwise have been able to make it, were it not for the economy.

I think adoptive parents who find it more comfortable to tell their child/ren "your birthparents loved you but they couldn't afford to raise a baby" may find that explanation raises questions far more difficult to answer, when their children innocently respond by asking "then why didn't you just give them the money so they would be able to keep me?"

(Sigh...)

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First of all - when talking to our children about adoption, I don't make anything MY opinion. Like "We can give you a better life." or "they can't afford you" or "they weren't ready for you." instead add some simple words like "They wanted what they thought would be a better life for you." or "They wanted more for you than what they could give you." because it wasn't up to me, it was what they wanted for them. that is just me though...hopefully I'm not way off.

I always laugh at what people feel is necessary. Why, for example, do we all have these big expensive homes and find them necessary? Remember what most of us grew up in? Most were half the size. And don't get me started on all the "must be new" stuff. I love hand-me-downs or consignment sales. That is just SMART! I'm also not sure I agree with that "calculator". There are a lot of things that society thinks you "need" when in actuality you don't. Kristal - I so agree with you!! While I think you should be smart about family planning (be able to afford the basics) money should not be everything. A part of me thinks that our society has become selfish, which might explain the "average size" of families decreasing more and more.

The one thing i hate about adoption is that finances are such a huge part of it. Not ony the cost of the adoption but having a social worker look over all your finances to make sure you can afford another child "in thier opinion". Which isn't so scary for those of us with excellent social workers but I have heard some really horrid stories.

As much as it takes financially to raise a child, a child is a gift from God, and he does provide. So we have to trust in His plan...

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