MarceloandClaudia
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Posts posted by MarceloandClaudia
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Each story is so unique and powerful in itself! Thanking God that he matched every family just as he did!
Doug and Jennifer, I don't think I can say enough how happy we are for all of you and how thankful we are to know you all.
Gina and Ernie, So glad everything worked out for all of you. Enjoy your little one and parenthood!
Claudia
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Marcelo, Claudia, Dante, Serenity Nicole and beautiful Birthmom,
What a beutiful family you have grown with God's blessings. May this new journey bloom into a lifetime of friendship and love!
Congrautlations to you all!!
Great big hugs to all of you! Thank you for always being so supportive. We love you.
Claudia
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I think about Dante's Birthsibling... I wonder if he is o.k., if he is happy and if he misses his Mother. He lives with his father. I wonder if his father will ever share with him that he has a sibling. I sure hope so, because I truly hope that one day when Dante is old enough that he will want to connect with him.
Claudia
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Elizabeth -
Does that mean if we wanted to update our homestudy if we wanted to be an againer we would need to do the entire thing again, physicals, etc. And, would we need to have Tyler go through everything since he is in the house too.
Mara,
We live in Texas and as Lisa V. stated, we'd scream if we got a call about a BOG Promesa! We'd probably run in circles before calling our SW. Anyway, we did need new physicals, insurance coverage letter, employer reference, FBI check, etc. It's all worth it to be an againer though. I'd do it a million times again to meet our children!!!!
Claudia
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I love Dante's Birthparent's for many reasons:
I love them as people... we connect on a higher level than just people who have things in common. We connect as friends.
I love them for placing their child's needs first... for wanting him to have more opportunity. I truly love Stephanie for knowing her childhood and life and knowing that she wanted more for Dante.
I love them for loving us, all of us.
I love them because they have taken the time to get to know each one of us.
I love them because they created a child we could have never created in our wildest dreams!
I love them because they taught us to open our minds to embracing new cultures in our home. They taught us something they may not even be aware of. They taught us that culture will not separate us, no matter what.......
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Can't wait to see the new family together. Congratulations!
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Paul or Beth,
I PM'd you yesterday. We miss you here on the Forum, but glad to see ya posting! Can you post some new pics of the kids? I'd love to see how much they have changed since we last saw you at Camp in 2005. We are having a blast with our toddler too!
Take Care,
Claudia
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Waiting patiently to hear who the newest parents will be!
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I read this post this morning and thought about us, Dante and his Birthmother. We actually talked immediately after Dante's birth about if she did become pregant again with an unplanned pregnancy. We have even talked about it recently. I would support her 100% in any decision she made wether to raise her child, place for adoption or consider placement with another family. Those are HER choices. Of course, I wouldn't refuse if she placed another darling child with us, but we know those are her decisions and hard ones to make. As she knows too well, we love her no matter what and nothing she ever CHOOSES will ever change that. Aferall, she already sacrificed so much and it ended up being the joy of our live. What a double edged sword?
Praying that ALL Birthmothers find the right family to raise THEIR child. Praying for this specific Birthmother that she feel peace with her choice.
Claudia
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Thank you so much for those words, Claudia. I know we have contemplated such a decision as this for some time now and continue with our soul searching right now. For us, it's not a question of whether we can love a toddler /older child or missing out on some of those firsts, but we carefully consider the dynamics of our family which includes two girls already.
Hope in MO
Hope,
Exactly... One of our greatest concerns with adopting a toddler is what has that child already experienced and what has he or she already been molded into. As much as I believe in the ability to still be influenced by our role modeling and what we share and expose them too, my inexperience lends its fears as well. How will an older child influence what we have already taught Dante. That's not to say an older toddler will be "bad" or anything. We just have to keep Dante's needs in the forefront as well (and not bite off more than we can chew). I wonder sometimes if my love for all is a bad thing at times. I wonder if I live in a la la world and then I tell myself that up until this point, I don't feel like we've made rash decisions about anything. There has to be a balance. Marcelo and I go back and forth about a lot and HE does balance me!
One of the things I pointed out recently is that amongst all his fears that he would also think about that child... waiting. Of course, we are improtant, but WE do want to be parents again and we ARE open to a lot. I say that because when we get that call about considering a match/phone call then he has to remember that WE already discussed it and WE are open. Sometimes, the fear allows him to forget.... 
It's hard all the way around, but I my hope and prayers are that BECAUSE we are open to what is meant to be that somehow with God's blessing everything will work out o.k. I still have lots of concerns and questions, but just as we did with an infant adoption, we can't let fear jar us up.
Claudia
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Karen,
I, of course don't have all the answers, but I think that the appointment you plan to make with the Pastor is such a great start and a huge leap. It's not easy to admit where we could have made a different choice. We aren't perfect and you based your decision on what you had experienced personally. You can't blame yourself for that one. The main thing is that you are trying to make changes that can better the current life of your children and their future.
Karen, I'll share why what you are doing is so important. Speaking like a child... I needed my Mom and Dad to show me God. I didn't ask them too, but I am thankful they gave it to me. It was a gift I can never, ever repay.................
Speaking personally, I can't imagine not having a relationship with Jesus. Granted, it took time to get here, but with all the struggles we endure in a lifetime and at times feeling so alone... I am so thankful that in the midst of it all, I was never alone. I had God to talk to and get me through pain when I thought there was no light. Now, I truly know that no matter what happens there has to be a lesson in it and that tomorrow WILL be a better day. Christ has helped me look at the good that can come from bad and that there will always be something to be thankful for. I pray that this is what we will teach Dante as he grows as a member of the body of Christ... I don't worry too much about pushing it on him. We plan to give him his space to find Christ by taking him to Church where he finds peace, understanding and closeness to God. If one day he chooses otherwise, that will be his decision. It just feels right to help him be a part of something that has enriched Marcelo and my life tremendously. I do understand what you mean about living your life as a Christian day by day. When I was a child, teenager and so on, my parent's took us to Church every Sunday and we were involved in the Youth Group etc. Sometimes, I would wonder what it was all for if my Mother was constantly yelling at home and arguing with my Dad for petty things. I now can appreciate that what they were trying to do was show us something to help us live life and that they too were and are imperfect trying to live a "good" life too. All we can do is keep trying.
I think one thing you can share with your daughter is that God loved us so much that his son Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice by dying on the cross so that we didn't have to.
Best wishes on your family's journey. Praying for you.
Claudia
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I think Marcelo and I would love to raise another child from birth, but we also realize that maybe there are other plans in store for us.Jesse and I have talked about adopting an "older" child on many occasions - from Honduras, from Colombia and, of course, from the U.S. I think when you've had the privilege to raise one (or two
) children from birth, the thought of not having all those "firsts" is much easier to handle. We are doing are best to let everything fall as it may with less intervention from our human hearts."Firsts" are what you make of them ... and missing those "firsts" will also be what you make of them. No denying it, "firsts" can be wonderful ... but the reality is that, for most of us, they are not the end-all to everything. In our case, missing some of the "firsts" easily faded into the background the day we watched our newly-adopted toddler point to my picture and clearly say, "Mommy! Mommy!" with a smile on her face.I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. I've had to relinquish many firsts since Dante attends school (daycare). The best example I can use is love. I didn't experience love for the first time in my life with Marcelo, but I couldn't imagine not being able to share my love now with him.
It may take time to decide whether toddler/older child adoption is for you. I know for us, it didn't come overnight. We have been a huge work in progress. For those of you that feel it isn't for you, that's alright too. We need all types of families in this world, but I just hope that some sole searching can be done before a decision is/was made. That is also where we have been a work in progress.
Claudia
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Elaine,
I guess I may not have to make that call to you afterall. You summed it all up for me.... many things my heart and mind were already speaking.........
It's a blessing to call you friend,
Claudia
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Jada,
I think you hit the nail on the head. We all need educating when it comes to new, untread territory. I find that Marcelo and I have been able to grow so, so much through education. It's so hard to just jump right in when the water is so cold, but I hear what you are saying. EVERY child deserves love and stability without having to feel rejected. I hear your passion and thank you for your honest words Jada.
Best wishes on your journey,
Claudia
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Talking about growing spiritual children... I have to mention this one. It made my heart melt 3 times already. Marcelo, Dante and I were on our way to church on Saturday evening for the Easter Vigil service (Dante celebrated his 1st Communion) when we drove up and he saw the Church and said Happy. We realized we had forgotton our camera, so turned around and headed home to get it. As we drove up to Church once more out from Dante's mouth comes Happy!
Thinking it just might be a coincidence, Sunday morning he did it again! Believing now that church has already had such a great big impact on our little one. He even does the sign of the cross, says Amen and Pastor!
Claudia
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Congratulations Kristine and family! He's a beauty.
Claudia
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One of the things that has helped Dante's Grand-parents accept our open adoption and ongoing relationships with Dante's Birthparent's is meeting them personally. We still have a ways to go in building that relationship due to distance, infrequent visits etc., but still working on it. I would love for my parents or Marcelo's to attend Camp Abrazo one day, so they can see the adoption community in action first hand. Exposure and education is key. I mention Stephanie and Whitney in casual conversation often. I talk about the connections Dante has to his Birthparent's that are so important to us, such as his culture, race, personality and physical traits. That way, they don't forget what an integral part of our family they have become.
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Tricia,
I'm so glad you and Jonas were able to reunite with his Birthmother. It has to be so difficult when you truly want that openess and it isn't there. Don't ever give up. Personally, Dante's Birthmother needed time at the beginning and now she tells me how she really knows we love her NO MATTER WHAT. I said to her yes, we sure do... no matter what. Best wishes on continued contact.
Claudia
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To go through life knowing your beloved baby is 'out there' but forever divorced from you legally; to be forever denied the rights and respect due every other parent, while daily having to grapple with the grief that comes with the loss of a child; coupled with the knowledge that yours is a self-imposed loss, made for the benefit of someone other than yourself-- that is a source of sorrow, shame and regret that knows no end, an unparalleled personal injury of epic proportion.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and thank you Elizabeth for this reality check. Last night as I was watching the Bachelor, Dante's Birthmother called. She doesn't have a phone and she usually doesn't call often due to that. I've spoken with her two nights in a row now she calling me. After we spoke, which was an emotional conversation for many reasons, I truly felt like God was sending her and her call and needs for a definate purpose. After the call, I went over to Marcelo to let him know I had spoken with Stephanie. At that moment, this thread came to mind. The decision she made to place our/her son in our arms, she did the above statement. The peace for all of us is she will always no where Dante is and how he is doing and she can kiss and hug him for herself if that is what he wants too. I realized again how I am so able and ready to put my needs/losses behind someone elses. I feel equipped to deal with anything and I know so many others are not.
I appreciate your thoughts because at 32 yrs. old, I need to know I am not alone in this,
Claudia
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One of the things I have been sorting through since the beginning of our adoption journey and now moving into our second journey are expectations. Not only do the expectations of others affect me, my own expectations run in and out of my mind and heart.
By no means would I feel sorry for myself or think that my issues are greater than any of the issues others face, but I wonder how other adoptive parent's feel about expectations.
Since the beginning of our journey, I just kinda let things fall where they may, but it seems as you become more experienced in any subject matter you become more empowered. I am one who totally respects what others feel or want for their own life, but sometimes the "expectations" of others placed on me and what I want, does bother me. I sometimes wonder if I am somehow being questioned wether it be me as a Mom, wife, employee, daughter or "adoptive parent". I try my best not to worry what others think when I know in my heart I/we do things for the right reason and our heart is in the right place.
I guess one of the things that at times gets me thinking is the expectations on adoptive parents. It seems we are expected to be perfect. I KNOW I'm not perfect that's for sure and I can NEVER live up to that expectation. I totally respect all Birthparent's and have no idea what it would be like to be in their shoes, but my question is why is the loss of a child in placement viewed as bigger or more of a loss than what an adoptive parent goes through with miscarriages, maybe a loss of a child at an early age ect. That's just the feeling I get. I could be wrong and I really truly want someone to tell me I'm wrong. In many ways, my question is innocently asked because I don't want to steal a loss from anyone, but sometimes I just think about it. I started to think about it when the question of infertility treatments came up post adoption. I can't say I would never do it, but my hope is that if someone, be it me chose that for their family then that would be their choice and respected. I see that some Birthparent's want to reunite with the children they placed and why is it not politically correct for adoptive parent's to seek the same, to reuinite with the loss of a biological child. I'm not an expert and I would hope that couple would think long and hard about treatments after adoption taking their child into consideration, but still have that choice without all those expectations placed on them.
Maybe, this is something one of the Abrazo Chicks can touch on or maybe Elizabeth. I'd like to hear it from the professionals.
I'm confident in our choices as a family and I seek advice from the professionals, but I truly would like to know IF the losses of a Birthparent in the adoption world are clearly seen as more than what many adoptive parents have had to face.
For me, my issues are nothing. There is and will always be someone in more need than I, I know that, but I still would like to hear from others.
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Lisa,
Awesome new about your sister!
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Many warm blessings to our dear friends Eric and Laura. We are elated for you!
Love,
Dante, Marcelo and Claudia
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Very cute Sabrina!
I miss your boys... they truly are spectacular! I know what you mean. Dante can do just about anything and I shed tears. He's growing up before us and turning into a little boy. Your love for your boys is so wonderful to see.
Claudia
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Elizabeth... so true. I love having the gift of choice, but sometimes it would be nice if lightning struck and God opened the heavens and said, YES this is the one! I know, I know... faith must prevail!
I liked your story and I hope that all of us as adoptive families/parent's in waiting will think of the little life held in the balance first when we make our choice for what is right for them and for our family!
Nursery Notes
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
Dee,
Yes, as soon as I saw the Nursery Note, my heart felt very heavy. Praying her family is making her a part of their life in their hearts right now.
Claudia