Matthew and Betsy

Tears just came to my eyes as I saw your family picture with your sweet baby boy! Congratulations Mommy and Daddy! Blessings to you, your precious son, and his amazing birthfamily.

I too have never liked the term "gotcha." That word, like the article said, just makes me think of a possession. I too liken it to the word snatch. I guess to me using the word gotcha sounds more like it is about the adoptive parents and not child. We also celebrate Family Day on the day Avery's adoption was finalized. We do special things together as a family. Nothing fancy...this year we made blueberry pancakes, played in the backyard, danced, and went out for ice cream. Avery still talks about our Family Day even though these are things we might do on any day. For us, it's a day to celebrate our family and the love we have for each other. It's kind of like a day of Thanksgiving in a way. If we are blessed to have more children in our family, we will celebrate more family days each year.

Congratulations Suzi and Ben! What a wonderful family photo in the gallery! Many blessings to you, little Collin, and his sweet birthmother.

Blessings to sweet Sydney, and many congratulations to all who love and adore her!

Glenn, we are so very sorry. We are praying for God to wrap His arms around you and be with you now and in the days ahead.

Congratulations to all on your precious baby girl!

It's great to see you on the forum! We look forward to getting to know you and your family!

Blessings to you all!

Congratulations to all! Many blessings to the the new parents, the sweet little ones, and their loving birthparents.

Many blessings to Baby Jack and his loving family!

Many Congratulations!!!

Congratulations Mark and Laurie!!! We are so happy for you and your two sweet girls! Prayers for their birthmother and family.

Congratulations to all! Many blessings to sweet baby Ty and his precious family!

I would like to know the reason why...we refer to my best friend as uncle Jeremy. The kids love uncle Jeremy and I am not sure why them being adopted and refering to a family friend as uncle a bad thing. Jeremy and I are like brother and sister, I am even his best chick (man) for his wedding next week. Jeremy has told us on many occasions that he would do ANYTHING for our children, that's more than my brother in law would do and they call him uncle? I guess I am confused why that with adopted children you should only refer to aunts and uncles as such. (Ie don't refer to your friends as aunt and uncle to your child Jennifer We too read this in one of the books about open adoption. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it had to do with how children who were adopted in an open adoption will have lots of family and it would help them in keeping track with the relatives in their lives. I wish I could remember the exact wording, but I think that's what it said.

Many blessings to sweet Jack and his wonderful family!

Boy oh Boy, it's been busy around here! Blessings to each of these sweet baby boys and all their loving families!

Congratulations on your sweet baby boy!!!

Wow! I just did some catching up, and there was lots of catch up on! First of all, Tina you did a great job! Way to go on standing up for what you believe in. As others have said, if even one person goes away having a different perspective on open adoption, then it was totally worth it. I feel so sad for the adoptive family at your church, their child's birthfamily, and the sweet child who will never know his or her roots. Ugh! And the agency??? What the heck??? Telling the birthmother to get over it!!! :angry: And yet again, I am so completely thankful for Abrazo!!! Melissa, your letter is wonderful. I hope your friend finds her way to the forum. After our most recent trip to see Avery's birthfamily, we received a comment from someone..."Oh, so you're still doing that?" It made me so mad! :angry: Still doing that??? I am pretty sure we have made it perfectly clear to EVERYONE that we hope to always have contact and visits and chats on the phone, share big news with each other, etc, etc, etc!!! It just seems that no matter how much we say and share about open adoption, some people just choose not to understand. All we can do is keep sharing.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer...you do what works for you and your family. Also, it's important to remember that often there are "our plans" and then there's "God's plans." The two don't always match, but the latter is always the best. I always wanted more than one child...six at one time, then four...by the time we adopted Joshua I was just thrilled that I got to be a mommy! I wanted for nothing else...at least for a little while. About the time the tug came for the second child (Joshua was around 2), I started taking care of my 6 month old nephew while his mommy and daddy worked...phew, hard work...two under 2!! So that urge was squelched for at least a year. Not to mention, my husband was not on board! When Joshua was three, Larry rather hesitantly said okay. We went with a local agency (more of a crisis pregnancy center who is licensed to do adoption) at that point because we had been active with them before Abrazo the first time. It was kind of a half-hearted effort because they really don't do a lot of placements. Most of their clients choose to parent. Fast forward 18 months, and we decided to go with another local agency through which my sister had adopted her son. We chose them over Abrazo mainly because of costs of doing adoption locally vs. across state lines. It took another six months for me to get all our paperwork in (holidays, birthdays, moving into a new house, basically life was so busy and the urgency was not there as much as the first time around). By the time we were approved and active Joshua was 5...match and placement took place a year later and he was then 6. A lot can be said for having that age difference...Joshua is independent and doesn't "need" me as much as a toddler would. He loves his little sister and can be quite helpful with her. He can entertain her and get her to stop crying quicker than anyone! Of course I have to remind him not to drop her when he tries to pick her up! There is no jealousy. I feel like I really enjoyed Joshua and all his phases and firsts, and now I can really enjoy Lydia. Of course, having them closer in age helps when they are able to play together and entertain each other. For six years (not counting play dates) I was Joshua's playmate. I enjoyed it immensely but was not always able to drop everything and play. So sometimes he got lonely. He still needs other playmates because Lydia is not old enough. But he absolutely adores his little sister, and does enjoy just being in her company sometimes. My advice...if you feel the tug, start going in that direction. Life's circumstances and God (perhaps through life's circumstances!) will guide you on the path you need to be on. The result will be exactly what is needed for your family. I know I wouldn't change a thing in our winding road! I am just now reading your post...thanks so much! Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom with us!

This is such an important topic. Our society as a whole is in a very "it's all about me and what I can get" state of mind. We have to be dilligent about teaching children to be thankful for everything when they are getting so many messages for more, more. I think it is important for our children to see service to others as just part of life. Just what you are supposed to do. There are so many things we can do even when they are young like visiting a retirement home or Alzheimer's center. The faces of the residents light up with joy just seeing a little one smile and wave at them. Reading children's books with them, singing, or just visiting for awhile is so appreciated and teaches our children that it is important to take time for others. Something easy to do that can be done at any time. I have already learned from you all, and I look forward to hearing more!

Many congratulations to all the new families!!! Your pictures in the gallery are just beautiful. So very much to be thankful for!!! Blessings to the new mommies, daddies, and siblings, the precious babies, and their loving birthfamilies.

Many Congratulations on your sweet baby girl!!!!! Briton, you are going to be such a great big sister!!!!!

Wow! So much happening in Abrazoland lately! Many Congratulations to all the new parents of these precious babies!

Congratulations Bob and Diane!!! Your family picture just warms my heart!