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Age of adoptive parents

Guest AngelaC

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When our youngest graduates from high school, my husband will be 67 and I will be 60! YIKES! Do we think about being older parents? You betcha. And, we do everything in our power to "stay young" a

As the single mom of boys who will have two parents who will be card-carrying members of AARP before they graduate from high school, I can't help but worry that they are likely to become "midlife orph

Oh, at just over 40, you should totally do it! No worries. I have a LOT of friends who had their first kids at 41, 42, 43. To me now, heading toward 50 all too rapidly, 40 seems so young. Just make su

I think it's probably a less-than-optimal arrangement if the parent and child are both in diapers at the same time... just sayin'! :o

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LOL - That's funny!

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  • 4 months later...

Yesterday Joshua and I were helping out in the 2 year old room at church like we do once a month. One of the other workers had her 6-year-old daughter in there with her. I asked the girl if she knew my daughter Lydia, who is coming up on her 6th birthday, and then showed her a picture. She said, "Yes, I know her. She goes to my school too." (We have lots of schools represented at our church.) She then asked if she was my daughter or my granddaughter!! :) Gotta love the (sometimes brutal) honesty of kids!

Technically, I'm old enough to be her grandmother, but I would have had to start my family very young! :)

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Susan, loved your post.. LOL... Kids can be brutal with a GREAT HEART and not even know it!

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  • 1 year later...

People Adopting Children When Most Are Thinking of Retirement

Is 60 Too Old To Adopt a Newborn?

When Are You Too Old to Adopt?

At Abrazo, we do not maintain an "upper age limit" for adopting parents, nor do we subscribe to the classic social work theory that parents should not be more than 40 years older than the child they seek to adopt.

That said, however, the majority of placing parents with whom we work are in their twenties, so understandably, their idea of "optimal parents for a baby" may not include those who are their own parents' age... or even older than their parents. (Occasionally some do, but it's not very common.)

This doesn't mean that older couples cannot adopt successfully, of course! Most can and do, eventually.

Yet it is important for older couples (and yes, even those who don't consider themselves "older") to be aware that expectant parents may have very valid concerns about mortality (which is particularly relevant, given adopted children's proclivity for loss issues) and to recognize that this can potentially slow down the adoption process for folks pushing fifty or beyond.

Again: this doesn't mean you cannot adopt successfully. It just means that you may need to be patient, and be ready to be receptive to whatever possibilities do come your way.

Here are a few ideas for expanding your possibilities:

* Open yourself up to the widest possible range of possibilities, in terms of the ages, racial backgrounds and number of children you are willing to consider adopting.

* Make sure your profile shows off the active, fun-loving people that you are. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then photos of you and your spouse going places and doing things will say a lot more than pictures of you sitting or posing like couch potatoes. (Unless that's all you usually do, in which case you may want to re-evaluate your ability to keep up with a small child, anyway!)

* Cast a wider net by posting your adoption profile on additional sites such as Adoption Profiles (http://www.parentprofiles.com/couples/) and Adoptimist (http://www.adoptimist.com/.) Abrazo can still screen calls for you and handle the casework like any other match, but by doing this, you may catch the eye of a mama who would otherwise have never found you and earn yourself a considerable fee discount as a result!

* Resist the urge to try to come off as younger than you are when talking with prospective birthparents. It won't seem genuine anyway, and chances are that if you have to pretend to be more youthful or "hip" than you are just to appeal to somebody, it won't be a comfortable match from day one.

* Spend plenty of time around children of the age(s) you intend to adopt, on up. (Babies are only newborns for a matter of days, of course, and they turn into toddlers and preschoolers before you know it.) Volunteer in your church nursery, or babysit for friends. Take a childcare class and be sure you're comfortable in a hands-on way, because your competency will be very important to any prospective birthparents with whom you match.


Disclaimer: This post is written by an "older parent" whose sons are acutely aware that both their mom and dad are older than the parents of most of their grade school classmates, however young their mom may like to think she is!

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