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JustMe

Follow your heart...

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Hi...I just wanted to let you know, that you are not alone in this decision to give your baby up for adoption...it is a very difficult and painful one to make..but you can get through this, for your baby you will get through it..Have faith..You are in my prayers, and keep your chin up, because there will be beautiful memories as well..cherish all that you have been given..and write in this forum...there are plenty Birthparents out here who can help to guide you throughout this difficult, yet beautiful journey..Best of Luck...K.T.

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Guest Gabbi

I saw  this a long time ago I didn't know what to do but it made me think about it all.I hope if this is what I do I can put together  words to help other girls too, I just like what you said here, Thanx!

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I found this quote by Carl Jung, one of the greatest psychotherapists of our time, and thought it was especially fitting on Mother's Day, when we remember of the loving choices made by the selfless birthparents I've known who wanted more for their children's lives as well as their own:

"The greatest tragedy of the family

is the unlived lives of the parents."

Dr. Carl Jung

What does this statement mean to you, Gentle Reader? Does it hold any truth for you?

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Follow your heart...that is so true. The second I held Baby Cliff, I knew that placing was going to be the right decision. My heart was overflowing with love for him and I knew that he deserved so much more than what I could give him. So many thoughts were running through my head though: Maybe you could raise this child, maybe everything would be alright, maybe I could be the mother that this precious boy needed. But those were maybes. My HEART was sure that I had to place. I knew that no matter how much I wanted to keep this baby, there was a family out there that he deserved and that deserved him.

My heart also knew that Cliff and Alison were that family. Their profile was awesome. Everything that I was looking for. When I walked into that Abrazo office to meet the parents of my baby, my heart was beating a thousand beats per second. But I knew the minute that we hugged and started talking that I had made the right decision. Although we didn't get to form the bond during my pregnancy....it started forming instantly, as soon as we met. I felt so comfortable with them. And as I sat with Baby Cliff waiting to take him to meet his parents after I had signed away my parental rights, I felt so awful, but so happy. I murmured sweet little nothings in his ear and told him how happy he would be with them. And when I placed Baby Cliff in Alison's arms, I looked at the three of them and felt peace with my decision. They were a family, they looked complete.

Now Baby Cliff is almost a month old, 3 more days to be exact. Alison, Cliff and I talk on a weekly basis and email back and forth. Our AP/BP relationship is growing stronger and stronger. Alison said it is a learning process for all three of us and I couldn't agree more. What's funny though is I thought there would be a hole in my heart the size of Baby Cliff, but that isn't the case. He will always be in my heart, and I gained two more people in my life that I love dearly. So in the end yes, I followed my heart and I wouldn't want it any other way. :D

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Follow your heart...that is so true. The second I held Baby Cliff, I knew that placing was going to be the right decision. My heart was overflowing with love for him and I knew that he deserved so much more than what I could give him. So many thoughts were running through my head though: Maybe you could raise this child, maybe everything would be alright, maybe I could be the mother that this precious boy needed. But those were maybes. My HEART was sure that I had to place. I knew that no matter how much I wanted to keep this baby, there was a family out there that he deserved and that deserved him.

My heart also knew that Cliff and Alison were that family. Their profile was awesome. Everything that I was looking for. When I walked into that Abrazo office to meet the parents of my baby, my heart was beating a thousand beats per second. But I knew the minute that we hugged and started talking that I had made the right decision. Although we didn't get to form the bond during my pregnancy....it started forming instantly, as soon as we met. I felt so comfortable with them. And as I sat with Baby Cliff waiting to take him to meet his parents after I had signed away my parental rights, I felt so awful, but so happy. I murmured sweet little nothings in his ear and told him how happy he would be with them. And when I placed Baby Cliff in Alison's arms, I looked at the three of them and felt peace with my decision. They were a family, they looked complete.

Now Baby Cliff is almost a month old, 3 more days to be exact. Alison, Cliff and I talk on a weekly basis and email back and forth. Our AP/BP relationship is growing stronger and stronger. Alison said it is a learning process for all three of us and I couldn't agree more. What's funny though is I thought there would be a hole in my heart the size of Baby Cliff, but that isn't the case. He will always be in my heart, and I gained two more people in my life that I love dearly. So in the end yes, I followed my heart and I wouldn't want it any other way. :D

What a beautiful tribute to your son and the parents you chose for him. He is a very blessed little fella to have three people who love him so dearly. Your strength and courage are inspiring. Thank you for posting! May God bless you with peace and comfort when your heart is breaking, and hope and joy for the days ahead with Alison, Cliff, and little Cliff. What a special family you all are!

Susan

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What a wonderful person you are! I can only imagine what you have felt. My heart goes out to you. We have two adopted daughters and I feel so blessed that we were chosen by their birthmothers and I hope that they feel as content as you do. I know at times I felt guilty for being the adoptive mother because I felt that their birthmothers would do just as good of a job. I always hope that when we meet again that they know that I have done my best to raise them. We only got to write letters and meet with our birthmohters once. Has it helped to have an open adoption? I would love to be more open with our birthmothers now!

Heather

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Heather,

I think having an open adoption is wonderful. I thought that maybe talking with my AP's and hearing the baby in the background would be a reminder of what I don't have....but it is a reminder of what I DO have! I love hearing about all the new little things he does.

Your girls look adorable and so happy in the picture of you and them! The smiles on their faces are proof that you are doing an excellent job! And don't feel guilty. I am sure your BP's are escstatic that their children are in such loving arms! They wouldn't have picked you otherwise!!!

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Heather,

I think having an open adoption is wonderful. I thought that maybe talking with my AP's and hearing the baby in the background would be a reminder of what I don't have....but it is a reminder of what I DO have! I love hearing about all the new little things he does.

Your girls look adorable and so happy in the picture of you and them! The smiles on their faces are proof that you are doing an excellent job! And don't feel guilty. I am sure your BP's are escstatic that their children are in such loving arms! They wouldn't have picked you otherwise!!!

Thank you! I hope you continue to post your journey on this forum. I'm glad life is going so well for you. :)

Heather

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