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Baby Step: Start-Up Advice for Newbies


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Hi Susan! Welcome to Abrazo's forumland. My husband and I cannot speak more highly of Abrazo. We believe they are the best around. We took placement of our precious baby girl in October of this year - three months from attending Abrazo's orientation. Having your homestudy complete prior to their orientation is definitely a plus but not required. The only other thing is to send in the pre-application found on their websight and then they will send you the application. You will then attend one of their orientation weekends which are well worth the time, trip, and money. Then the fun begins! biggrin.gif

There are some topics in the "Looking to Adopt" section that may be helpful.

Edited by MarkLaurie
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Susan,

You have come to right place to have any questions answered!! We haven't matched yet, but I still think Abrazo is the best. It is the only agency that we even spoke with and everything has seemed right from the very first phone call. I am sure that any question you have can be answered. I did a lot of searching and looking around on the forum trying to find answers to questions that I had when we first started. Don't hesitate to call the Abrazo gals either. They are all so helpful and willilng to talk with you.

God will work everything out for you!!

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Susan,

My husband and I are adopting again through Abrazo. We live in Texas and looked around at other agencies and decided to go with Abrazo because because their wait time wasn't as long and they were in the middle as far as money goes. My best advice to you at this time is to pick up the phone and give them a call. They can tell you everything you need to know. Have list of question for them so you won't forget anything you wanted to ask. Also, check out the "looking to adopt" section as Laurie said. Good Luck and be sure to let us know what you decide.

Jan

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Hi Susan,

I adopted my son three years ago in October with the excellent, highly professional assistance of Abrazo. I cannot tell you what wonderful and amazing ladies the agency employs and the founder, well, let's just say she is definitely a gift from God to the adoption world.

The only thing that no one has mentioned is that Abrazo works with individuals who have documented infertility. All you need to do is have your physician fill out some forms and write a letter to the effect of that and you'll be on your way.

I made my first phone call to Abrazo, to get some questions answered, in June of 2002 and my son came home with me Oct. 2, 2002. I highly recommend Abrazo and think if you continue to research and talk to them, you will see that they are the best around.

Good luck!

Jean

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Susan,

Just wanted to give you a reference from another perspective. We are currently parents in waiting with no children at this time. We were in the July orientation group, and as a couple who has not placed "super quickly" (by Abrazo standards) I would like to say I have every confidence in the ladies at Abrazo. A week ago I drove to San Antonio to talk to a staff member about a descision we were struggling with. Upon my arrival I learned the ladies were dealing with a really serious issue that day but Angela still made time later in the afternoon to see me. These ladies DO NOT have a 9-5 job. Last weekend Renee called me several times in the middle of taking several birthmoms to the movies. When do they relax? I have no idea!

Anyway, in my opinion Abrazo is the ONLY way to go! Jason and I could have never gone through this process with ANY other agency. These ladies are professional and compassionate above and beyond anything I have ever wittnessed! There may be other agencies similar out there, I can't say but I can tell you with confidence that You will not regret going with Abrazo. These are the biggest descisions my husband and I will ever make, EVER, and I am so glad to have Godly, loving women on my team.

Just my two cents! Hope to hear more from you! Kristen

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Susan,

How wonderful for you that you are starting another adoption! As you already know, it is an exciting, hectic, and absolutely wonderful time.

Domestic adoption isn't quite as complicated as international adoption - you only have to have 1,000 pounds of paperwork instead of 10,000! LOL

You ask what you can do while you are in the planning stages:

Go ahead with your homestudy. Maybe you will be finished well ahead of time and that will be one less hassle to worry about.

Since you already have an almost 3-year-old, your home is probably already baby-safe - but if it isn't go ahead and start with all the safety stuff. In Tennessee we had to have all safety gear in place before our homestudy could be complete. That included having things almost everyone has like smoke alarms and electrical outlet protectors as well as some things we didn't have yet like drawer and cabinet locks (we thought we could wait until we had the baby home to get those things - we couldn't) and some things we just didn't own - like a fire extinguisher.

The child abuse registry checks and other background checks are usually the things that take the longest in a domestic adoption - at least that has been my experience. Also, fitting in with the social worker's case load can sometimes be tricky if you get an unexpected match and are trying to hurry the process along.

I'm in the midst of a placement myself, so there are probably things I am forgetting to mention. Maybe some of the other members can pick up where I am leaving off. Also there are some other topics on the forum on what to do while waiting - they have some good suggestions there.

Abrazo is a wonderful agency and if you choose to work with them I feel certain you will be pleased. And if you decide to go with another agency, I think you will find that this forum is still a great place to get information and support.

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Hi Susan,

We were due to go to orientation in July and matched with another agency 3 weeks before the orientation weekend. The ladies at Abrazo were awesome to talk to and always have great advice. I know when we go for our second we will be travelling to Texas. We to live in NC actually we live in Fayetteville. Good luck on your journey, I don't think you can go wrong choosing Abrazo.

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  • 2 months later...

I thought I would start a list for those looking to start the adoption process and wondering how it is done. I hope all the "been there done that" crowd will add their two cents and please correct me if I got it wrong somewhere.

The writing in red are my recommendations but are not mandatory.

Research options for adoption

Educate yourself on open adoption

Ask yourself the tough questions about if you have dealt with infertility issues (many participate in counseling or support groups)1. Fill out and mail in Abrazo's initial inquiry with inquiry fee (downloadable from web page)

2. Several weeks later, Abrazo will send you a letter and their application form.

3. Fill out and return application with application fee.

4. Sign up for and attend one of Abrazo's awesome orientation weekends.

Start the homestudy (make sure you get Abrazo's homestudy requirements)

5. Upon returning home from orientation, complete paperwork provided at orientation, send in first half of agency fee, and develop family profile pages that are shown to birthparents.

Get the nursery ready

6. If you haven't completed your homestudy, complete your homestudy according to Abrazo's guidelines.

7. Abrazo will start contacting you to speak with birthparents by phone.

8. Birthparent selects you for a "match".

9. You recieve information about birthparent and choose to "match" or not.

10. Continue contact with the birthparents as possible.

11. Baby Arrives!!!

12. Upon relinquishment of parental rights (not to occur less than 48 hours after birth), you then complete paperwork to take "placement" of your precious child.

Continue to facilitate a relationship with the birthparents

13. Complete monthly reports to Abrazo that include letter to birthparents and pictures.

14. Approximately 6 -12 months later, Abrazo will contact you for "finalization" of the adoption!!!!

15. Complete Annual reports to Abrazo.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Just wanted to post a link here from Adoptive Families Magazine (in case anyone has found this website and is just starting to research Domestic Adoption - this is a great overview and it also has some links to online articles from their magazine as well as book recommendations.

Domestic Adoption Overview - Adoptive Families Magazine

Lisa

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  • 1 month later...

Hi,

I hope I am doing this right. LOL

My husband and I are new to this Abrazo and this forum. We are going to mail in our pre-app tomorrow and we are so excited. I hope we get accepted. We have heard and seen wonderful things about this agency.

Never in my life could I have imagined that I would be 41 and without a child but recently I have come to terms with this. I now know there is a different path that God has for us and it is to adopt a child.

We have been trying to have a child for the past 5 yrs and this past Christmas was the end of trying for me. I want to see a little person in my house. I am tried of crying all the time about not having my own child. Tired of seeing everyone around have children and being asked when we were going to have kids because we were getting too old to have them. I know that people say things they dont mean but they still hurt sometimes.

We have been so confussed on where we should be going to adopt? We went from Domestic to International and just went back and forth. We live in Michigan and it scared us to adopt from here so that was pushing us into International. We were going to go to China but our hearts were not there.

For the last 2 yrs through all different contacts we have been pull to explore adopting either in Utah or New Mexico. So I started to go that route a few months ago and then was directed to Texas and to Abrazo. Well now we know where we are supposed to be and we believe it is here.

I have been reading the forum for days now and everyone single one of you in here are so special and loving. It is really a family of it's own. I want to be part of that family.

I dont even know any of you and you have all helped me out more then you will ever know with suggestions, stories, thoughts, compassion, understanding etc.

It is a good feeling to know you are not alone in this and that there is hope at the end.

I look forward to being a part of the excitement you are all in.

I cant wait to hold our baby. What a day that will be.

We welcome all the stress we are going to go through filling out papers and such because it will not at all compare to the stress we have been faced with the last several year of not having a child.

Let the Ride begin.

Gigi & Edwin

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Welcome to the world of Abrazo and it's wonderful Forum, Edwin and Gigi. I am one of the "oldies" on the Forum. We adopted our three children way back in 1994, we were in Abrazo's third or fourth orientation group. It is an amazing agency with an amazing staff and amazing clients. I come to this Forum every day and always take something away from my time on here. Hold on tight, this is the ride of a lifetime! Good luck and God Bless! wink.gif
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Welcome to the forum! I am so glad you found your way to Abrazo. They are a great bunch of girls!!

Can't wait to hear how your story unfolds!!

Keep us posted!!

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Welcome! The forum is full of fantastic folks who can offer a wide range of expertise and encouragement, whether your adoption ultimately happens at Abrazo or somewhere else.

There are, of course, many great adoption programs in Michigan (and Jim Gritter, the longtime miracle worker at Catholic Charities out of Traverse City is one of our very favorites!) If it was fear of openness that "scared you" away from adopting in Michigan, and propelled you from domestic adoption to international, you may want to revisit that issue! Because at Abrazo, of course, we are all about openness and honesty and ongoing post-adoption contact (and we wouldn't want to think that folks were seeking placement here simply because it was far enough from their homestate to eliminate the possibility of the birthparents playing any future role in their lives.) ohmy.gif

Do give some thought, as well, to doing some pre-orientation counseling with a licensed therapist in your area, because we find that the prospective families who come into our program having had some therapy tend to be much better prepared to handle the emotional rollercoaster, and we want our clients to be as well-equipped as possible for all the 'sturm und drang' that comes not only with adoption, but parenting, especially!

Best regards-- we look forward to learning more about you!

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Welcome to the forum and to "Abrazoland"!!

I consider myself one of the "oldies" also since it has been four years since we started our journey with Abrazo, but with Abrazo's help I am now the mother of a very active 3 year old!!

I can't wait to hear more of your journey to parenthood!

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Gigi and Edwin,

I am excited that you have found your way to Abrazo! You have found a unique agency. Everyone is so kind and it feels like a family of support. We are in the application process. So we are about at the same stage of the process. It will be fun to follow your story.

I met a couple on our vacation that told us their difficult journey with adoption. They have not had much luck so I gave them Abrazos internet address and hope they can follow their dreams.

Good luck and we cannot wait until you get your approval from Abrazo!

Heather

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Welcome to the forum and Abrazo,

I found this site to very helpful..full of the best information about adoption in general. My Advice -Read everything you will learn so much. I found this site after adopting my 1st son in California - and couldn't believe what I didn't know. And if I couldn't find it - just post a question and all the "forumites" will chime in.

Good luck no matter where this journey takes you!

Edited by HeidiK
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Dear Gigi and Edwin,

I was 41, childless, ten years in trying to have a child, one disrupted/failed adoption plan and then, a permanently disrupted marriage! I NEVER dreamed I'd be childless OR divorced. I tell you this only to say that you are NOT ALONE. There are lots of us (more "seasoned") individuals who have/had a dream of parenting that wasn't realized down "easy street". Ours was a journey of detours, twists, turns, and dead end alleys. If you are open to a child, then there is a child for you. Abrazo is a HUGE family and we are a HUGE force so look out. By posting here, you have just been encircled by many loving arms, lots of knowledge, and a whole lot of advice and comforting. Welcome and get all that paperwork in. Continue to read and research. Log on and join in the forum mania. Never stop dreaming because at Abrazo it's not if but when. And I am living proof.

Your "luck", or should I say life, is about to change.

Jean,

Nathan's Mommy

9/9/02

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Hi Gigi and Edwin,

It's good to see you on the forum. We can't wait to hear of your journey. I enjoyed talking with you yesterday and hope to meet with you soon. You are also invited to our Abrazo family picnic on August 23rd because you and Edwin are part of our Abrazo family! biggrin.gif

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Welcome!!!

Abrazo is truly a special place. We were with a different agency for over a year before we found Abrazo, and we have learned more from the Abrazo family in the past month then we ever learned from our first agency. We will be attending the Parents of Tomorrow weekend in July.

Be sure you read up on the open adoption experience. When we first began with Abrazo I had many reservations about open adoption, but after doing more research and most of all reading the wonderful stories from the fabulous people here on the forum, I am now a total supporter of it! It may not be for everyone, but knowledge is power!

Best of luck on your journey - wherever it may take you!

Colleen

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Colleen,

That's very good advice to "read up" on open adoption. So many things you hear about adoption in the media are just myths, etc. I think we read books until we were cross-eyed.

I have some friends that are in the throws of adoption, but refused to consider Abrazo because of "openness". They also refused to educate themselves about openness. Knowledge is power. I have found that it's way easier to say "no" to something such as "open adoption" if I'm not educated on the subject. (BTW, my friends started their adoption journey more than a year before me. They still don't have a baby. And they are using a very pricey agency that is "semi-open")

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