Jump to content

tksimmons02

Forum eLite
  • Posts

    2,878
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    9

Posts posted by tksimmons02

  1. My heart has been so burdened by this situation. I pray that this precious woman learns to respect herself as much as she obviously respects Abrazo. I pray that the right family comes along to love both the baby, and her first mom.

  2. My advice

    1. God's timing is PERFECT. Your child will come to you EXACTLY when he/she is supposed to and not a moment before. RELAX. You will not "miss" your child because of a homestudy glitch or badly timed vacation.

    2. Talk to your families now about what open adoption is and isn't. Get them ready for it. Talk about it often. It is a difficult concept for most people, and a simple explaination really won't do it. Live it before your child comes home.

    3. Read parenting books. Adoption is great, but you need to know how to care for a newborn AND what to expect before you can talk about adoption!

    4. Don't think about it too much. You can drive yourself CRAZY contemplating possible scenarios. Take each day as it comes, and BREATHE!

  3. We are lifting up this little boy and his precious mom. May they both find the peace they so deserve.

    I surely pray many of our wonderful PIW's have submitted themselves for this special situation. Our daughter is almost 2, and it is a magical age.

  4. I gotta brag on my hubby a little.

    He was interviewed for an article in Physician's Practice. The article was the "cover story" for this issue. Jay is quoted extensively and is used as an example of what an IT guy should be. The article details what Jay does for his company, and shows of his knowledge of the latest medical software and technologies.

    I know he's fabulous, but it is pretty cool to see it in print!

  5. I don't have a problem with incentives based on special needs children (medical problems, etc,). I have a huge problem with incentives based soley on skin color.

    I had the awesome opportunity to hear some fabulous momma's talk about this very topic this weekend. These ladies opened my eyes to the messages we are sending (albeit however innocently). It hurts my hearts for them.

    Like it or not, adoption isn't cheap. I don't begrudge our agency, because I think they do it honestly. Placement costs are based on need and situation.

    I do resent other agencies that have price lists for babies and list them like products. Those agencies give adoption a bad name, and give me a lot more discussions to have with my little girl some day.

  6. We as a society give people financial incentives to "do the right thing" all the time -- how many of us take tax deductions for our charitable contributions, for example? -- and I think that financial incentives are often more effective and more honest than emotional or guilt-based incentives.

    This is what makes us different. I don't give to charities because I get a tax deduction. I give to causes that I passionately believe in. My donation is my effort to make a difference with the limited funds that I can provide. I don't even keep records for tax purposes (sorry Anthony :o:unsure: ). Much of what we give is untraceable, because it doesn't matter where it came from, as long as it helps.

    I am offended by breaking down the costs of adoption based on race for many reasons, and the biggest one is the "financial incentive" that you refer to.

    Adopting transracially is not an easy thing. Choosing your family based on "what you can afford" is irresponsible, and shouldn't be encouraged.

    I don't think emotional or guilt based reasons are appropriate either. Adding to your family through adoption should be done carefully, and deliberately. If a financial incentive is what you base your decision on, I fear the consequences for the child and the family.

    I don't have answers here. I just know that it hurts my heart that certain children (like my own) could be considered "easier to place" because of what she looks like. I HATE the message that that sends. She is certainly no better than children of other ethnicities, nor should she cost more. It is offensive to me that people would pay more for her based on appearances.

    It hurts my heart that my dear friend's children may be considered "hard to place" just because they are darker than their mommies. They are unique, wonderful children with fabulous parents. Their worth to society can't be measured.

    Giving financial incentives based on income of the AP's seems much more fair to me than basing the incentive on the color of the child placed.

  7. The adoption fee is $40,000 for both out of state families and Texas residents. We do have special situations, in which we consider an infant or child "hard to place". This usually means that we do not have an adoptive family waiting which meets the parameters for a specific match. In this case, we can offer a "hard to place" fee.

    For a fully Hispanic child the fee would be $34,000. For a biracial (African-American/Caucasian) child the fee would be 26,000. For a full African-American child the fee would be $20,000 to $23,000 depending on expenses.

    I find this unbelievably disturbing. Children are priceless, regardless of color. That this Dallas agency feels it appropriate to break down the value of a placement based on the racial combinations is absolutely horrifying to me.

  8. Angela and Audra went out today to visit a juvenile facility at the request of a caseworker there, who said they'd previously referred their cases to another local agency, one that told incarcerees they weren't entitled to know where their babies would be going and wouldn't let them see their infants after delivery. (As if their newborns are any less entitled to the comfort of antepartum contact with or future access to their birthmoms, just because of what they did to get locked up?!) Furthermore, the caseworker mentioned, that agency never had further contact with their mothers, nor provided them any further services (ie., counseling) after relinquishment. As archaic as this seems, it is apparently the norm for many other licensed agencies. My heart goes out to any inmate who must make such difficult decisions under such inhumane circumstances, with adoption "professionals" who do nothing to make the placement experience any less bleak and disempowering than it already is for them! :angry:

    God bless Abrazo for bringing comfort and hope to the down trodden.

    Everyone makes mistakes. It shouldn't mean you are less than human.

    It makes me SICK to think how these girls were treated (girls because they're jueveniles). If anything, juvenile offenders need MORE comfort and MORE hope so that they have a chance of actually being "rehabilitated".

  9. Thank you Father for keeping my family safe tonight. I have never been so terrified in all my life.

    I literally saw a tornado form, and drop from the sky from my kitchen window. I only had time to grab Makenzie and head to the laundry room. I just sat with her in the floor and prayed (and played with Pooh stickers :rolleyes: ).

    Our home is fine, we are fine, and we are feeling very well blessed tonight.

  10. Beautifully said John.

    We have actually started visiting other churches since that incident (not just over that, there were numerous other problems). I feel kinda bad now for not trying to be a better influence!

    The people on this Forum inspire me to be my best every day.

    I am so thankful for this place. :wub:

×
×
  • Create New...