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Helping your daughter (or son) thru adoption

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Its been almost three months since Kristal placed Colby and she is still adjusting to the loss of her chance to parent him. As you know, if you follow the forum, Kristal placed Colby with the best AP ever. She still struggles with it. I offer advice, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on and an ear, but sometimes I am still at a loss as what to do to help her through this. I am hoping she gets into some counseling for her grief, there just are not alot of support groups out there for BP. A support group for someone who has suffered a loss, like death, is not really the right compromise. But its so hard for her. The one great thing in all of this is Angie and Wade. They are so open and willing to accept all of us. If it wasn't for them being as good as they are, I think we'd have to institutionalize Kristal. (Maybe that's a little excessive, but she'd be a basket case). If there are any other BGP (BirthGrandParents) out there who have made it through this, any advice would be welcomed.

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  • 1 month later...

Just wanted to revive this topic for Robin (Diana's mom), and to welcome her to the Forum!

We all know that the courage and strength of our birthmoms is also part of the loving legacy of the moms who raised them! Yet we know that this journey into adoption is painful for them both. Our mothers want to be supportive of their daughters, and as daughters, we want our moms to be proud of us, but placing a child for adoption is a sacrifice for both, and we all recognize that.

So for any of our birthgrandmothers out there: please know that we're all here for you, too, if you need support, and we ask God to bless you, your son/daughter, and that special grandbaby-to-be! We're honored to have you as part of our Forum family.

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thank you, Elizabeth, for this warm welcome. so far, i think i'm doing okay - trying to be strong for Diana. but i am learning how hard this can be for the bgrandparents - it's even pretty rough for MY mother, but then again, she is MY rock. i thank God every day for the life i've had, and wonder how i made it thru it (i was such a black sheep unsure.gif ). i can't even begin to imagine what is yet to come, except to know that we have found the BEST support group anyone could ever ask for. but, as in all things worth experiencing in life, i know there will be both tears and laughter, sunshine and rain, anger and joy. with your help, and Ashley & Ted, my 'baby girl' will make it through an even stronger and more beautiful young woman. THAT is what i will need to help me get through.

and on another, yet related note, i want Ted and Ashley - and you, 'legalizers' - to know that if, God forbid, anything should happen to Diana, Sir Tucker Wilder will still make TN his home with his Mommy & Daddy. i promise you that, God willing, you will hold your son in your arms. face it guys, yer stuck with us - like gum on yer shoe wink.gif.

all my love & respect,


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Wow, Robin,

You never cease to amaze me! We can't even imagine how tough this is and is going to be for your family- we pray for you almost without ceasing! In such a short time we have come to love you all so much. Adoption is such a beautiful but strange thing... we look so forward to growing our family (even with our new extended family) yet we know this is going to be so hard on Diana and your whole family. I really feel that God in is sovereignty he has brought us together and that he has big plans for all of us! No matter what happens we are grateful that he did! You have touched us in ways we can't express. We look forward to moving ahead on this journey with you and discovering what God has in store.

We love you so much,


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  • 2 years later...

Somehow, I never realized that the daughter of evangelist Billy Graham is also a birthgrandmother!? Ruth Bell Graham supported her own daughter through an unplanned pregnancy that resulted in a heartwrenching adoption experience, and shares part of that story here. And to read a review of the book she wrote with Dr. Sara Dorman, click here: I'm Pregnant... Now What?

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