karen&scott Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 I wish I could answer your question officially, but unofficially I feel like it should not matter. It saddens me to read a post like yours because of all the hoops adoptors (think) they have to jump through to be able to adopt. Hopefully though, renting or owning your home is not one of them. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong. More importantly it should be your ability to make sound financial decisions and to make sure your home is safe and conducive to parenting. Best of luck to you (and your move)! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Does anybody know if it is necessary to own your home vs. renting? My husband and I currently own our home in a suburb, but he got a new job in the city. We were thinking of putting our house on the market so we could move closer to his job and therefore he would get home earlier. I just have fears that renting wouldn't be accepted by the agency or the birth mothers? I have no idea??? Any advice would be very helpful!! Everleigh - I'm definitely not an expert on this, but I can tell you that our church hosts classes for prospective foster families and I remember hearing that foster families are not required to be home owners - they are just expected to have sufficient space for a baby (when it comes to rent vs. own). I would have to assume this also applies to most (if not all) adoptions. I can also tell you many agencies allow families who rent to adopt, but I can't be sure Abrazo is on that list. You could definitely call the Abrazo offices and just ask - then you'd know for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stork Central Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 While it's possible that a birthparent could ask whether the family she/he is considering owns their home, proof of home ownership is not a prerequisite for adoption at Abrazo. What we look for is evidence that the families with whom we place are financially stable and that they manage their money effectively. Most homestudy workers (and most birthparents) we know are much more interested in the character of the adopting parent/s than their real estate holdings, so not to worry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 Did anyone begin learning how to speak Spanish after choosing Hispanic or Hispanic/other racial/cultural backgrounds as one of your preferences? I spoke nearly fluent Spanish in high school and although I can still communicate somewhat, there's a lot of room for improvement. Now would be a good time to start learning, before the whirlwind of everything else starts. I know this is a benefit in teaching a child as they're growing up, but has it also proven beneficial in speaking with expectant parents during the match phase and beyond? Thanks for your insight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicandRaj Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 Did anyone begin learning how to speak Spanish after choosing Hispanic or Hispanic/other racial/cultural backgrounds as one of your preferences? I spoke nearly fluent Spanish in high school and although I can still communicate somewhat, there's a lot of room for improvement. Now would be a good time to start learning, before the whirlwind of everything else starts. I know this is a benefit in teaching a child as they're growing up, but has it also proven beneficial in speaking with expectant parents during the match phase and beyond? Thanks for your insight! Hi Melissa and Steven, I, too, was nearly fluent in Spanish in high school and early college, but it's true that it's "use it or lose it" and I've lost a lot of it. My husband never took Spanish in school so he's going to learn and I'm planning to brush up using Rosetta Stone. It was highly recommended by a friend who is learning one of the Filipino languages, as his wife is Filipino American. Good luck! ~Nicole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erin Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 Hi Melissa, I think it's a wonderful idea and can only help you! I had four years of Spanish in high school and after that barely used it at all... until we began sponsoring a child in Guatemala in 2005 and wanted to write letters to our sponsor child that the organization wouldn’t have to translate. Then we visited Guatemala a couple times and ended up living there for almost two years, so my Spanish improved a lot. I still wouldn’t describe myself as fluent, because I really have to concentrate when hearing Spanish on the phone... There are no non-verbal contextual clues or lips to read! Listening on the radio can be hard for the same reason. But I can certainly hold my own in person or in letters/emails. I think it will be a great benefit for you to be able to speak to birth families in Spanish, because it demonstrates your commitment to the culture and also shows that you’re making an effort to make them comfortable and respect their native language. Beyond that I can’t offer insight into whether it’s helped people be matched, because we’ve never done a domestic adoption. We’re hoping to change that soon, though! Erin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S&P Express Posted February 24, 2010 Report Share Posted February 24, 2010 Hi Melissa, I think it's a wonderful idea and can only help you! I had four years of Spanish in high school and after that barely used it at all... until we began sponsoring a child in Guatemala in 2005 and wanted to write letters to our sponsor child that the organization wouldn't have to translate. Then we visited Guatemala a couple times and ended up living there for almost two years, so my Spanish improved a lot. I still wouldn't describe myself as fluent, because I really have to concentrate when hearing Spanish on the phone... There are no non-verbal contextual clues or lips to read! Listening on the radio can be hard for the same reason. But I can certainly hold my own in person or in letters/emails. I think it will be a great benefit for you to be able to speak to birth families in Spanish, because it demonstrates your commitment to the culture and also shows that you're making an effort to make them comfortable and respect their native language. Beyond that I can't offer insight into whether it's helped people be matched, because we've never done a domestic adoption. We're hoping to change that soon, though! Erin Erin, Remember the family maybe Hispanic but they may not speak Spanish. I know this happened with our Birth Parents, they new a few words but that was it. Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erin Posted February 24, 2010 Report Share Posted February 24, 2010 Definitely, it wouldn't do a lot of good if they didn't speak Spanish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 We have a road trip coming up to celebrate my niece's 1st birthday and I want to make the most of my time in the car (and my time waiting to hear back about our inquiry!) by downloading a book about open adoptions to read. Does anyone have any suggestions for what book helped them the most? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieR Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 I read The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Ruskai Melina. I haven't actually finished it because it broken in to stages of the process. It first talks in general about open adoption but then gets in to specifics about building your relationship after a match, birth and placement. I took a lot of the advice to heart and used what I learned in building our relationship with Andrea and how to handle things at the birth. It was so important for us to treat Andrea with respect as an individual not just as the potential birth mother of our son. I found the advice to be invaluable. You have reminded me that I need to read part 4 which starts with the first year after placement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziandben Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 "dear birthmother" is another one. i read that one in between baby 1 and baby 2 (both open adoptions) and found it to be old news at that point for me but kicked myself for not reading it 5 years prior when we started our 1st adoption journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suebee Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 Melissa, I have both these books and many others that you are welcome to borrow. Don't think I could get them to you before your trip, but could certainly try to meet up with at some point later. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 Melissa, I have both these books and many others that you are welcome to borrow. Don't think I could get them to you before your trip, but could certainly try to meet up with at some point later. Susan Thanks, Susan! I ended up zoning out for the 5-hour car trip, so I doubt I would have successfully read (and retained) anything anyway! My folks live in OB, too, so I'll PM you when I get back home and meet up with you whenever it's convenient for you. I REALLY appreciate you letting me borrow these books! Excited to meet you as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Wahoo! We received our application in the mail today and are climbing this mountain of paperwork tonight. So excited to move on to the next step toward growing our family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suziandben Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Wahoo! We received our application in the mail today and are climbing this mountain of paperwork tonight. So excited to move on to the next step toward growing our family! very exciting!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPJ Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Yipeeee!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissamerritt Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Great news Melissa! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieR Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 That's exciting Melissa. Boy do I remember the excitment of each step in this process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erin Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Congratulations, Steven and Melissa - We got our application in the mail yesterday too! I had jury duty today, so I while I was sitting around, I started working on the essay questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRACEB Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Congratulations Steven & Melissa and Erin (and family) on starting another step of building your family. Blessings, Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erin Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Forgot to mention - The packet stated that the next orientation is for childless couples only, so it looks like our next opportunity is the August orientation. John asked if I was disappointed, but I'm ok with it - I'm just looking at it as more time to save up money for the adoption! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissamerritt Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Yay Erin!!! Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven&Melissa Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Erin - I'm so glad you got your application, too! Hope your time at jury duty is passing quickly with essay questions to answer during downtime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPJ Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Yeh Erin!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tara&eric Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Very excited for you, Melissa and Erin!! Just like Leslie, I too remember the excitement of each step, and it was right around this time two years ago that we were filling out our application, and I swear I was literally floating on air! Enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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