Jump to content

INQUIRY


Guest Julie&Rick

Recommended Posts

the REAL fun begins with two! LOL

Meanwhile...did anyone do anything to prepare for having two versus one? I find myself being SO excited but then a little part of me is scared...will it be too much? Will it make me too busy for my kids?

Amen!

We didn't have time to prepare ourselves for #2, much less prepare Arianna, so I can't help you there, but I will say that there is more than twice the work with two children. One of the biggest issues was sleep in the beginning. Arianna was 15 months when Nichole was placed, so she was on a toddler schedule when Nichole was eating every two to three hours. I was up all night and all day for several weeks, so that would be the main thing I would prepare for. If you can have someone that is willing to watch your children so you can take a nap...priceless!

Good luck and please do enjoy spending time with your son (not that you wouldn't otherwise). There is very little jealousy with our children at this point, they are fascinated by one another and I hope that once Nichole starts crawling, they will be able to play together more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 554
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

How long does it typically take to here back after you have sent your inquiry in? I probably sound like a moron asking this, but I am so excited and can't wait to be a daddy.

Mark

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to all of you who have commented. In my initial post, if I implied that we were looking for a specific child (race, health, etc.), then I apologize. We did not enter this process lightly. We carefully considered a number of different options that would allow us to become parents again. We both agreed that adoption was the right course of action for us and James, being adopted himself, was in a unique position to understand a number of concerns and issues a birth parent and, then subsequently, a child, would have. Based on a number of factors, including some of the issues James faced, he was honest enough to admit that he had some limitations. Our mistake was not being clear enough on what we were open for in a child. I think all of us understand that there is always a risk when a child is born; none of us (biological or adoptive parents) can predict the future or health of the child. We are willing to take that chance. However, the other hurdle James and I face is that we have one biological child and, to be frank, it surprised me how detrimental that can be in the adoption process. For many reasons and out of respect for the work Abrazo does, I will not comment further on this issue in the forum.

What I will say is that I did call today and had a very candid conversation. While the comments I heard were definitely not what I wanted to hear, I appreciated that person's honesty based on her perceptions and experience. So, now we are starting back at the beginning. Even if we changed our preferences, which is what I wanted to do, we would still not be accepted at this point by Abrazo due in part because we have a biological child; also, there are only so many families they can help at one time, which I truly do understand. If I am honest, it is a bitter pill to swallow to acknowledge we are not one of those families. Please do not take these comments as me being negative about Abrazo. These ladies have a very tough job and I don't know if I could do it! Now, I have to reflect and determine our next steps.

Erin and James,

I am sorry that you did not get the answers that you wanted. I realize even though you understand where the agency is coming from it is still a hard to hear when you have your heart set on something. I know we started our adoption process 3 1/2 years ago we were looking into a local agency and even filled out the application but we were drawn to Abrazo. At the time I wasn't sure why but the feelings were very strong and I knew this was the direction we needed to. At the time we parenting twin biological boys and where worried that it would not work out for us. It just so happened that our "timing" was right because we were able to proceed with the adoption process. We were the last to place in our group but we were also matched for a long time. My son's birthmother liked the fact that we where parenting and it did not matter to her that they were biological. Now if we had started our process at any other time there would have been a good chance we would not have able to proceed. We feel strongly that this was God's plans for our family to add our son and his birthfamily. I know I have been disappointed so many times because I thought is was right time for us to have another child. Once I held my son for the first time it became clear that wasn't because the time was now. I am sure everything will work out for you when the is time is right. I hope your reflecting provides you the answers you need.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How long does it typically take to here back after you have sent your inquiry in? I probably sound like a moron asking this, but I am so excited and can't wait to be a daddy.

Your inquiry arrived in yesterday's mail-- give us 2 weeks or so, and you should be hearing something from Angela! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm wondering how much of a chance we'd have of getting into the full program. We are 36 and 41 and meet the three basic crieteria. We hope to adopt our foster son in the next several months. We also have a son adopted from Guatemala and we would like to adopt a fully Hispanic infant so our son is not the only non-Anglo person in our family. Our boys are currently 22mo and 16 mo and we wouldn't be starting the process until this fall when our youngest has been home for a year.

Thanks,

H

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was kind of wondering the same thing as "H". How many inquiries does Abrazo average a month? On average how many of those families are invited to an orientation?? I realize each inquiry is judged on it's own "fit" for Abrazo so you may not have an average. I was just curious!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our inquiry made it through and we recieved our application packet this last Thursday. We are now working on getting our application ready to send in. Hopefully we can get everything in order and get the application sent in later this week or early next week so we can hopeully get into the orientation in a few months.

Mark

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, so many inquiries lately....makes me remember our journey 2 1/2 yrs ago.

Best wishes to you all.

Going in w/ open eyes & hearts will lead to your child.....I know that our child found us that way ;).

xoxo, Amy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our inquiry made it through and we recieved our application packet this last Thursday. We are now working on getting our application ready to send in. Hopefully we can get everything in order and get the application sent in later this week or early next week so we can hopeully get into the orientation in a few months.

Mark

Congratulations on receiving your application, Mark! When you get your application completed, we'd love to see another post or two from you :) We look forward to following your journey!

Cathy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes...and my advice, as always....COPY everything and TRACK everything! Ours got lost in the mail FOREVER!! I had to complete that LONG application again....and then it arrived a week later!! I could have just faxed in the original if I had made a copy!!

Craziness! Have fun!

Julie

p.s. I have to say, however....it sure was LOTS quicker to fill it out the second time around! ;)

Edited by julieandjonathan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our inquiry made it through and we recieved our application packet this last Thursday. We are now working on getting our application ready to send in. Hopefully we can get everything in order and get the application sent in later this week or early next week so we can hopeully get into the orientation in a few months.

Mark

Congratulations Mark (and Erin)! I understand the anticipation and excitement. That is natural and a great feeling. You are taking the next step towards creating the family you have dreamed about. So, Take your time filling it out (within reason ;) of course) as some of those questions can be thought provoking and may have you thinking just a bit deeper on a subject (or perhaps you've already addressed every possible option and you know exactly what you want to say in the application).

I think I remember my hand cramping a few times to get it all down on paper :lol: Ah, good times :)

If you are accepted to an Abrazo Orientation group, it'll be a great way to find out if Abrazo is right for you and you right for their program and then you'll be on your way to being a larger family before you know it! Abrazo Orientation is a fantastic weekend which will have you forming lifelong friendships and will give you a great introduction into what Open adoption is and should be :) There may be a few surprises that weekend too ;):lol:

Whatever the outcome, may your journey to parenthood be blessed...

Best wishes to you both,

Adam

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When is the next orientation?? May? Boy! Time flies!!

Julie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*forcefully uncramping hand from tight fist* So I'm about 3/4 of the way done with the inquiry. LOL!! I have been taking my time....but still...that "why adopt" question still gets me (even after doing this once before!!)

I'm going to try to finish the inquiry then work on all the additionals (W2's, health insuranc, etc etc). This is more fun for me now considering I am more patient!! I love that we aren't rushed (since we have another month....which to me, who likes to get everything done in an hour, isn't rushed). We are still trying to decide if we are gong to orientation....we would love to go but are not sure we can afford it....though we could just drive....but plus June's is for only childless couples.

I do have a question....if I have references....can I use a couple that we are friends with as two references? I'm having a little trouble with the third reference as we really haven't known a third couple very long (or very well). Is it okay to use references who you have known about a year?

Other than that...I'm really getting excited about going through everything again. Funny...I thought I would be scared....and NOT looking forward to it because of the emotions...but I am!! how CRAzy am I??? Maybe it will hit me once we send off this inquiry.....

How is everyone else doing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*forcefully uncramping hand from tight fist* So I'm about 3/4 of the way done with the inquiry. LOL!! I have been taking my time....but still...that "why adopt" question still gets me (even after doing this once before!!)

I'm going to try to finish the inquiry then work on all the additionals (W2's, health insuranc, etc etc). This is more fun for me now considering I am more patient!! I love that we aren't rushed (since we have another month....which to me, who likes to get everything done in an hour, isn't rushed). We are still trying to decide if we are gong to orientation....we would love to go but are not sure we can afford it....though we could just drive....but plus June's is for only childless couples.

I do have a question....if I have references....can I use a couple that we are friends with as two references? I'm having a little trouble with the third reference as we really haven't known a third couple very long (or very well). Is it okay to use references who you have known about a year?

Other than that...I'm really getting excited about going through everything again. Funny...I thought I would be scared....and NOT looking forward to it because of the emotions...but I am!! how CRAzy am I??? Maybe it will hit me once we send off this inquiry.....

How is everyone else doing?

So...the next orientation must be in June?? Fun!

One thing I wish I had known before we got to orientation was that we could have already begun our homestudy!! That is what held us up for so long! We could have been matched earlier if our paperwork had been finished! And ALL of the paperwork left could have been finished before we attended orientation!!

And, I am assuming that you all know that Orientation is required.....But it is the best thing ever!! There have been so many times that we have looked at each other and said, "I'm glad they warned us about this at orientation!!" It really was an invaluable experience!

And, really....the hand-cramping is the worst at this stage!! You'll soon develop incredibly strong muscles!! :) TeeHee!

Julie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So...the next orientation must be in June?? Fun!

One thing I wish I had known before we got to orientation was that we could have already begun our homestudy!! That is what held us up for so long! We could have been matched earlier if our paperwork had been finished! And ALL of the paperwork left could have been finished before we attended orientation!!

I haven't heard when the next orientation is scheduled, Julie but I know there was one held the first of June 2007.

After we attended orientation, I was with you in wishing we had started our homestudy ahead of time. Several people here on the Forum tried to convince me to do that, but I was hesistent and didn't want to jinx anything. In the end it worked out for us with us getting Ms. Josie :) However; if I had to do it all over again in attending an orientation, I would definately start on the homestudy ahead of time :rolleyes:

Cathy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

we didn't start the home visits part of our actual home study before our august orientation last year, but we did take the advice of others here and went ahead and picked an agency to do the home study and we sent off all of our requests to the FBI and state for background criminal checks. I had heard that those could take a long time to come in so I wanted to get those underway early. (In the end, the FBI was the fastest, just two weeks, but the state of California background checks for my husband took more than a month because they do it all by hand in the golden state and my husband's name is a common one there so they just took forever.) I also went ahead and sent off for official copies of our birth certificates, marriage certificates (and any past divorces, if that is applicable for anyone) and all of that.

we waited to do the home visits and such so that we'd have abrazo's requirements in hand and the home study would be done to their specifications.

our orientation was late august and our final home study visit was something like sept. 24 and the report sent off soon afterward. so it didn't take long once we had all of our paperwork in order.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So for all those againers...did you wait to do your homestudy update until you were aware of placement?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The way we were encouraged as againers was that if possible wait to do the homestudy update within the estimated 30 day window before placement would occur. Of course I don't know how this would work if you are faced with a BOG scenario.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never received any response to my post on the last page. Could someone answer?

I'm wondering how much of a chance we'd have of getting into the full program. We are 36 and 41 and meet the three basic crieteria. We hope to adopt our foster son in the next several months. We also have a son adopted from Guatemala and we would like to adopt a fully Hispanic infant so our son is not the only non-Anglo person in our family. Our boys are currently 22mo and 16 mo and we wouldn't be starting the process until this fall when our youngest has been home for a year.

Thanks,

H

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never received any response to my post on the last page. Could someone answer?

I'm wondering how much of a chance we'd have of getting into the full program. We are 36 and 41 and meet the three basic crieteria. We hope to adopt our foster son in the next several months. We also have a son adopted from Guatemala and we would like to adopt a fully Hispanic infant so our son is not the only non-Anglo person in our family. Our boys are currently 22mo and 16 mo and we wouldn't be starting the process until this fall when our youngest has been home for a year.

Thanks,

H

The best advice i would give is to call Abrazo and talk to them...or send in an initial inquiry. I know they have limited space for people with children already. Good luck!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is probably a good question for someone smarter than me.....but I hate that you have been left hanging!! :)

If you meet the criteria...I would guess you would be accepted. I am not sure how it will work with the other adoption being so close at hand....but Abrazo is always looking for folks excited about adoption a sweet full-Hispanic Abrazo-baby!

Best wishes!! My advice would be to fill out the inquiry, and let Abrazo tell you officially!!

Glad you are on the forum!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never received any response to my post on the last page. Could someone answer?

I'm wondering how much of a chance we'd have of getting into the full program. We are 36 and 41 and meet the three basic crieteria. We hope to adopt our foster son in the next several months. We also have a son adopted from Guatemala and we would like to adopt a fully Hispanic infant so our son is not the only non-Anglo person in our family. Our boys are currently 22mo and 16 mo and we wouldn't be starting the process until this fall when our youngest has been home for a year.

Thanks,

H

This really is a question that you need to ask Abrazo. I would give Angela a call to speak to her about your individual case. Best of luck and welcome!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never received any response to my post on the last page. Could someone answer?

I'm wondering how much of a chance we'd have of getting into the full program. We are 36 and 41 and meet the three basic crieteria. We hope to adopt our foster son in the next several months. We also have a son adopted from Guatemala and we would like to adopt a fully Hispanic infant so our son is not the only non-Anglo person in our family. Our boys are currently 22mo and 16 mo and we wouldn't be starting the process until this fall when our youngest has been home for a year.

Thanks,

H

I think the reason your question has gone unanswered by those of us who would usually respond quicker...is because there has been much discussion all over this forum (recently) about adopters coming to the adoption process with certain defined expectations ie: wanting a full hispanic infant, etc. However I think if your preferences are also open to "other than" then your chances of acceptance will be greater. Good luck.

Karen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...