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tksimmons02

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Posts posted by tksimmons02

  2. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    This reminds me of a discussion we had repeatedly with a close family member before we adopted.

    She kept saying "I just couldn't love one that didn't come from me. I'm sure you will be fine, but I can't love someone that isn't blood."

    To which we responded "Are you related to your husband?" :blink::unsure::blink:

    She adores Makenzie now, but she still doesn't "get" why we want to know Makenzie's birth family.

  3. Is Adoption the Wrong Choice?

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Texas has the highest repeat teen pregnancy rate in the country, according to the Annie E. Casey Foundation.

    Why aren't state foundations doing more to help this problem? Is there any education about adoption or long-lasting birth control?

    I read both articles about Amanda and it just breaks my heart. She is giving herself no hope, and her children even less. I wish someone would talk to her and help her make a life plan!

  4. ThirstQuenchers: Encouragement for the Parched

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    God's Mission: Adoption

    by Max Lucado

    When we come to Christ, God not only forgives us, he also adopts us. Through a dramatic series of events, we go from condemned orphans with no hope to adopted children with no fear. Here is how it happens. You come before the judgment seat of God full of rebellion and mistakes. Because of his justice he cannot dismiss your sin, but because of his love he cannot dismiss you. So, in an act which stunned the heavens, he punished himself on the cross for your sins. God’s justice and love are equally honored. And you, God’s creation, are forgiven. But the story doesn’t end with God’s forgiveness.

    For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God (Rom. 8:15–16 NASB).

    But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, in order that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons (Gal. 4:4–5 NASB).

    It would be enough if God just cleansed your name, but he does more. He gives you his name. It would be enough if God just set you free, but he does more. He takes you home. He takes you home to the Great House of God.

    Adoptive parents understand this more than anyone. I certainly don’t mean to offend any biological parents—I’m one myself. We biological parents know well the earnest longing to have a child. But in many cases our cribs were filled easily. We decided to have a child and a child came. In fact, sometimes the child came with no decision. I’ve heard of unplanned pregnancies, but I’ve never heard of an unplanned adoption.

    That’s why adoptive parents understand God’s passion to adopt us. They know what it means to feel an empty space inside. They know what it means to hunt, to set out on a mission, and take responsibility for a child with a spotted past and a dubious future. If anybody understands God’s ardor for his children, it’s someone who has rescued an orphan from despair, for that is what God has done for us.

    God has adopted you. God sought you, found you, signed the papers and took you home.

    gray]From The Great House of God

    Copyright (W Publishing Group, 1997) Max Lucado

    Beautiful sentiment. I needed this today.

  5. The Bounty Curse

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    We took a Dave Ramsey class several years ago at church. In it, he talked about a children's money program that he has developed.

    The gist is this: Don't give your children an allowance. Let them earn commission. Give them specific chores worth specific dollar amounts (based on age) and let them earn their own money. Every week, pay them and let them see exactly how much that is. Have them divide their income into thirds = 1/3 charity,; 1/3 savings; 1/3 BLOW - whatever they want to use it for. When your child asks for some toy or something other than holidays, tell them to save up for it and MAKE THEM DO IT. Don't give them the last $20.00 just to let them get it (which is probably hard). Make them earn every penny (including taxes) for their purchase.

    Of course, Dave sells books and a program kit to help you through it: http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/Youth_Resou...ashbook?AFID=17

    But he also has a website just for kids: http://kids.daveramsey.com/

    We plan on implementing this system with Makenzie as soon as she is old enough to "get it". Probably in a few months when her birthday rolls around. It's the best way I've heard on how to teach her the value of money.

  6. The Bounty Curse

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    It is certainly a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I have been criticized for not buying Makenzie more stuff. She really doesn't have many toys. She has plenty of clothes, but she is nearly out by the end of the week (which is fine with me). But I would rather fall too far the opposite of spoiling than over the other way (if that makes sense).

    We were very poor growing up. Toys and things were only purchased for holidays. We didn't get something every time we went to Wal-Mart. I don't think Makenzie needs that either. She doesn't have many toys, but she mostly plays with "real" stuff anyway. She has a ball unloading all the boxes out of my pantry. She likes pulling out all our mixing bowls and stacking them (and re-stacking them :rolleyes: ). Her Christmas and birthdays are big now because that is really the only time she gets toys.

    As she gets older, I want her to know the value of things in her life. It's not her stuff that will mean a lot, it's her relationships with people and the difference she makes in her world. I want to keep her involved in helping others all year round, not just Christmas. Our church takes several mission trips each year to disadvantaged areas (Mexico, Africa, Ukraine, and the Gulf Coast recently). We plan on taking Makenzie on those when she is old enough.

    As she gets older, I intend for her holidays to be less and less about her, and more and more about others. I plan on letting her save money all year to buy special gifts for needy children. I LOVE shopping for disadvantaged children, and I hope to pass on that joy to her. Using her own money will give her ownership of it.

    I sound tougher than I am. Makenzie has plenty BELIEVE me. However, she does not have the excess that some of our peers provide their children. I don't fault them for that, I just make a different choice. I would rather spend my money traveling to see family & friends and helping others than having a home full of toys.

    Great discussion Elizabeth!

  11. Honoring Birth Siblings

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted · Edited by tksimmons02

    Kay,

    I have been looking for books about your topic and haven't seen anything. If you find something, please post it, as we would like to buy a copy as well.

    I wouldn't think The Night You Were Born would be good, because it is all about the AP's experience and journey to a new baby in their life.

    I just ordered a book by Mr. Rogers (my favorite person :) ) called Let's Talk About It: Adoption. It's not really geared toward birth siblings either, but it does show pictures of families and talks about how families are formed in very different ways.

    Perhaps you could just get birth siblings a book about families such as Miss Spider, or something more age appropriate for them? I know of a couple of elementary age/chapter books that deal with adoption themes.

    I'll be glad to pass on what I know! Just PM me.

  13. Nursery Notes

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Dear God,

    Please give the comfort that passes all understanding for this courageous mom. Help her heart to heal. Give her peace as she walks through this sorrow with you by her side. Bless her Lord with abounding joy after a time of healing. Let Your assurance fill her with comfort.

    Give these children your peace and understanding. Help them to realize that their mother loves them so much, she is willing to sacrifice everything for them. Give them extra love and blessings from above. Comfort their precious hearts as they grieve all that they knew.

    Be with these new AP's. Give them an extra measure of patience and fortitude to withstand the coming storm. Help them to love these children beyond any measure of reason. Abide with these AP's as they try to incorporate these sweet babies into their homes, and their dear momma into their family.

    Comfort them all Dear Lord as they go through this time of transition.

  16. Home Study

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I guess it would be best for us to start looking to start over if we were to go through a Texas agency. Our previous homestudies were expressly for TN, so those studies probably wouldn't be in the format TX needs. ARGH! There is so much to think about and process!!!

    Not necessarily! There are social workers here who work on TX standards for those of us going through Abrazo. They would be more than happy to "get you up to date" I'm sure!

  17. Nursery Notes

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Stacie,

    I couldn't agree with you more. Makenzie is 19 months old now, and she is SO MUCH more fun now than in the beginning.

    We hope to adopt an older child next time, and we have discussed this situation, but the timing is just not right for us.

    Makenzie had a 5 minute tantrum this morning because I made her wear a sweater (it was 40 degrees outside). I couldn't handle two more in that mindset right now.

    However, if I was still a PIW, I would jump on this. What a blessing these children will be to some wonderful family.

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