suebee Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 From the article... Bullock tells People in the exclusive interview -- hitting newsstands on Friday, April 30 (we got an advance copy) -- that she hasn't had two full nights of sleep since the baby was born. "You wake up, you feed, you burp, you play, you do laundry," she says in the interview. I took this to mean that she was very involved in raising her new son. Of course, that is assuming I believe everything I read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale and Amanda Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 The topic doesn't make me uncomfortable, if that is what you were referring to, Elizabeth. I just am amazed at the audactiy of people to make such assumptions. We have those in our forum family that have had their family dynamic change at one time or another, and I don't think they are any less able to be good parents. We have some incredible single parents!!!! As for a change in family, did you not say that it would be detrimental to the child to lose one (presumably) bonded parent? Why on earth would it be suggested that the entire placement be disrupted and cause further trauma to this child when no one could absolutely know that it wouldn't happen with the next placement. I also wonder how on earth someone who has voluntarily terminated their rights could make any demands that would have legal basis? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tksimmons02 Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 I don't think a failed marriage is a good reason to terminate an adoption plan. No one can know the future. Marriages fail for lots of valid reasons - and that doesn't nullify the ability of the parties involved to parent. Birthmothers make the best choice they can - just like couple entering a marriage. No one is given a guarantee that their choice will work out. I don't think adoptions should be reversed just because the adoptive couple chooses to seperate. Just like I don't think an adoption should be turned over just because the birthfamily finds themselves in a better situation and able to parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiK Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 I get what you are saying here Elizabeth, I wondered that too... Would the birthmom be heartbroken to find out that before the baby was 2 months old that the parents she picked had split if her "dream" for the child was to be raised in a two parent household? And not that it would have any "legal" merit...would she have wanted to know or been consulted about the idea of re-choosing since seemily placement had just occurred...hard to know what is right...I certainly would hope that she might have been told about it prior to it being People Magazine headlines. But I think Sandra is a class act all the way around - and I hope there is ongoing communication - since thats reaaly the key in getting thru any situation. BTW- Sandy- from the transracial single Mom crowd - we are open to having playdates -anytime...call me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 I personally was thrilled to come home today to be greated by the beautiful picture of a new mom and her beautiful baby boy. I thought of the love and joy the two would have and thought of my son and I. Perhaps the single parent household is not ideal, but there's no denying that there is love and a genuine desire to parent. Be that right or wrong, my heart sang to see another baby boy of color being wanted and loved whole heartedly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hkingkong Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 I wonder if Sandra has an open adoption? I think the birthparents should decide if the adoption should be finalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suebee Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 I wonder if Sandra has an open adoption? I think the birthparents should decide if the adoption should be finalized. If their rights are already terminated, then legally they have no grounds to protest the finalization. If an exception were made, it could set a precedence and open a can of worms! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziandben Posted May 2, 2010 Report Share Posted May 2, 2010 Interesting questions and so hard to make judgements about what should or shouldn't happen. I can see many sides to this situation. I get what all of you are saying (why I stink at politics I agree with all sides). I think the bottom line for me is ... I LOVE that this baby is a US baby. I am so tired of how trendy international adoption has become. People ask me where I got my kids and act let down when I say here! That's wrong. I'm so happy for celebrity attention to domestic adoption for that I have no desire to pick this apart. I'm behind you Sandy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale and Amanda Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Suzi, the US thing is huge in my mind. It is so sad to see the disappointment on people's faces when I tell them that our girls are from TN and TX!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACEB Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Suzi, the US thing is huge in my mind. It is so sad to see the disappointment on people's faces when I tell them that our girls are from TN and TX!!! Amanda, I too see the surprising look on people face's when they ask me and I say TX. One lady asked me if Lathan was from China? What?? Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isis Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Interesting questions and so hard to make judgements about what should or shouldn't happen. I can see many sides to this situation. I get what all of you are saying (why I stink at politics I agree with all sides). I think the bottom line for me is ... I LOVE that this baby is a US baby. I am so tired of how trendy international adoption has become. People ask me where I got my kids and act let down when I say here! That's wrong. I'm so happy for celebrity attention to domestic adoption for that I have no desire to pick this apart. I'm behind you Sandy!! I agree that outside of the issue of the failed marriage, this case attracts well-deserved attention to domestic adoption, and especially biracial adoption. I find that here in dc, where the norm is to adopt internationally, people are not so much let down when I say we adopted domestically, but kind of surprised, as if it never occurred to them that you could adopt here, especially a biracial adoption. In response, I usually explain that there are many children in need of a family right here in the US. People listen to this with a lot of interest because I really think they have no idea that it happens or that there is a need (outside of in the movies, ie Juno, which is accurate but ignores biracial US adoption ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny & Michelle Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Wow. I have to say that I am a bit dissapointed by some of the responses here. As the father of an internationally adopted child I have to say it was not a "trendy decision" but one that brought a beautiful little girl into my family that I could not possible love more. Love is without physical boundaries. Love does not care about race, state lines, governments, or nationalities. There are children in the world who need homes and families, and there are families who want and need these children. I thank God each and every day for both of the very different journeys he has put my family on (first Sophia from China and now our 2nd child from Texas)and I try not to place judgement on other families and the paths they have traveled. My .02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziandben Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Kenny I think you read that wrong. No one is saying you & Michelle view international adoption as trendy. AP's (including you and Michelle) are not who we are talking about. I'm talking about reactions I get from people who have not adopted at all and who know nothing about adoption when they hear that our kids were adopted domestically. I think the media along with celebrity attention have fueled too many misperceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACEB Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Kenny I think you read that wrong. No one is saying you & Michelle view international adoption as trendy. AP's (including you and Michelle) are not who we are talking about. I'm talking about reactions I get from people who have not adopted at all and who know nothing about adoption when they hear that our kids were adopted domestically. I think the media along with celebrity attention have fueled too many misperceptions. Suzi, Yes that is what I was referring to, "reactions from people who have not adopted at all and who know nothing about adoption". Kenny, I don't think no one was referring to anything about international adoption, only the reactions and questions from people who ask questions about adoption. Just as so many know nothing about Open Adoption. Those are some questions and answers that get some "reactions" also. I do believe we all are so blessed from the way our families have been brought together. I couldn't imagine our life without Lathan as you could not imagine yours without Sophia. Sorry if you have taken this the wrong way. Safe travels to TX. Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale and Amanda Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Kenny, I am sorry if you were offended by my comments. It doesn't seem that celebrities often adopt domestically and the media seems to perpetuate a notion that only international adoptions are worthy and the public (in my experience) has embraced the thought that international children need "saving." I don't think that adoption should ever be about "saving" a child from anything. I will say that we felt strongly about domestic adoption. I do not believe that everyone feels that way, and that is ok. Families are built in various ways, and that is absolutely amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 If their rights are already terminated, then legally they have no grounds to protest the finalization. If an exception were made, it could set a precedence and open a can of worms! Actually, in most states, fraud does present grounds for a relinquishment/termination to be set aside, which could then give a biological parent grounds to contest the finalization of an adoption; in this instance, however, it would depend on whether or not proven misrepresentation of the stability of a marriage would constitute fraud in the state in which the challenge was being raised? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erin Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 I think the bottom line for me is ... I LOVE that this baby is a US baby. I am so tired of how trendy international adoption has become. People ask me where I got my kids and act let down when I say here! That's wrong. I'm so happy for celebrity attention to domestic adoption for that I have no desire to pick this apart. I'm behind you Sandy!! In reading your subsequent posts I see that you didn’t mean harm by your statement, but I hope you do see how “I am so tired of how trendy international adoption has become” could be perceived as denigrating. Just like people who adopt domestically get thoughtless reactions like you have, people who adopt internationally get dumb comments like, “Oh, are you trying to be like Angelina?” and comments in the media implying that people adopt internationally are just looking for little fashion accessory babies. So maybe you can understand now why we are sensitive to comments about “trendiness.” I’ve heard of quite a lot of celebrities adopting domestically, like Sheryl Crow, Calista Flockhart, Nia Vardalos, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman… In my experience it’s not accurate to say that the media only gives attention to those who adopt internationally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 While we're on the subject of Sandra Bullock and the soon-to-be dismissed adoptive father of little Louis... Adoption = Infidelity Insurance for Wives of Sleazy Hubbies? Good news, y'all! According to Bombshell McGhee, it's ONE thing to cheat with someone else's husband, but it's quite another thing to hook-up with an adopting father, and she would NEVER have messed around with Jesse had she known he was adopting!?! (Oh, puhleeze.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isis Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 I don't follow celebrity news much at all (not because I don't want to but just can't seem to find the time... ugh), but I had heard of celeb international adoptions. I had no idea many celebs also adopted domestically (my ignorance). However, in dc, the question I always get is: what country did you adopt from? Maybe that's just dc specific. Many people here work in the int'l humanitarian arena, and int'l adoption is for them the logical thing to do. But it does take me aback each time people make the assumption that Benjamin was adopted from Ethiopia. That's not meant to be a judgment on people who adopt in Ethiopia, for hom I have tremendous respect. It's just a reflection on my own experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieR Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 I guess it is funny to me that people make assumptions at all. Why not just politely ask. I love sharing our experiences of adoption because thankfully they have been so positive. I feel a lot of times like a cheerleader for adoptive parents, birth parents and adoption in general. I guess I can thank Abrazo for educating us and helping make this such a wonderful experience. I hope all works out well for Sandra and her little boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin and Mark Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Elizabeth - Has is ever happened that someone wasn't finalized yet and the adoptive parents seperated or divorced? I'm not asking for me personally!! But I was just curious if you guys have had to deal with that situation? Erin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Not yet, that I know of, Erin... and I'm thankful for that! But we have twice had couples attend orientation and then announce within days or weeks that they were divorcing, and we declined to work with both after that, because each had applied as couples, not as single parents (and Abrazo does not place children with individuals who are married yet do not intend to adopt the child/ren with their spouse, although that request does come up at times.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin and Mark Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Interesting! So they could apply as single parents after the divorce I'm assuming? What about a single parent that gets married before the finalization process? Can they both "apply" to adopt the child or only the parent that started the process? The adoption world with its rules and laws is interesting to me. I would never want to be an adoption lawyer, but still interesting!! Erin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 Rihanna Fears Childbirth, Is Contemplating Adopting "Even if I have to adopt, I'll be a mom someday"...?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted May 26, 2010 Report Share Posted May 26, 2010 Rihanna Fears Childbirth, Is Contemplating Adopting "Even if I have to adopt, I'll be a mom someday"...?!?!?! Ugh. I feel more like :angry:. I just hate to hear people describe adoption as a "last ditch" or "even if I have to..." situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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