Stork Central Posted September 20, 2001 Report Share Posted September 20, 2001 The agency often gets calls from single persons inquiring about adopting. Granted, many birthparents are unwilling to consider a one-parent home for their baby, especially if their desire to give their child a two-parent home is a motivating factor in their placement decision. However, there are loving mothers out there who were themselves the product of one-parent homes and recognize the value of a single but fully dedicated parent of either gender. But who better to provide insight and answers than those who've successfully negotiated the challenges of adopting and parenting as a single parent?! Or those who've made the decision to match with or place into a loving home where one parent does it all? Let's hear from those of you with questions to ask or stories to share! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sabrina Rohmiller Posted September 22, 2001 Report Share Posted September 22, 2001 I must say that I am a single adoptive mother and life is good. I know that we often get over looked not because of who we are but, rather our lack of a spouse. I was very intimidated with the thought of adopting because I am single due to the death of my husband. I spoke with many adoption agency that did not want to work with me. I was a little taken back but, not far enough to give up hope. I am a firm believer that only God and your child know who and where you are. Believe me when I tell you that they WILL find you. You can't or must not give up hope if you want to share your love with a child who wants to do the same for you. I adopted a wonderful little boy about two years ago and I am in the process of adopting again. In fact as I type I anxiously await the call as my Birthmother is beginning the early stages of Labor as we type. YESSS!!! SO if you are single and want to adopt I strongly suggest that you give great consideration to ABRAZO they will make it happen. You must believe and be ready it could happen faster than you know. I think sometimes they are truly are Angels to our babies and birthparents until we get there. God Bless!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sabrina Rohmiller Posted September 22, 2001 Report Share Posted September 22, 2001 (Edited by Sabrina Rohmiller at 8:47 pm on Sep. 21, 2001) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoirish Posted September 28, 2001 Report Share Posted September 28, 2001 Sabrina, I love your story and it sounds like you are doing a great job as a single mother. Please give us an update on baby #2 when you get a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sabrina Rohmiller Posted October 3, 2001 Report Share Posted October 3, 2001 Well gang I just wanted to let everyone know that I just got back to WV from SAN ANTONIO. I adopted a beautiful baby boy born Sept. 23. Things are great and I was sooooooo happy to work with the birthmother that I did . She is such a sweetie! I feel so utterly blessed that I have been given such a wonderful gift as motherhood for the second time. It's likes Gods way of saying " your doin' O.K. down there" Blessed Blessed Blessed... what else can I say . I am a little tired from the trip but, I will get back in a few days to let you know how things are. By the way I think my older son is amazed by his new baby brother. Sabrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Roxy Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 Hey Sabrina we are all sooooo Happy for you and yes you are a wonderful mother. Of course Abrazo only works with the best families in the whole wide world dont you know. Families who are open to having a wonderful relationship with their most wonderful birth parents. Families who really care about their birth parents and that would never give up contact once they have their babies. Let us know Sabrina how you are handling 2 awesome baby boys Chao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted September 7, 2002 Report Share Posted September 7, 2002 Hi, My name is Jean. I am a 42 year old divorced professional woman. I have been through ten years of trying to conceive and unsuccessful infertility treatments. My ex-husband and I made an adoption plan with two birthmothers that did not culminate in a successful placement (with another agency). A myriad of things lead me to become a single woman, but in all that time, the one thing that never wavered is my desire to parent. After much soul searching, prayer, and discussion with family and friends, I have decided to follow my dream of becoming a mom. I have submitted my inquiry, application, and preference for orientation weekend to Abrazo. I am gathering photographs and mentally planning my Dear Birthmother Profile. Yes, I am a miracle seeker and a believer that dreams do come true. I was wondering if there are any other singles who are working to build their families through adoption. I welcome any responses. (single or not) May God Bless you in your search, Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny N Posted September 8, 2002 Report Share Posted September 8, 2002 Hello Jean!! I just want to congratulate you on your way to becoming a mommy. (and to the forum). I think Abrazo is a great agency to help your dreams come true! Best wishes, your lucky star is out there waiting for you too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted September 8, 2002 Report Share Posted September 8, 2002 Hi Jenny, Thank you for responding to my post. I agree that Abrazo is a wonderful organization of angels. I have friends who adopted through Abrazo three years ago and have a fabulous son that amazes and blesses me each time I see him. I believe that open adoption is the best way and even though I have experienced two open birthparent relationships that did not culminate in my becoming a mom, I know that God placed those individuals in my path because we needed each other at that time. I believe that, as Ruth and Elizabeth say, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. Thank you again for responding to my post! Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stork Central Posted October 3, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2002 Can anyone offer feedback for single mothers who may feel limited to seeking adoption of girls only for fear of not knowing how to adequately meet the emotional needs of little boys? (Or vice versa?) Single adoptive parents often approach the process compelled to take placement only of a child of their own gender, which can complicate the adoption process considerably. It eliminates half of their possible placement opportunities (already limited, sadly, by the fewer numbers of birthparents willing to consider a single-parent home) and potentially deprives a baby in need of a great home just because of his or her gender. Do children in single parent homes have a stronger need to be raised only by a parent of their own gender? Are there advantages to growing up with just one parent, of the opposite sex? What challenges do those "in the ranks" find themselves facing as single parents raising kids of the same (or opposite) gender, and how do you manage to give your children the best of both worlds anyhow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmeurbach Posted December 4, 2004 Report Share Posted December 4, 2004 Hi! I am new at this. My name is David Urbach, I live in Austin, Texas. I would like to adopt a baby boy. Because I really would like to be a DAD. I would like to now how single parents got started. Thank You Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethAnn Posted December 5, 2004 Report Share Posted December 5, 2004 Hi, David! At Abrazo, we do welcome single parents who meet our agency admissions criteria (as found on our website, these are generally stable, secure adults over the age of 25, with medically-documented infertility OR interest in special needs adoption.) Single dads are admitted more rarely than single moms, partly because in open adoption, many birthmothers are seeking to place their children in a two-parent home, or to be assured that their infant will have a solid mother figure in their lives. However, we embrace your interest in parenthood and wish you the best of luck, wherever your journey might lead you. To further explore whether Abrazo would be a good fit for you, please print out the downloadable inquiry form from the agency's website, complete and return it to us, and we'll be in touch. Welcome to the forum; may you find much valuable information here to aid you in your quest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeyandTy's Mom Posted June 15, 2005 Report Share Posted June 15, 2005 Just thought I would get this topic started again! Are there any other single parents out there. Jean how is it going? What are your thoughts on being a single parent? Let's share ideas or just chat on the "single parent thing". Life can be a little trying as a single parent but, surely we can offer some ideas that will get us through tough times...if there are any Sabrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reneetodd Posted June 15, 2005 Report Share Posted June 15, 2005 Great topic! I'm glad it was brought up to the top again. I am neither a single parent or a birthmother who matched with a single parent but I am the child of a single parent. My mother remarried when I was nine but until then she did it all by herself. While I am, obviously, the same gender as my mother she tried to do activities with me that she thought father's would do with their daughters also. She didn't want me to lose the "masculine" influence that a father undoubtedly has on his daughter. We played catch, went camping, hiking, fishing, rode bikes, caught frogs, wrestled, played sports, etc...along with all kinds of girly tea parties, dressing up, shopping trips, coloring, reading, watching Shirley Temple movies, etc... As a result I have a pretty cool mom who can dress like a princess OR pitch a tent in less than five minutes. I also had a lot of positive male role models in my life. Coming from a very close knit family I was never short uncles who loved me and treated me the same as their children (especially my Uncle Al who had only sons, he loved to spoil his neice-daughter!) My grandfather also taught me to shoot guns, catch chickens, work on cars, and the names of tools. I think my advice here would be that single parents include influences and role models in a child's life that give them the opportunity to experience both genders of parents. There is no reason why a single father couldn't play tea party or Barbies and sports with his daughter or why a single mother couldn't teach her son to catch a ball and read picture books together at bedtime. Being a well-rounded single parent shows the child that stereotypical general roles are a thing of the past and that males and females are equally capable of most things. And having a strong family unit with male role models for your child exemplifies the proverbial, it takes a village to raise a child. And that sense of community can only help your child's self-esteem and well-being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeyandTy's Mom Posted June 15, 2005 Report Share Posted June 15, 2005 Renee, I agree with you totally! I have found that I am able to get on the floor and wrestle around with my guys, build with legos, and talk "power rangerease" and have a blast doing it. I try to include as many positive male influences (i.e. my brother, neighbors, their godfather and so on..) as possible. I love that I have such positive male roles models in their life and can include them. They are blessed as am I! Thanks for your input ! Sabrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marthaj Posted August 12, 2005 Report Share Posted August 12, 2005 The front page of the S.A. Life section of our San Antonio Express News had an article this week entitled "Moms After 40: More single women are opting for adoption." The article states that there is "a growing number of single women in their 40's and 50's who are taking alternative paths to motherhood. In the last several decades, the number of older, single women adopting children has been increasing slowly and steadily in both domestic and international adoptions." The article continues "Adoption agencies, advocates say, are quick to see the advantages of single mothers who have more life experience and are increasingly more financially independent." As one 46 year old adoptive mother, whose son was adopted from a Vietnamese orphanage, put it, "I'd already gone to every party I needed to go to. I'd already had some nice relationships and some really bad ones. The only thing I hadn't had was a child." Single women who are contemplating adoption are advised to consider their network of support, because older parents often do not have relatives to help out. Single parents must think about the time they can dedicate to a child and whether they have a support system in place. However, all the women interviewed for the article said in the end, once they had their child home, it was all absolutely worth it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 I am a single mom of a soon to be three year Abrazo Babe. My support system has evolved into the most wonderful group of friends and neighbors anyone could wish to have. My family is scattered all over the country, but many beautiful people have come to know and love Nathan and are there for us just like family. God puts people in your path that you need. So I would say, if you're single and the fact that your family isn't able to support you directly, don't let that stand in your way. There are always many "Earth Angels" that are ready and willing to be there. I am always amazed at the lengths people are willing to go to help out. If being a parent is in your heart, then it is a God given desire and He will assist you if you ask. It is HARD, but it is absoutely worth it! If there are any singles reading this that are thinking about becoming a single parent through adoption and you would like to chat, feel free to pm me or call Abrazo and get my phone number. I'd be glad to answer your questions and tell you all about my personal experience as Nathan's mama. I say it often, "Being Nathan's mom is the best thing I've ever done." If it is in your heart, you can do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marthaj Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Beautifully expressed, Jean!! Another aspect that the article brought up was the financial aspect. The single mom they profiled was a free lance journalist, and after bringing her Vietnamese son home from the orphanage, she found that she was not able to keep up with her work demands (i.e. meet deadlines for articles, etc) and her paycheck suffered. Fortunately she had saved money in advance, which got her through this adjustment period. Of course, financial concerns pertain whether you are a parent by birth or by adoption! It is just one more area that you have to examine before you take the next step!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden of Hope Posted August 17, 2005 Report Share Posted August 17, 2005 Thanks, Martha! Your little Catherine is so cute!! I love her photo, but Nathan misses the cat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeyandTy's Mom Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 I was just thinking.....as I got onto the froum tonight. I am almost positive that I am ....out of place here to say the least . I realize that I am a single mother and doing the best I know how for my children. I have said many times how supportive my family and friends are. I often look to the forum for ideas, support, and wonderful stories of adoption. I am sort of in the minority when it comes to my children and their adoptions. Don't get me wrong...I am so proud of being able to adopt and be blessed. I just often feel like the support for a single adoptive parent is not here. Jean ...I know you are out there and thanks for the support. I feel like I often reach out and am often blessed with support. I know at times I speak up when I should'nt and give input when it is not asked of me. I felt very out of place at Camp Abrazo because I was a single parent as well as a little shy. My children and I had a wonderful time and would definately do it again.....I just felt out of place because I felt as though I had no one to talk to. I love this forum ....it is such an outlet for me. I just think that maybe I should give it a rest. I don't feel like I have much more to offer. There is a distinct difference in single parents and parents who have a spouse. This forum is mostly comprised of married couples which is wonderful. I guess the best thing for me to do is try to find more single parents that can share Ideas with me. I love everyone who has chatted and been so sweet to me and my chilren. Thanks Sabrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marthaj Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Sabrina, It sounds like you are just having a bad day!! I for one would miss you very, very, very much if you weren't here on the Forum!! I value your opinion and ideas highly. Plus, I would miss you as a friend. Treat yourself to a nice, long, hot bubble bath (it works for me!) You deserve a little pampering. Love, Martha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Sabrina, I know that I love to read your posts because you offer so much insight. I think you have a different perspective to offer and many find it helpful. Please continue to fill our lives with your wisdom!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mathews Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 Sabrina, don't leave us. We all have bad days. Please stay with the Forum. We would miss you terribly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weadoptedthree Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 I agree ... Sabrina stay with us on the Forum. Sometimes I feel the same way you do, but for a different reason. All the posts nowadays are from the "newbies". We adopted our children almost 11 years ago! Plus the fact that I am much older than ALMOST everyone else here. There is no one else from my orientation group who regularly posts on the Forum. So I used to think maybe I have no business being on here, but it gives me such pleasure to read all the exciting posts and I genuinely feel for everyone involved when plans fall through. I decided to stay and most times just be a silent reader, but every once in a while I'll still post. Please stay Sabrina, I like what you have to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbugsma Posted September 17, 2005 Report Share Posted September 17, 2005 As one of those 'newbies', I urge you to stay around & post. I find great information in your post & get inspired by your relationship w/ your children. Please accept my warm fuzzies to stay around & keep us company, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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