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dbernados

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Posts posted by dbernados

  3. What's Your Ideal Situation In Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    As I shake my head and say out loud, "By the grace of God..." How many of US are or where "those types of people"?

    I try very hard to remember that one decision or series of decisions can lead ANYONE down a very different path than they imagined.

    That is exactly how I feel...only by the grace of God did my life turn out the way it did. I have made my fair share of mistakes and I think no human is perfect. "First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" Matthew 7:5

    This topic reminds me when we were PIW and I got a referral to call a young pregnant girl in North Texas. She asked me "My mom wants to know what religion you are?" I replied "Catholic," and the girl said "Well, we're Baptist." I knew right then we didn't fit their "ideal" image of a Baptist or at least Protestant Evangelical couple. Jeff asked me later why I just didn't reply "Christian." I knew the next question would be "what church," with the same outcome. I was perceptive enough to gleen from the way the conversation was going that her parents had strict "requirements" for the religious affliation of any perspective adoptive parent(s), and we clearly didn't meet those requirements.

    Of course God had a plan, and Catherine's birthmother and birthfather are both Catholic. They wanted their child to grow up in the traditions of the Catholic Church. Whenever Catherine complains that "church is boring" or she does not want to enroll in another year of Religious Education, I remind her of the trust her birthparents' put in us to "bring her up in the Faith" and the promises we made to God at her baptism to do so.

    Where is the 'like' button on the forum? :D I like that you are honoring her birthparents wishes.

  9. In Memoriam

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted · Edited by dbernados

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine how you all must feel. Know that you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes what God does doesn't make sense to us but he knows the greater plan for all of our lives. Peace be with you all.

    Much love,

    Donna

  12. Infertility Qualification

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Charu,

    If I am not mistaken we just send all of our fertility records to them. By the time we decided to start the adoption process 4 years had passed since our last procedure and we had moved 3 times since then. I don't think it would have been easy to get a letter at that point. Anyway, my medical records had all of the information supporting why we could not get pregnant. Good luck!

    Donna

  14. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by dbernados

    I read the following on People.com this morning (didn't even know he was in the adoption process - shows how much I know):

    Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, adopted a baby girl, the Two and a Half Men Emmy winner's rep confirms to PEOPLE.

    The infant, named Daisy, was born Aug. 11 and is the first child for Cryer, 44, and Joyner, 42, who married in June 2007.

    The actor also has a son, Charlie, 9, from a previous marriage.

  15. Baby Announcements 2009

    in New Arrivals

    Posted

    I am so excited about the news of the newest Abrazo babe!

    Andy & Jill,

    Although the journey was not always easy now that your beautiful daughter is in

    your arms it makes it all worthwhile. Enjoy this special time with her and her

    first family if at all possible. It is a time for wonderful memories before the

    hustle and bustle of home life have to return.

    Congratulations!

    donna

  16. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Hi Mari,

    Thanks for giving us an update. I, like most of the forumites, have been wondering what was happening and if you guys were okay. It is great that you both have taken up Zumba. I hear that it is a lot of fun and a great way to get some excercise. I am going to start a workout program soon and am looking forward to the results but not looking forward to the pain that comes with getting to the results you want. :blink:

    Please keep us updated on Lauranda's progress.

    Donna

  17. The Extra Mile

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    Like everyone else has said I could go on and on about the ladies of Abrazo but the most recent thing that stands out to me was when we came to San Antonio to finalize Gavin's adoption. It was just after Camp Abrazo and of course the ladies were off on the following Monday which was when we finalized. Audra came to the court house to meet us even though she was techincally off from work. She went the extra mile to let us know that we were important and that she cared.

    Thanks Abrazo for all you do!

    Donna

  18. Baby Announcements 2009

    in New Arrivals

    Posted

    I am in tears right now for the new families - Ric & Teresa and Erin & Mark. :rolleyes:

    I remember the overwhelming feeling like it was yesterday when we went to pick up our BOG, Ethan Ascher. The love is instant for him and his wonder birth family!

    We will keep all of you in our prayers as well as the birth families that made all of this possible.

    Congratulations!

    Donna

  22. Who Birthmoms Are

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted · Edited by dbernados

    Kristal,

    Thanks for clairifying your reasons as to why you placed Colby. I know that money is nice to have and you can make a lot more happen when money is readily available but it isn't everything. Life shouldn't revolve around material possessions (a lesson that I have recently had to learn the hard way), but around the people we love.

    Donna

  23. Positive Adoption Language

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I definitely don't think there is a "one" answer fits all in this circumstance. Something that might offend me might not offend the next 'adoptive' mother or something that might offend Dora might not offend the next 'birth' mother. I think it is something where we have to determine what fits in our relationship with our child(ren)'s first family and vice versa and then all other people around us have to accept that this is what we have decided for terminology for each other. People are all so different that this might be the only way to have a clear cut answer.

    My two cents for whatever that is worth. :D

  25. Positive Adoption Language

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Wexiled really - it sounds like their in some early century being sent out of a country never to be returned or something and simple parent - who would really want to be associated with these terms????

    The last one that really caught my eye was the "lost to adoption" referring to our children. Are they missing do we need to write a police report, did we lose them at the playground?

    Like I said WOW - I would be shocked if anyone ever made use of these "Honest Adoption Language" terms in my presence!

    And in a way isn't it? What does it say about a culture that says we need all this junk to be good parents when all you really need is love and time and milk. Diapers, formula, $15 toys are Western necessities, they aren't really required to be a good parent.

    Just because one parent has more money does not make them better or more fit.

    I guess I am a little confused so please help me out. Is the only reason why first parents place their children for adoption because they don't have money? Both Kristal and Jada made the comment so I guess I wanted some clarification from a first mother's point of view. I was under the impression, at least with Dora, that she placed Ethan and Gavin with us because she wanted them to have a mother and father together in the same home and many other reasons besides money. :unsure:

    Donna

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