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tksimmons02

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Everything posted by tksimmons02

  1. I hate these kinds of stories. I saw a movie about sliding doors once. It showed what would happen to lives if different choices were made at different stages. I wish more people would think through all of their decisions to try and see better possible outcomes for themselves and their loved ones.
  2. Congratulations Mom and Dad!! Enjoy every moment!
  3. Lifting up both families this morning. I know they are all facing difficult decisions right about now.
  4. Maybe Abrazo should try calling Alumni that have already experienced those "firsts" about toddler adoptions. If the alumni marked on their original form that they were willing to consider toddler adoption (as we were), their files should be marked, or listed somewhere, in case something like this comes up again. At least that way the BP has more opportunities to speak with families. I really hope that mom finds what she is looking for. Please keep us up to date on her progress!
  5. Thanks for the wisdom Elaine. We are no longer PIW's, but we will be adding to our family someday (hopefully next year). Your words encourage me that it won't have to be a baby we add, but maybe a precocious toddler!
  6. No offense taken Jada. You keep right on trucking girl! Good luck on your quest to foster/adopt. Jay and I went through those hoops several years ago before we found Abrazo. We still hope to foster/adopt through the state system, but not until we are a little older and wiser (like you!).
  7. Four Full-Time Nannies AND a daycare center??? Do these poor children ever even see her??? Isn't there a law about adopting so many children so close together?
  8. Great thread Claudia! I agree with you. It is really hard to be an adoptive parent. Not only are the expectations higher for us as parents, but the losses involved in our family are constantly put before us like flags marking our differences. My BP's loss in constantly in my thoughts. I agonize for them and the losses they must feel. I pray constantly that they can find peace with their decision and somehow we can get through it together. I worry about hte losses my daughter will feel. Everytime we get together with our families I am reminded that she is seperate from us biologically because our families are trying SO HARD to make sure she isn't "Can you believe how much she looks like you?" "It's best to not have contact with her BP's so she won't be confused as to who her family really is..." I know she will wonder where she came from and I hope to have answers for her when the questions come. My peers let me know how alien our family is with comments like "I know it was really good for you guys, but I could NEVER give up one of mine. I don't know how anyone could." which makes me feel even MORE unworthy of the family that I have. Like I am some kind of outsider to this whole parenting thing. Every question I have as a new mommy gets scrutinized through a lens of "where did this come from? Is this normal or adoption related?" Infertility junk rears its ugly head every so often too, just for kicks. If I only had biological children I wouldn't have all these worries and losses. Maybe next time we should try harder for a biological child instead of adopting (no worries. DH put a firm foot down about that one! ) And while I agree that BP losses are greater than ours, I also believe that our losses are not given as much credit as they deserve. AP's struggle too. We may not have lost as much as BP's, but we have endured losses that are ever before us as well. Our parenting methods are far different from our biological peers. Our worries and struggles have added dimensions. Our parenting is under constant scrutiny by ourselves and others. And through it all, I think we will always wonder..What if....
  9. Congratulations to all! God is Good!
  10. Congratulations!!! Enjoy your time together as a newly created family! Many blessings to you all!
  11. I read an article this weekend about Queen Latifah adopting domestically through the foster care system. She said she understood that people adopted internationally because in the US birthparents have 3 years to change their minds, but she felt like there were plenty of kids at home that needed a second chance too. I applaud her efforts, however, I am a little worried about the statement that parental rights are not terminated for THREE YEARS. What state is she adopting from? I hope this doesn't discourage other adoptive parents from seeking domestic adoptions.
  12. Congratulations to the newest baby BOY!! Very exciting!
  13. Beautiful post Jenny. Thanks for sharing your heartbreaking experience with us. I look forward to following your journey to expand your family! I agree with Mary Helen. We all reach that point to end fertility treatments in our own times. Some of us go much further than others, and that's OK. If you stop before your ready you will always wonder "what if..."
  14. Congrats to the newest family!! Cherish this time together!
  15. Wow Linda. So many changes in such a short time span. I don't know if I can answer your questions, but maybe I can help a little. I would not allow anyone to pressure you right now about membership. If they try, explain that you are experiencing a great personal upheaval just now and can't commit to anything. If that isn't good enough for them, perhaps that is not the right place for you. Church attendance is a very personal thing. It seems like you know the good and bad parts of all three churches you are currently attending. If you feel comfortable where you are, I would stick with it. I would, however, investigate doctrinal issues. You may find that the Methodist church believe and practice things that you are uncomfortable with (I have friends who were raised Baptist, then married Methodist men, and subsequently had to do some real soul searching before finding a church home). It would be a shame to commit to this new church and then find out you had some conflicting ideologies (such as who can practice communion, what is baptism for, how is baptism performed, etc.). If you are comfortable with the answers you receive to these questions then the churches are on an equal playing field. If not, at least you can narrow the field of potential churches. Divorce is a terrible thing. You and your family are in such turmoil right now, I hate to see church be part of that turmoil. Church should be your shelter in the storm. Find somewhere that is YOUR shelter. Your daughter will find friends wherever you chose. You need to look out for yourself right now. If you have a warm, supportive group of friends somewhere, stick with them. I have found that when I can't carry a heavy load, I look to my friends to help me. I was a Baptist as a teenager and my husband was raised Church of Christ. When we married we visited congregations of both denominations, and investigated both the Methodist church and Presbyterian Church too. We eventually joined the Church of Christ because we felt most connected with the people there. A church is made up of the people that attend there. If there are no doctrinal problems, then feel free to worship where you best fit in. Our church has been through many changes in the last 9 years, but we have stuck with it because of our social support network there. They have brought us through a lot of storms in our lives. I also think God honors your search. He will guide you to where you can best be served for now, and where you can best serve later. I am thankful that you are looking for churches and not giving up all together. I am so sorry for your situation. I will pray for your family right now. Not just for the divorce, but also in this new search for a church home. Blessings to you, Tina
  16. We were warned about this when we were investigating international adoption. One agency warned us that they advised all their parents to take at least $10,000 as a "bribe" to get the child they wanted. They told us that the same pictures were sent out to several different parents and the "highest" bidder won the children. We left that agency and didn't return! We are so THANKFUL for ABRAZO!!!
  17. Welcome baby Nicholas!! I can't wait to see his sweet face at the next MAMS!! May the Lord of the Heavens fill your lives with peace and joy during this time.
  18. What a wonderful story for this little angel to tell! Many congratulations to all those involved!
  19. Congratulations! Boys are SO fun! (I have two brothers )
  20. Congrats to the newest Abrazo family!! I can't wait to meet them at Camp!
  21. I know you do girl..you're one of the ones I was thinking of in regards to that magic ball.
  22. I think I should clarify here that I did NOT mean I wanted to know the future of the child's health. I have total faith that God provided the child that we were meant to parent, no matter what. There are no guarantees in life and that includes parenting. I don't have any problem with that aspect of the adoption story. The questions related to the adoption were a difficult aspect of our adoption journey for me. I didn't WANT to make all these choices. Biological parents don't get asked what kind of child they give birth to, and I didn't want to make those choices either. What agency, International/domestic, Race, Gender, Mental disabilities, Physical Disabilities, drug use, alcohol use, contested placement, etc. were all questions we had to answer before we could even finish our homestudy. I wanted to make decisions on a case by case basis, depending on my relationship with the birthmother. Thankfully, Jay is much better at setting limits than I am or we never would have finished our homestudy. I want to know what was in the case as far as birthparents go. I want to know WHO the right match was and WHEN it was coming. I HATED the not knowing part of the adoption story. I agonize to see friends go through disrupted matches and or long waits. I wish there was a magic ball that would reveal the right match and the timing of it. It would certainly stop a lot of heartache.
  23. I see your point Elizabeth. The thing I hate about that game (and the adoption game, for that matter) is that no one (other than God) knows what is in your own case. It would be so much easier if you just knew what you were holding before deciding how to play! (Can you tell I HATE surprises?)
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