Travis and Jacquee

I second that KatieB!! One comment that really smoked my goose was when we finally got pregnant a close relative said,"You think you love Trenton but just wait until you hold your own baby." Now maybe I'm naive but if Trenton isn't my baby, then whose baby is he?? Mind you he's 4 years old now, but he will ALWAYS be my baby!! Our match was first made in heaven whether it was to be by biology or adoption! Jacquee

You know, that is an interesting question... I have an elderly aunt (85 years old) who one day said to me "I was always glad when my children got grown and moved out of my house. I just can't see why anyone would go buy a baby." Now, considering that she is my mother's oldest living sibling, I decided to swallow my disgust as best I could and explain to her my view on the subject with the hopes that my aunt might somehow reprogram her opinions (which I must say really hurt my feelings since I'd always felt that everyone in my family absolutely adored Trenton). But that said, our journey into parenthood really opened my eyes to how wonderful God is. He brings us together is so many ways, by marriage, by birth, sometimes by tragedy, by faith, by friendships and yes, by adoption. And how we came together isn't quite as important as the fact that we are together and we're family. And for everything we've been through in becoming a family, I'd do again exactly the same way to see my son's face first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Jacquee

Oh this is a great topic. I have to admit too that I find myself wondering if we'll have another baby in our arms any time soon. Trenton is now 20 months old and turbo-charged. Not a day goes by that he's not running, climbing, or jumping to or from something. And he's getting less and less interested in kissing and cuddling each passing day. And while I'm so in love with everything about him including this new surge of independence, I'm also missing those early days when he would put his face right next to mine and just leave it there. But we're feeling right now that we'd like to have more children (sons or daughters) and have them all be pretty close in age. I guess we figure that this would be a good time since our energy level is up with Trenton. But there are so many other things to consider like the expense of having two children in daycare at the same time both in diapers and one on infant formula. And also, like linlacor mentioned, then they'd all possibly be in college at the same time. So we've given the idea much prayer and are leaning toward starting the process again soon and just trust God to iron out the details. Has anyone else adopted again soon after their first placement? Jacquee

So very well said, Jill. For us, the reality of being infertile had to set in for us for a long while too. I guess somewhere in my mind I was thinking that we'll adopt "if all else fails". But when I saw a local commercial about adoption, it changed my attitude completely. And like Jill, I had started talking to my family members about it to see how they felt about it. To my surprise and delight they were so supportive and excited at the idea. So when my husband and I finally sat down to discuss our feelings about parenting a child that was not biologically related to us, I was preparing myself for the fact that maybe he wouldn't feel the same way about adopting. And he was quiet and reserved at first just taking in all the information I had found online about adoption. I didn't push because I knew he'd have to fall in the love with the idea on his own. And he did. But the lesson for me was not to try to project my thoughts and ideas on to him because I was pretty excited and eager to get the process going. Our son is now 15 months old and he and my husband are inseparable. I have never seen my husband so in love in my life. It was definitely worth searching our hearts, feelings, and convictions over because we are just overjoyed at being our son's parents..and everything that goes along with that. My sister hit the nail on the head one day when she said "it wasn't only about adopting the right child for you, but also about being the right parents for your child." Jacquee

Hi Zinnia, I totally agree that the joys outweigh everything else. And I encourage you to just focus on the positive which is that you and Abel are on your way to becoming parents to the most beautiful child/children! And I agree that some of the most hurtful comments tend to come from those closest to us. And every so often one of my family members will come up with a new one. But I've finally taken it upon myself to sort of be an advocate for adoption especially around my family. So you hang in there and "WELCOME" to the forum. I think you'll find so much support and friendship here. Jacquee

Hi Christina, and CONGRATULATIONS in advance!!! Just sit back and enjoy the last of your day to day routine as you know it now because you're blessing is on the way! You all sound so much like me and Travis agonizing over the application process. And even though there are no wrong answers, there are so many things to consider when you envision your future little bundle of joy. But I'm so happy that you're finally over that hump. YEAH!! We adopted a little boy, Trenton, in December after only 3 weeks from sending in our pre-application. And I tell you, Christina, we still can't figure out what we did to be so blessed! Even now, I can't believe I'm a MOTHER to such a wonderful little boy. And I know, I know that soon you'll be feeling the same elation and joy!!! Please keep us posted on how things are going along the way to your big day when you get "the call". We send you all our prayers!!! Jacquee

We'll all pray that God sends his angels to watch over Jetta and her unborn child through this crisis she's in. I also hope and pray that someway, somehow either the trucker will call back or Jetta or someone around her that wants to help her. When I read about her, so many concerns came to me. Does she have a safe place to sleep? Is she eating properly? Does her family know or have any idea where she is? Who can she confide in and count on? Oh dear God, please intervene in her life and bring her some help soon and protect her innocent, unborn child. Jacquee

Hi Everybody We're pretty green to the private adoption process (actually we've only been in contact with Abrazo for about two weeks & haven't even attended the orientation yet). But we're fortunate in that we had a homestudy done thru CPS a few years ago and so we only have to update that previous homestudy. Our first meeting and home inspection with the social worker was yesterday and I have to tell you that it wasn't nearly the way I had envisioned it. I'd spent the weekend polishing furniture, vacuuming, mopping, and cleaning baseboards and just imagining the social worker finding something horrible that I hadn't noticed. But she was so very nice and at ease. We basically just went over some of the points from our previous homestudy for accuracy such as our income, place of employment, insurance information, and reasons for wanting to adopt. She then, interviewed each of us separately I guess to find out how we each viewed our relationship with each other (I held my breath while Travis was doing his interview). And the last thing she did was a quick walk-thru thru the house and mapped out where each room was. And that was pretty much it for our first meeting with her. It took about 2 hours. Since our social worker was very familiar with the staff at Abrazo, she had so many good things to say about Abrazo. She seemed just about as excited as we are. So we really feel that we've been lead to the right folks. It's been encouraging and enlightening to read about everyone's different experiences on the forum and maybe, with a lot of hope and prayer, we'll soon be able to announce our placement too!! Thanks everyone for all the words of wisdom. It's a tremendous help for newbies like us!!!! Jacquee