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mommy2

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  1. There are some birthfamilies that want thier children placed with families that have other children and birthfamilies that want thier baby to be the first or the only child. It is not harder, but just like with any adoption it sometimes takes awhile to find the perfect BP/AP match. The adoption of our second child was relatively easy and it was an easier adjustment for us, because we knew what it was like to have a baby and the fear of the unknown was not there....I have always said, if I had known that motherhood the second time around would be so easy, I would have had the second one first Hope this helps. Jeannie
  2. It's so funny to hear other women talk about the same things that I once felt. From the moment my older son was born, a second child was on my mind. Over and over again I tried to tell myself that one child was ok. Finally, that inner voice got so loud I had to listen. We have a second child (thanks Abrazo) and I feel very content with our family. My husband reminded me not too long ago, that when we were pulling onto the freeway on our way home from Abrazo with our new little Michael and our 3 year old, Andrew, I said, " we are finally a family". He of course, said we were always a family, but it just seemed "right" for us to have 2 kids. I have absolutely no desire to have any more kids. I guess those inner voices are meant to be listened to. I am so glad I listened to mine. Mommy2
  3. I think "Feeling Blessed" has hit the nail on the head. The Birthfamily/Adoptive Family relationship is not at all like a divorced family relationship. Our relationship with our birthmom is that of friends. Our conversations are two mommys talking. She has an older child, and we have an older child in addition the child that was born to her. We trade mommy secrets, we vent when our older boys are giving us fits... There are times that I sense the sadness in her voice. She has sustained a terrible loss and it hurts her. I hurt for her. I know that she knows she is is very much a part of our lives and she has a very important spot in our baby's life... she is his beginning. "Concerned" it is good that you're asking these questions... all of us on this forum have insight into the adoption process. Please continue to ask your questions.... and if you are considering adoption, as scary as it seems it is really one of the "coolest" experiences that you will ever go through. Good luck, Mommy2
  4. HI! We were one of the very fortunate families that were placed very quickly. We were in the August 2001 orientation group and we brought our little boy home in December. We live in Texas, but our placement was right around Christmas and we flew to "the Grandma's" for Christmas. My brother in law who is a pediatrician shamed us a little for taking our baby on the plane so soon, but it all turned out well. The Abrazo crew is great and adoption is not nearly as scary as most think. Keep thinking positive and soon you will have a little bundle of joy to complete your family. Best of luck. Mommy2
  5. Infertility treatments can be (most of the time are) as expensive or more expensive than adoption. The benefit of adoption it is not "if you get a baby, but when" (To quote Elizabeth) We have done it both ways and yes, there is expense involved, but speaking for all the adoptive moms and dads, it is well worth it. What we feel for our children is priceless.
  6. Thank you Lisa. I am speechless. Jeannie
  7. Every post that I read from the birthmom's makes me feel so honored to be the adoptive mom to a very special woman's child. Jada and Lisa you guys (and all the others out there) are so special.
  8. Smitty, As a mother of one biological child and one adopted child, I can say that the love that you feel for a child, no matter how he/she entered your lives is incredible. The birth of my son was one of the happiest days of my life and I felt that same type of joy when my second son was placed in my arms by Elizabeth at Abrazo. As for relationships with birthparents, you realize through the adoption process that they are the real heros in the adoption triad. Most are faced with situations that if they could do ANYTHING to change it they would. They have to make the decison to put thier children's needs before their own. Over time, it is usually the adoptive families that want to keep up with the birthfamilies. Adoption can seem scary and full of unknowns, but it isn't. It is as special as bringing into the world a biological child. I agree with the person that posted earlier that maybe you need to take some time and let your infertility hurts heal. We have all been in your shoes, and understand the desire to be a parent. I wish you the best in your journey. mommy2
  9. Hi, I am a parent in waiting with Abrazo and my first child was concieved via an egg donor. Egg donor IVF is very successful and we are blessed with a wonderful little boy. We have chosen to adopt a second child because we realized that it does not matter (to us) how kids enter our lives. The egg donation process is a little like adoption in how donors are chosen by the recepient family. With our donor everything was anonymous. The trend is moving towards picture profiles and open medical histories on the donors. The only drawback that we found was that it is never a 'sure thing' even though egg donor IVF is very successful there is always a chance that a pregancy will not occur. I wish your friends the best of luck with whatever they decide to do.
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