Adam & Beth

This is what makes us different. I don't give to charities because I get a tax deduction. I give to causes that I passionately believe in. My donation is my effort to make a difference with the limited funds that I can provide. I don't even keep records for tax purposes (sorry Anthony ). Much of what we give is untraceable, because it doesn't matter where it came from, as long as it helps. Wait a second...you are putting words in my mouth here. I don't give to charities BECAUSE of the tax deductions, and I didn't say that I did. I do take advantage of the tax deductions that our government offers as an encouragement to donate to charities, but that is something different. If anything, it allows me to give more money to my favorite charities to do good with. If you don't like that example, then think about some of the many other ways that society gives people financial incentives to help push them to do certain things -- tax breaks if you renovate your house in environmentally conscious ways or if you use your money to buy health insurance or to save for your children's college tuitions, for example. Many employers give people time off to give blood or help with Habitat For Humanity. Many school systems give prizes or rewards for good grades.... Maybe you really don't like this idea, but I can think of dozens of ways in which our society seems to think that financially incentivizing certain choices is completely ok, and an effective way of shifting societal attitudes. I have a feeling that you aren't quite saying what you mean, but if this is genuinely what you mean then I have to strongly disagree and say that NOT choosing a family based on what you can afford seems far more irresponsible to me. Ignoring the financial realities of one's situation when bringing a child into your family seems like the very definition of irresponsibility. d Some very valid points Darren. Thanks for your input (and there is some very good feedback from others as well). It's a heavy topic.

Congratulations Michael! and to the new mommy & daddy Signed, A happy member of the Republican Party, A happy member of the Democratic party, and our little 6 month old Independent

Best wishes to you TRACEB. I think most of us can understand those two emotions as we've been there. And the good news is, if the inquiry and application process are a good fit for you and for Abrazo, you may just find yourself as one of the newest Abrazo families Very Soon! Peace, Adam

Okie-Dokie

Or how about Texarkana.. Actually We almost stayed in Texarkana on our way home for ICPC to make the drive time a little easier. When searching for hotels there, you had to be careflu as Half the city is in Texas, half the city is in Arkansas and you wouldn't want to violate terms of the Compact. Good luck to your friends in Shreveport -A

I know some birthparents may think that having their child grow up in a Texas home will make it easier for periodic visits, but I guess it all depends on WHERE in Texas you live and your mode of transportation! Beaumont to El Paso is 742 miles and Beaumont to Chicago is just 770 miles and El Paso is actually closer to California than to Dallas! Very good points. Then there is also the fact that there are no guarantees that families won't move around (whether that be a move closer to family, or I've known some to move even just a little further away from family , and I've known many (including my own family/extended family to move to another city/state as part of their career path). My point is that you just never know what road life will take you down. I would hate for a birhtfamily to pass up the opportunity to meet some of the great PIWs Abrazo has some of whom happen to live out of the Great State of Texas; But, I believe I understand why they want a Texas couple.... I think there is a sense of security for the birthmothers that limit their choices to only those PIWs within the state of Texas, but unfortunately, where that family lives is no gaurantee of where they will be. Then if we look at the average birthmother, someone in their early 20's, that's a pretty young age and they too may find themselves moving around over the years. But, it is their choice of course as to who they will entertain as perspective parents for their child. It is such a difficult decision. If I were in there shoes and felt that I wanted the best option for keeping in touch (with possible visits) with the PIWs, then I too would probably lean towards a 'local' couple if everything else were 'equal' between them and an out of state couple. Again though, you raise an excellent point. peace, Adam

Melanie, Welcome to the forum. There are a number of Abrazo families in the Jersey area so you should be able to establish some good local support links and meet some new friends too Best wishes to you in your journey to bring child #3 home -Adam

Amen to That!

Hi LoveFaithHope: We too are out of staters and through Abrazo, were successfully placed with our beautiful son, Nathan. GOD IS GOOD! We were using a great adoption agency locally, but they are a very young and small agency and advised that it could take quite some time before the right birthmother/baby were to come our way. (Surprisngly, a good situation occurred shortly after we started with Abrazo, but we felt we were on the right path to continue with the Abrazo program). Our agency advised they knew a number of people in the Memphis area that had successfully adopted through an Agency in San Antonion known as Abrazo Adoption Associates. We looked into Abrazo to see what their program was like and spoke with a couple or two locally who had used their services. We did the inquiry, application and Orientation and Abrazo really opened our eyes to what Open Adoption is (and just as importantly, what it is not). Abrazo has a good program and it works. Our son Nathan is proof of that. Being out of state, I think it helps to have some local support resources as well and our local adoption agency has filled that role. At a minimum, make sure you are working with a good social worker who will be handling your case while you await finalization. The Abrazo Orientation is excellent at helping you establish support resources within your adoption/Orientation group. Believe me, even after a mere 2 day orientation, you will form lifelong bonds with some if not all of your group. I can't tell you how supportive our friends in our group have been to us. Through Abrazo, we met, matched, and formed a life-long bond with a wonderful birthmother. The things we learned about open adoption helped put to rest our fears and helped kindle a good open relationship with her. We are grateful for Abrazo's help in educating us about how beneficial an open adoption relationship can be for all parties. Is Abrazo right for you? Only you can decide that. Check them out. They are not for everyone and they'll be the first to tell you that. That is one of the first things they told us at Orientation. But if you do feel they are for you and they feel the same, it could be the start of a wonderful relationship Is there a perfect adoption agency? No, I don't think so (nor is their the perfect client probably ) but I do believe that some are agencies are a step above other agencies and I can tell you that, in my opinion, Abrazo's plan does work. Without us having taken a leap of faith to use them, we would not be placed with our beautiful son GOD IS GOOD! and I believe he guided us throughout our entire adoption journey. I am thankful that through him and through our local agency, we were directed to Abrazo. Whatever you decide, may God be with you on your journey and may your life be filled with blessings & joy. Peace be with you, Adam

A very nice poem indeed. Working at Children's Cancer hospital everyday lets you see that cancer does not descriminate based on one's age, but these young persons' strong will, and their glowing personalities sure let you know that their illness is not going to get the better of them (if they can help it). It sure makes one grateful too to have one's health. May God grant all those suffer from this serious illness much peace and healing. Signed, the son of a mother who is now 5+ years cancer-free God is good!

WOW! This is very interesting to know. Thanks for the adoption eductation lesson today Elizabeth Just for my personal clarification: This would not be applicable though if waivers were signed by the spouse or potential fathers correct? or incorrect? -A

Welcome Mr. & Mrs. "JALLWEIN" edit: Make that WELCOME JESSICA & JEREMY! We too hope that you will become one of the blessed couples (as we have recently become) who experience a successful adoption plan through Abrazo Best wishes, Adam

My parents were never 'trying' for one over the other, though they hoped for a girl in the mix. They stopped when the 4th boy delivered was 10lbs 10 oz

I was thinking about you two the other day and was wishing you both a Happy Hanukkah! Sorry I failed to email you that greeting. I was talking with one of Lily's good friends (Gage - 6 years old) at a birthday dinner the other night as he is experiencing his second Hanukkah. His mother and father are not married and he has become closer with his dad, who is Jewish, over the past 2 years. Gage celebrates both Hanukkah (dad's side) and Christmas (mother's side). Gage gave us a nice Hebrew blessing before dinner. So, to all those of the Jewish Faith, HAPPY HANUKKAH! -Adam

I have always thought there is a special connection between children and Godparents. I unfortunately never got to know my Godmother as it was a distant relative who is now deceased, but I am very close with my Godfather who is one of my uncles in Dallas Peace, -A

Ditto! Congrats to the greatly expanded new family. Lots of siblings, what a blessing -A

Those kids are just TOO CUTE! Praying they will find a good forever home soon.

And some children will demand it more than others. Each child is unique and each age has its own challenges. We've been blessed with helping raise a now 4 year old girl (niece) since birth and now we've been blessed with a newborn to raise every moment of every day . I'd say on most days, Nathan is more work than our niece, but there have been many a day as well where raising a Toddler old who is 'testing boundaries' or simply "being a brat" has been more tiring than the lack of sleep we get raising Nathan. Ultimately, I'm grateful to have them both in my life. There are definitely days where I would change things (just my opinion of course), but they are both blessed gifts from God and I'm so grateful for the gift of being family to each of them. As always, be fair to yourself. Keep your mind open and evaluate all possiblities. Ultimately, only you know what is right for you and you will make the right decision for you. I think knowing all your options helps you make your best decisions. Good luck. Every child deserves a good, loving family Hoping the right child finds his/her way home to you soon -Adam

Good / Comprehensive list Elizabeth and definitely lots of things to think about. Thanks for compiling that.

I already went out looking for the picture but I imagine it'll be up in the next 24 hours or so provided Pamela, the non-stop,ever-going-go-go-placement gal is not headed to yet another placement tonight. Not that that wouldn't be yet another great thing around here -A

My husband and I were also of different faiths. It was time for us to finally choose when our girls were 2 and 3 yrs old. We definitely looked at how strong the children's programs were in our choices. We have been so blessed to have found one that has our girls so enthusiastic about Christian learning. Our church also has an awesome children's choir and they just love to sing about Jesus! Hope Beth and I are both of the Christian faith but of different denominations (me Catholic, her Methodist). It was a big step finding a place where we could both worship comfortably and most importantly, together, as a family. IMO, it takes some flexibility on both sides to find the right mix of where to call "home" in regards of a common church. If I might share a little of our faith journey......First, it Sounds like you are already on the right track. Just take your time and most importantly, be open and honest with one another about your feelings for any place you choose to worship. Express your likes and your dislikes. It helps to know where your partner is coming from in his/her faith journey. While I've always considered myself to have a very strong faith, Beth's faith was stronger or more directed in some areas that mine was not. And some of my key "likes" of the church were different from hers or even ones that may were "dislikes" of hers. To me, finding the right church home took more soul examination mores than actual church shopping. Finding churches was easy. In the Catholic church, they often rotate or assign new priests every 5-7 years. So, it can very easily go from having a priest you connect with to one you don't think so highly of. Same goes for our current church where a minister may be there as short as 1 years and typically not much more than about 5 years. We are attending a United Methodist Church, St. Lukes. We tried only a couple of different places and I really didn't think we would end up where we are now. Looking back, we should have tried a few more places, but honestly, I am happy where we are now. I'm glad we gave it a chance. It took some extra pushes from Beth to give it just a bit more of a chance though. We were much younger (24 yrs old) than the average person in our congregation when we first started going to church at St. Lukes together. It took me a year before I started to feel comfortable there. Is that too long? I don't know, it was just 'right' for us. Getting to know these others in my class who were going through similar things in their lives (like coming from different backgrounds and trying to find a mutual church home) was very helpful. If it had not been for a brand new "Young Adults" sunday school class which was was composed primarily of young professionals and newly weds in our age demographic, we would not have stayed on. Since then, there have been more people are age and we've made invaluable friendships. We got involved in a number of programs the church offered and eventually Beth even left her job to go work there full time as the Youth Director. We love it, but it took some work on our part. 10 years of marriage later, we are not the "young adults" any more, but it's good to see new people going through the motions we once did and knowing they're on their way to establishing their church home. The children's director is a dear friend of ours as is the choir and children's choir director. So, we see good times ahead for Nathan as he grows up here. Good luck on finding the right place for the two of you and for your future family. We found a good church home and I'm sure you will too -Adam

Welcome Baby Lauren Isabel and Congratulations to your new parents. Peace be with you and your birthfamily. -A

Or can you give us any teasers like length, weight, time of birth?.....We know it's a girl and as you can tell, you've got a lot of people here who are excited for you!