MarceloandClaudia

Blessings to you and your Birthfamily. Enjoy your new life together. Claudia

Chris, Gabriela and Austin, What blessed news! Here's to a strong relationship with your new family and a future filled with meaningful memories.

Dulce is just beautiful and what a joy to hear her Birthmother received the best Christmas gift yet!

Thanks Elizabeth for elaborating. I couldn't agree more! We do have different choices and trying to figure out how to make decisions based on such different choices is sometimes very tough. Thank you for validating the fact that adoption circumstances can be very different. I think we all need that reassurance, no matter how much experience we may think we have. And, I know the Forum isn't a counselling area, but I do look to you and the rest of the Abrazo chicks for advice and knowledge since you ARE the experts. I may not get exactly what you are saying right a way and I may not always agree with everything adoption experts think or say, but I do appreciate the education and information. Claudia

______________________________________________________________________________ Elizabeth, Thanks for the link and what a beautiful picture of child and Mom! Now, my concern is that as much as I can empathize with how all the justifications make adoption professional's eyes roll, I worry that in itself doesn't make anything better. I know I have my own frustrations about openess to different situations in adoption and probably I would describe it as eye rolling too! Having personally been posed with the situation of considering a special needs placement, I sometimes even question myself as to why that placement may have not been the one for us etc. I sometimes wonder if it truly is because a child was special needs, medically, timing, not feeling connected in that way etc. Just as we came to a transracial adoptioin in time, and now feel so strongly about the possibility of adopting fully AA, I wonder if it isn't that way or couldn't be that way for a special needs placement? I don't have the answers to this question and therefore, I am asking it to you or other adoption professionals out there. Of course, trying to justify your reasons shouldn't be done if it's your way out, but finding your reason is very important to growth. I know I will never have all the answers or the right ones that will make others comfortable. All I know is that when you feel confident that you are open to growth and learning then no justification should be needed. I do enjoy talking things through though, so I can get to the root of the why's. I hope that when you hear those responses from adoptive applicant's, you don't roll your eyes before talking it through. I know that when I hear the uncomfortable justifications about not wanting to adopt out of a family's ethnicity, I want to roll my eyes so bad, but then I remember where we were at one time too. I truly would like to know how to get there... even though I know it may not be overnight. It's not a black and white answer in my opinion. Just me, Claudia

Nichole and Erik and Mandy and Dane, congratulations on the new additions. What great news! Marcelo, Claudia and Dante

Lisa or anyone, Where did you go to get the new fingerprints done? Just wondering, so when it's our turn, we aren't behind. Thanks, Claudia

After reading everyone's posts, I realized how our "fertility situations" are so similar, yet so different. I think, for me, I've gone in stages. After my third ectopic pregnancy, enough was enough, gave us time to heal and moved toward adoption with confidence, yet fear. (Confidence that it was the right thing, yet fear of the unknown) Then we adopted and I felt as if no other way could be just as right. I also went through the stage of how selfish it would be to even want to ever try to conceive when the option of adoption was in the world. I thought, why would I even want to populate the world more when there are children who need us just as much a we needed and wanted them. Strange thoughts, I know. Now, like I said before, I do feel at peace with what life offers and that is why I say I go with the flow (or atleast try my best to, when my obsessiveness doesn't kick in). Moving from infertility to adoption CAN be easier if you hit a brick wall. It was easier for us to accept infertility due to physical and emotional strain, point blank. The reason I guess I still think of the possibilities is because I'm still in that child bearing age, I still have a uterus and ovaries and the reason I was deemed "infertile" was because I had one fallopian tube left and it didn't work correctly. Oh, and also, we didn't go through IVF or any of those treatments. So, as I mentioned at the beginning, we start at different places, roam around to different feelings, but hopefully for our sake and our children's sake, we have accepted our infertility as it is, and are at peace with whatever situation we are in. I have to say, I truly enjoy these topics, because it takes me back to where we started, all the feelings in between and I am able to reflect on how far we have come. Claudia

I feel like I have grieved infertility as healthy as you can. I have many days where I feel no need to ever explore those options again, and yet there are times that I think about if we did? I guess because, I don't ever want to close any door completely knowing that there is a plan and it's not for me to to decide what it is. I kinda have chosen to go with the flow of life........... Claudia

O.K., I understand there are policies to follow, but it truly makes me so angry that there are so many road blocks to adopting sometimes. Good people want a family and want to parent, (and will be great parents for that matter) and children need a forever family... and yet, we still see all these problems. I would have a lot more to say, but there is no one to bleep me out. I wish this family the best in completing their financial goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just the thought of Abrazo NOT being the fit for us, gives me the willies! I couldn't imagine building our family any other way except through open adoption with Abrazo. At the same time, I can also understand how every family's situation is different and not every shoe can and will fit all of us all the time! Thanks Abrazo for showing us that just because it's not with you, doesn't mean it's not right! Claudia

Thanks Stork Central for those reminders of why we came into adoption and how important it is to re-focus constantly on the important stuff! Claudia

Hi everyone, I finally posted some pics of Dulce Elise under our album. Could not figure out how to put it under new arrivals.

I've promised Angela to get a picture of the family in sometime today. Marcelo has the camera and I'm trying to light a fire under him, so he can put it on today. I'll do my best. Claudia

Thanks Elizabeth. Our lives keep growing and evolving in just the right ways by the ones who touch them. I'm glad there was a happy every after for this family and for their very special child. I have 3 special photos of my time with this perfect family. I wanted to wait and let Mommie and Daddy send their own first. When I have a chance, I'll put mine on if that's o.k. Claudia

With such special feelings in my heart as a child finds HER forever family and a loving couple has the blessing of becoming a Mommie and Daddy. This is what's adoption is all about. With so much love and admiration for you "sweet" child! Love, hugs and forever admiration, Claudia

I think that it is great that God calls us to open our hearts to adoption, but it should never be because you are trying to score points or something. Also, infertility is a very difficult thing to deal with, but like it is said adoption doesn't cure it. For me, infertility opened me up to truly looking at where my life could go from there. It helped get us to where we are, but wasn't the reason we adopted. I'm sure there are many with fertility issues where adoption isn't even considered. I wanted to adopt to be a parent, to have A child and the other stuff like giving a child a home, doing something "good", well it can be all perceived like that, but the main thing is being a Mother and Father to Dante and Dante being our son period. I don't think anyone fits into a little box of the why's especially at the beginning etc., but yet, in the end, we hope that the decision to adopt, however it was made is healthy for all involved.

Martha, Thanks for being so open when you don't have to be. Your experience can help others realize that here there is nothing to be ashamed of. We ALL have fallen short of our own expectations, but that doesn't mean you can't try to make it right. There are things I have done that I am not so proud of and think O.K., I learned from that one and you just move forward. I hope this couple can do the same.

I don't know what to say except I feel for the couple and sorry they felt they needed to withhold this information.

Today, I thank God for such little angels that can teach us and bring us to places we could NEVER have imagined. May God bless each one with a MIRACLE in his own right.

It's a sad truth, but it happens in adoption every day, when babies of color wait in foster care for a family "willing" to adopt a child labelled "special needs" merely because of his/her racial background... and when (in a world full of infertile couples longing to adopt), birthmoms expecting black or biracial babies find so few "parents-in-waiting" willing to match with them because of their baby's skin color... I just had to reply because as much as it is sad to label a child special needs because of color, Marcelo and I look at it like, Wow we are the lucky ones. Being able to adopt over and over at a less cost for the child we REALLY want! Ouir children of COLOR will NEVER be special needs in our eyes that's all I can say. And, for the rest of my life I will preach how unique our diverse child Dante is and how he taught us to see COLOR in a different light!

Jennifer, What wonderful news! Alison, I'm glad you found peace after the storm. Blessings to all. Claudia

Even though I posted our Yard Sale results on our family thread, I thought I would mention it here as well in order to get those prospective AP's motivated. We got the idea of a family and friends yard sale from many of you on the Forum. We gave out a personal letter to our family letting them know we would be starting our second adoption early 2007. In the letter, I noted that we would be having a yard sale with proceeds to help with the adoption expenses. I just asked if they had any goods they wanted to rid their house of, we would appreciate the donation and be glad to pick them up. We also told close friends and co-workers. We never expected the return! Long story short, we made almost $1,000.00 in one day! Maybe, it's not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but I can think of many expensed it COULD cover. It's definately well worth it if you can get some help. Good luck on your journey! Claudia

Marcelo and I haven't even opened up for business... for the Yard Sale that is and we already made $100.00. My sister, future brother-in-law, sister-in-law and friend bought stuff. I gave them a discount of course, but they also insisted and me not going too cheap! My sister-in-law and I priced a lot of stuff last night and will continue tomorrow evening. So far, it looks good, but we'll see how the weather holds up. I'll let you know how it goes! Claudia

The preemie in the Valley has had several interested families call to inquire; at present, we are waiting on paperwork and homestudies before setting up calls with the birthmother. Please keep this little girl in your prayers, y'all! She is holding her own, but has a long way to go before any plans will be made to discharge her from the hospital. (Thanks go out to the Abrazomoms who are visiting the baby periodically on the agency's behalf! The hospital reluctantly consented to let a couple of our alum with nursing backgrounds into the nursery for contact visits, so they are playing the role of "fairy godmothers" until this little angel has a family all her own to be there for her.) [/i] Just stopping by this thread to see if there were any updates on these little angels! God must be watching over this "jewel"... I'm sure of it!