granny to soon

[Guest Momof Lori]

i never thought it happen to my little girl. i got pregnant when i was her age. so all her life i warned her  not to make mistakes like me. i did my best to raise her but not enuff i guess. it 's not easy to be a mom too young. her dad he did not stick around. all my family promised hekp but didnt come thru, got tired, told me buck up, tkae responsibilty for myself. i tried god knows I did. but we didnt have money for food sometimes. stayed with lots of friends. moved here/there alot. i thot i knew it all then but  no one tells you how hard it is.  i told her wait on sex but she got pregannt anyway. at first she wanted to keep it and i was mad. she wanted me to  raise her kid but i coudnt do that. i thot she should abort. i know it sounds bad. but  to late anyway. then she wanted to give the baby up. i got madder then. our relatives all blamed me. i blamed her.  i wanted her to suffer for being careless. i am sorry to say i didnt back her up. i was scared itd hurt to see her baby b-4 she gave it away. she met the couple but i didnt. i worried theyd forget once theyd got what they wanted, well they didnt. she still gets pix + phone calls. it makes her happy and i am glad. i couldnt tell her then. but i am proud of her now.  it wasnt easy to go thru . not for me or her. but i love her that she did what was right after all

[Guest christophersmom]

Dear momof Lori,

As you told your story, I heard so much insight and wisdom.  I could hear your pain, but also your hope.  Your daughter did a brave thing, but you did, too. She is blessed to have someone who can come through such a time with as much understanding as you have.

[Guest Momof Lori]

just a question. i want to send a b-day card to the baby. but i dont know if the parents would get mad.i never met  them. i wish now i did. i dont know what they thot. if i hated them? i didnt.   i just didnt like what lori had to go thru for them + the baby cuz the dad didnt do his part. it wasnt the babys fault tho.  is it to late to make up for that now i wonder ?

[twoirish]

Dear momoflori,

I'm sure they would love it you sent a card to the baby. I am an adoptive parent and I understand how hard it must be to give up a child or a grandchild. So I'm sure they know that it is nothing personal towards them that you didn't meet them, and that you were just hurting at the time. I think the card is a great idea! I think it would be a special keepsake for the baby. I think he or she would love to know their birthgrandmother.

[suebee]

I agree with twoirish...I think it's a great idea to send a card to the baby. We have just begun to develop a relationship with the birth grandmother of our son through phone calls, and we welcome that! After all, we love the same people...her daughter (our son's birthmom) and our son (her birthgrandson). I'm sure they understand it was a very hard time for you, and I don't think it's ever too late to begin that relationship.

(Edited by suebee at 87 pm on Aug. 18, 2001)

[jfmommy]

Dear MOMOFLORI,

I think sending a card is a wonderful idea.  Just remember that there is no such thing as too much love.  This child will be lucky to have so many loving people in his or her life.

[Guest Momof Lori]

jusst want to say you all were so nice to write back. i did the b-day card. and the parents wrote me a 4real nice note. with pix!!!!! the baby is so BIG all ready!  good looking kid! ha!   lori had a hard time. she cried a lot all weekendd. (it being one year and all.)but she feels better now. i still feel proud she did what she did. thank you for all your advise here.