tksimmons02

I have given this question a lot of thought lately. We did not have a good experience in our fertility quest. I'm not sure our dr. did much more than try to make money off of us (he suggested IVF at our first visit even though we are both relatively young and there is no biological explaination for our infertility). Anyway, we didn't do much in way of treatments because of his callous attitude. Recently we went to dinner with some friends that also struggled with infertility and subsequently gave birth to two healthy children. They had a different dr. and a much different experience. They were very encouraging to us to go and see their dr. and felt sure that he would be more helpful than our last. Although we are THRILLED with our choice to adopt, sometimes we wonder about #2 so we did think about seeking this dr.'s help (they assured us that there were LOTS of low-tech ways to assist pregnancy that we had never even heard of). I read this article after our dinner. After a lot of soul searching, I just don't think the costs outway the risks. I think there is a reason we are unable to conceive and we should just respect the divine intervention and move on. I don't feel like risking my own life would be worth the chance of bringing a life related to mine into the world. I would love to experience a pregnancy, but not at the incredible risks mentioned in some of the treatments available. We could not love our daughter anymore than we do. I don't dream of what my biological children would look like (I don't really care). I can't even get inventive and wonder what kind of personalities our biological children would have because I just don't know. For us, we are finished with fertility stuff. We are thrilled with the life the Lord has granted us. When we are ready for #2, he or she will find their way to us just like our daughter did. We have trust in His sovereignty and grace. I worry about the developments in reproductive technology that seem to put women's very lives at risk. I think there should be LOTS of counceling involved before, after, and during the treatments to help women make the best decisions they can.

Congratulations to the newest family!

Welcome Newest Tot! Tom and Kathy, we have been on pins and needles for TWO days!! ELATED does NOT cover it! We are overjoyed by the arrival of your little one! Can't wait to meet both your girls in person! Hugs, Jay, Tina, and Makenzie

Congratulations!! Girls are awesome! What a wonderful way to start your new year!!

It only gets worse after orientation!

This article beautifully illustrates the guilt I felt at placement. I can totally relate to the author's sorrow. I cried more for Makenzie's birthmother than I ever did for myself through all our infertility trials. I still get misty when I think of it. Thank you for sharing!

Jada, that was really moving. Thanks so much for sharing!

Obviously, they talked to the wrong San Antonio based adoption agency!

Congratulations to our newest Abrazo Princess and her faithful forever family!

That sounds like a wonderfull Hallmark Movie to me!

Happy Birthday Kristin! My birthday wish last year was to be a mommy too! I got my precious wish 2 1/2 months before I turned 31. Abrazo is the place to be! I can't wait to hear about your journey!

Congratulations to BOTH wonderful new families!! Enjoy these precious days with your new princesses!!

Tina, Wanna hear something crazy? Once we decided on adoption, I said I was completely done with keeping track of the monthly cycle. And I really did. I was so done with it all. Now since I don't keep track whatsoever, I never know when my friend may be coming for a visit. So, at least every month or every other month, I think to myself "I bet I'm pregnant". And I'm not sad or disappointed when my friend comes, I'm just amazed that I still even think that. I guess "it" never completely goes away. But I now feel so much more trusting of God's plan -- whatever that may be. Toni, That cracks me up! I don't keep track of cycles anymore either. I only get in trouble when I go to the dr. and they ask when my last one was and I go "I don't know". Then I have to sit and try and figure it out (SUCH A PAIN). They always ask "could you be pregnant?" and my answer is "Could be, but I doubt it". They don't find any humor in it by the way. I was chastised last time and told to keep up just in case there is a problem. (You mean like I can't get pregnant??? ). I told Jay the other day if I ever do get pregnant, I will probably be several months along before I figure it out. Who can keep up while trying to take care of a little one?!?!?!?

Claudia, Thank you so much for your candor. I completely agree. Most of the time I don't ever want to think about fertility treatments again, but I do have my moments when I wonder "what if..." It makes me feel much better to know that I am not the only adoptive mom that still thinks that. I think we (as couples that have struggled with infertility) know better than most that God is completely in control of this decision. We can plan all we want to, but God will decide. I feel comfort and peace knowing that I don't have the final say. It is easier for me to rest in His guidance and let him take control of the whole situation. If I get pregnant GREAT! If not, I will be calling Abrazo again in about 2 years. Either way, we will expand our family with a precious child that couldn't be more loved.

Congratulations to both families on their joyous new additions!

I saw the Oprah interview this afternoon as well. I don't know what to think about it. Madonna might actually have done the right thing this time. She did say she had a social worker and that she had completed a homestudy. I will give her the benefit of the doubt on that card. However, I HATE the attitude that people adopt to "save" children. We did not adopt our daughter to "save" her. We adopted her because we desperately wanted children and her birthparents could not provide the home they wanted for her. I deplore celebrities thinking that adoption is all about "saving" a child. If they want to be humanitarians they should donate their millions to some reputable charities and save the child the heartache of living in a spotlight.

She could come home with us if Makenzie was older than 6 months! I pray this little angel finds her forever home very soon.

I think it's because Madonna is a lightning rod for controversy. She loves to be the center of attention. People assume because of past behavior that her current situation is also questionable. Angelina is much less known for being controversial purposely. It also helps that Angelina is gorgeous! I never knew that either of her adoptions were questionable until I read the links provided. Personally, I am much more offended by the trend that Angelina has set. I have seen interviews with several startlets talking about how much they admired Angelina. They further commented that they wanted to bring home babies from poor countries too (to be humanitarian). Children are children no matter where they come from. They take hard work and a lot of love and attention. They are not fashion statements or the latest do-gooder accessory. I hate the terminology that has entered their language due to Angelina's actions.

Reading stories like that makes me appreciate the gravity of our Social Worker's position and the delicate balance you ladies have to make with each PIW. Going through the homestudy/adoption process felt very invasive. I was really upset about all the personal questions and suppositions made about our characters. I am a very private person by nature, so discussing everything from my own childhood to our marital intimacies with strangers was in the least distasteful to me. It never occured to me that there was a good reason for all these invasions. The world is a much darker place than I give it credit for sometimes. Thanks girls for being so careful!

I have been reading about these "designer babies". One of the stories I read (Sorry, I can't remember where so we can't all send hate mail. ) stated that biological parents wanted the same "freedoms" given to adoptive parents. It posited that because adoptive parents can choose gender, race, disability, etc. that biological parents should be given the same opportunities. They worded it like it was discrimination to interfere with biological parents "natural right to choose". I got so angry I'm pretty sure I didn't finish the article (might have been on line). Anyway, I think babies are gifts no matter where they come from or how they arrive. I personally felt very overwhelmed and underqualified "choosing" the characteristics of our future child. I felt much more comfortable staying open to what God had in store (His plans are ALWAYS so much better than mine anyway!). I think society today is too much into appearances. Live and Let God worry about the details!

Congratulations to the new family! You look absolutely radiant!

Congratulations on expanding your family exponentially! She sure is one lucky little girl!

Congratulations on your sweet baby girl!! Many blessing to both families!

Congratulations on your new bouncing baby boy!!

Two girls means two times the fun!! Congratulations!!