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Honoring Birth Siblings


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Thanks Laural! I just sent it to the twins' birthsibling. He is only 7 and is saying things like "I don't want to be adopted too". Maybe this will help him understand better. I am open to any other ideas on what we might do from our end to foster this relationship as well!

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Thanks Laural! I just sent it to the twins' birthsibling. He is only 7 and is saying things like "I don't want to be adopted too". Maybe this will help him understand better. I am open to any other ideas on what we might do from our end to foster this relationship as well!

Julie,

I'm thinking of "C," and hoping he will adjust over time. I know "T" was extremely concerned about him when she was carrying your not-so-little ones :)

Cathy

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thanks Laural! I just sent it to the twins' birthsibling. He is only 7 and is saying things like "I don't want to be adopted too". Maybe this will help him understand better. I am open to any other ideas on what we might do from our end to foster this relationship as well!

Julie,

I'm thinking of "C," and hoping he will adjust over time. I know "T" was extremely concerned about him when she was carrying your not-so-little ones :)

Cathy

Thanks Cathy! I just saw this posting. We hope to meet him someday soon to start building the relationship between the kids.

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  • 2 years later...

This week Joshua is at a Christian camp with a group from our church. One of the cool things is that in talking with his bio-sister a few months ago, he discovered that she was going to the same camp with her church...just during different weeks. They haven't met in person yet (hope to remedy that soon...long story, but she just found out about Joshua about 8 months ago), and I'm not sure at camp away from their parents would be the best way/time to meet, but I think it is great that they will have this experience in common and be able to relate when they tell each other about what they did at camp!

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(hope to remedy that soon...long story, but she just found out about Joshua about 8 months ago), and I'm not sure at camp away from their parents would be the best way/time to meet

Susan - I would LOVE to hear more about this at some point. We know Oliver has three half birth siblings out there somewhere and I dream of them maybe meeting some day. I can't imagine how old he may be when it finally happens, but I'm so intrigued by these relationships that are discovered/developed later in a child's life. Is this a sibling you knew about, but the birth sister just didn't know about Joshua? I'm prying, I know, so please just tell me if this is something you'd rather not share!! I would just love for Oliver to have the opportunity for this relationship some day if possible.

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You're not prying at all. Joshua knew about her (age 12) and her brother (age 14), but they did not know about him until recently. I will fill you in at the picnic.

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  • 4 months later...

I am so thankful for the relationship that is forming with Andrew's birthsisters, E and A. They have started to feel comfortable contacting us on their own. Sometimes it is something like sending a silly picture of celery that they made into a flower and sometimes it is just asking me to give a kiss to their little brother for them. I am so thankful in this case for the openess and freedom they feel in the relationship.

We are trying to think of some cute Christmas gifts. I just talked to M and she laughed because they are having a hard enough time figuring out what to get them... all they want is cash, gift cards and electronics (all obviously no no's for us!)

A likes crafts a lot so we were thinking to get her a cute scrapbook and some supplies like the paper and stickers and a ton of photos so that she could craft her own book. Bonus she loves monkeys and I saw a sock monkey scrapbook that was adorable!

For E we found out from M that her room is black and white with pink. So we are going to try to make some kind of framed picture that would include his pic and handprints or something like that to go in her room.

I have been scouring Pinterest looking for some cute ideas and have found some. I also got some things to make some cute ornaments. Now where is the time to make all this stuff??!??! :P

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  • 6 months later...

You're not prying at all. Joshua knew about her (age 12) and her brother (age 14), but they did not know about him until recently. I will fill you in at the picnic.

This past weekend, we had the awesome experience of meeting Joshua's brother and sister (on his birthfather's side) and their mom. (They are now 15 and 13). They are such great kids, and we had a wonderful time meeting at Hot Springs, AR. We went to Magic Springs/Crystal Falls, ate lots of good food, played miniature golf, and explored historic Hot Springs together. We all agreed that it was just the beginning of many more fun times we hope to spend together.

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Sue, What Great News!! Sounds like an awesome weekend! What a wonderful BEGINNING!! :wub:

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You're not prying at all. Joshua knew about her (age 12) and her brother (age 14), but they did not know about him until recently. I will fill you in at the picnic.

This past weekend, we had the awesome experience of meeting Joshua's brother and sister (on his birthfather's side) and their mom. (They are now 15 and 13). They are such great kids, and we had a wonderful time meeting at Hot Springs, AR. We went to Magic Springs/Crystal Falls, ate lots of good food, played miniature golf, and explored historic Hot Springs together. We all agreed that it was just the beginning of many more fun times we hope to spend together.

What wonderful news. Sounds like the weekend was great.

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What wonderful news, Sue! I know it meant so much to me when we were able to meet Joseph's sisters last month - doesn't it feel like such a wonderful beginning?!

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Susan... so happy to hear you were all able to get together! I'd love to hear how Joshua felt before and after the visit. I know there are many of us on the forum who have children with birthsiblings they may or may not be able to meet while they're young, but I know most of us hope and pray this might happen. I'm also interested to hear how you felt... were you able to see Joshua's features, manorisms, etc. in his birth brother and sister?

Really glad this was possible!!

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Well, I unexpectantly teared up when I introduced Joshua to Jerrod and Mikayla. We met at Magic Springs in AR, and I was on the phone with their mom trying to get her to where we were in the park, so I saw them first. I think it was the sweet look on Jerrod and Mikayla's face when they saw Joshua that made me so emotional. They have not always known about Joshua, but they have totally accepted him.

All were a little shy at first. Joshua naturally is when he first meets people. Apparently they have that in common! But an amusement/water park was a great place for them to meet at this age, because it gave them a chance to relax and just enjoy hanging out together. For those who know Lydia, you know she was also a great icebreaker! She rarely meets a stranger.

Their mom told me they were all nervous about meeting us. Joshua said he wasn't nervous, which I believe. He was extremely excited and very glad they got to meet. (They had only sent letters and texted before this weekend.) Joshua truly is a kid that feels like the bigger his family, the better. He has so many people who love him, and what we say at Abrazo is true, "You can never have too much love."

I think Joshua definitely favors both Jerrod and Mikayla...probably Mikayla more. I'll try to post a picture later. Jerrod is in band, and Joshua is going to be in band when he starts Middle School in the fall. He wants to play drums, but I would love it if he plays the trumpet like Jerrod. Both love to watch/play football although they disagree on their favorite teams! :) Jerrod is very loving to his sister, and I definitely see those traits in Joshua. Of course, they have their moments, and Jerrod and Mikayla's mom assured me they have theirs as well!

I honestly could not have asked for the weekend to go better. My main concern was that Joshua would have fun, and that J and M would be sweet to him. They definitely were. And they are great kids!

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  • 1 year later...

I would love some input! We have a very special birth sister graduating high school next month! I know the normal graduation gifts are money or gift cards... but since (as I understand) they are off the table... any ideas for a high school graduate? We will be visiting next month but we'd like to get her something tangible for this huge accomplishment!

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Maybe a nice journal and a pen engraved with her initials?

My Aunt gave me a journal when I graduated and I loved it.

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Is she going off to college or leaving home? There's a fun book that's received and that I got for my goddaughter when she graduated - I'll have to see if I can find the exact title but it's something to the effect of what to do when you're away from mom with the basics on food prep/laundry/etc. all the little tips moms try to give before you leave but maybe they didn't sink in ;-)

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She is heading to Baylor, which I believe is several hours from where they live! I would love the title if you find it! I did buy one cute book of inspirational quotes. It is just a huge deal she is taking this step so we want to do something! Just so hard thinking out of the money-for-graduation box!

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I always like receiving jewelry gifts. Maybe something like a necklace or bracelet that she can wear and always remember the love your family has for her. Nothing extravagant, but something special at the same time. Maybe something with green in it since she is off to Baylor......what a great school she will be attending!

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Such good ideas here.. Personally love the jewelry..

Wanted to share another idea, when my daughter finished high school her principal gave her a basket that contained paper clips, rubber band ball, note cards, binder dividers, tabs, sharpie, and a few other things that I can't remember.. But they were all things she would need and use in college..

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