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dbugsma

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Posts posted by dbugsma

  2. How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    So, I'm back.....

    I started researching an agency for our second adoption in 2003. But we were not really ready (emotionally, financially...etc) until 2004. I started seriously researching agencies. We live in Virginia...& to be frank, the adoption laws of Virginia are pretty stinky. I knew from the experiences of our first adoption in 2000, that we needed an agency that provided:

    • birthparent support
    • a full service agency
    • be located in a state that had shorter parental termination...more on that shortly
    • had supportive staff & adoptive families.

    I spent many nights on the computer reading through agency, after agency...I KEPT coming back to ABRAZO. I read the forum from beginning to end...there wasn't as much traffic at that time nor members. I knew all the stories...knew what to expect as far as the process with ABRAZO...& knew that we belonged with ABRAZO.

    Background...our first adoption was extremely rocky with more twist & turns than we bargained for. We learned SO MUCH during the adoption of our daughter & that made us know that for our next adoption what we could & could not stand/tolerate during a second adoption. Virginia has basically a 25 day termination law. We did an independent adoption & those laws had to be followed during our daughter's adoption...hence, the search for a state with a shorter termination phase.

    We signed on with ABRAZO in March 2005. Attended orientation in May 2005. We had one match early on that didn't pan out. But 2 short weeks later we matched with our son's birthparents...Hayden was born August 14, 2005. We were there when he was born, spent time with his birthparents before & after birth.

    Hayden is now 7, almost 8! WOW, it really doesn't seem possible that Hayden is almost 8.

    The community within Abrazo is very special...these are friends that have carried us through some of Hayden's medical issues valleys while cheering us on through the peaks. I can't image a better place to be involved with.

    Feel free to message me for personal questions.

  4. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Time for annual MRI tomorrow then follow up in a few days’ w/neurologist and neurosurgeon… These days are always a bit stressful for my daughter and I even though we try not to be.. Keeping positive thoughts and prayers for great results…

    I do detest MRI's...I pray your DD's goes well...AND green flags from both the neurologist & neurosurgeon...keep the faith friend!

  6. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Mari,

    I love following you on FaceBook!

    But I really love seeing you & your beautiful family here on Abrazo....there is just something about the triad & the love that spills from all angles.

    Hope everyone is doing well in all aspects.

    I look forward to reading more of your journey to your daughter's healing when the time is right.

    Much love,

    Amy

  10. How Is Everyone?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Thanks, Amy! We'll be coming from Virginia - just outside DC.

    As another Virginian, I say welcome to the Abrazo family!

    There is a small but growing group of Abrazo families in the NoVa area. Susan & I head up the yearly gathering for the Virginia/WVa/DC/Maryland region.

    Feel free to PM me for questions, etc.

    Welcome to Abrazo.

    Blessings, Amy

  11. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Thank you Suzi, we have had one heck of a rollercoaster ride this past month.. but not letting the jerks throw us off the track, they are though making us hold on a tad bit tighter! :o

    Your little ones are getting so big..beautiful kiddos.. Hope you are all doing well...

    Blessings,

    Mari

    Sometimes it is the jerks that wake us up make us focus on what is important too.....hang on the ride is always changing...no wonder I don't like roller coasters any more wink.gif.

    Blessings, Amy

  12. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Mari,

    I've been away from the forum for over a week now. Checking just briefly....so sorry to read that your daughter has had a reoccurance of seizure activtiy. It stinks!

    Praying with our forum community that the weekend will provide some respite of seizures & allow adjustment to new medications.

    I am beginning to wonder if the change in the seasons isn't the reason...our Hayden is continuing to have issues at night. Feel free to email me at my home address.

    Much love...Amy

  15. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Mari,

    I've missed you lately...but I've been hit or miss as well. Our children share the seizure episodes & we've had some rough patches these past months as well with Hayden's seizure control.

    I hope your daughter is doing better now & you continue on your path of healing as well.

    I look forward to read more of your journey when the time is right for you.

    All my best, Amy

    Amy,

    Thank you, my daughter is doing better, returns to her dr. in a few weeks for more lab work and follow up. I hope Hayden is also doing better. Do you have any wise insight for me, how do you handle it? What type of seizures are they? How do they affect Hayden prior/after? How often do they occur?

    I really don't know how parents of children w/epilepsy do it, I am thinking like anything else, one learns from them and how to deal with obstacles. It just really took a toll on my daughter for a few weeks afterwards,she was quiet, more pensive,scared,her emotions were a roller coaster, thinking her tumor had returned,she lost motivation for a while. It took her and us some time to get to a somewhat normal or new normal place..But I think we will always have that in the back of our mind or maybe more like in the forefront, especially with the results of her EEG. Example..Her dad was picking her up from school Monday and she was delayed due to her class running a little late, he had started to worry even though it was only a few minutes..he text her and left her a voice mail, but since she was still in class couldn't reply, as soon as she got out she called him and told him she was on her way.. He told me that as soon as she got in the car a fire truck (first responders besides the police for her at school when she had the latest seizure) drove by them and pulled into the school, he said he was so grateful a minute before she had gotten in the car, because had she not been sitting right there and had it been a few minutes earlier before he heard from her, he would have parked his car and gone looking for her thinking it might have been for her, his heart had been racing a little. I remember many a day waiting for her after school, sometimes 15 or 20 minutes, nothing crossing my mind other then her staying late in a class or socializing with her friends, now those thoughts have been replaced with : is she ok, did she get turned around.. I guess it is all part of the process, I can only imagine how we will feel once she starts to drive.. May have to get some tranquilizers for my husband and I. I am sure we will survive, it will just be a challenge for a few years or so. :blink:

    Any insight or tips you can give me, sure would be appreciated..

    Blessings to you and yours,

    Mari

    Mari,

    I hope to be able to email/PM you tonight.

    Hoping your day has gone well.

    xoxo, Amy

  16. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Thank you to all who wished my daughter a happy Bday a couple weeks ago. Turning 18 was a biggie for her and she is still on cloud nine. It was a wonderful way to finish off her summer, especially after her seizure episode at the end of June that sent us for a loop. Sorry I haven't been back to continue on our journey posting, it has been a busy summer with different dr. appts., therapies, summer school session, plus other eventful (could have done w/out) things going on. I do plan on continuing, just need to discipline myself and make the time to get back into it.

    Mari,

    I've missed you lately...but I've been hit or miss as well. Our children share the seizure episodes & we've had some rough patches these past months as well with Hayden's seizure control.

    I hope your daughter is doing better now & you continue on your path of healing as well.

    I look forward to read more of your journey when the time is right for you.

    All my best, Amy

  17. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Wow…I have like a trillion misspells on this latest addition… I better quit typing at night when I am tired..

    Sorry about that..

    If I can get the computer guru to deleted it I will repost with corrections..I had tired to correct after I reread it several times, but seems like you don't have much time with the edit mode..

    It reads perfect Mari....I always enjoy & look forward to reading your post.

    Amy

  18. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Mari,

    My heart always smiles when I see there is a post from you.

    I am sad to read that your daughter is still struggling with her health. It is so hard to watch our children not succeed to their fullest.

    We also struggle with several health issues that compound the education process for our son.....none of this is easy, but we work through each issue/problem the best we can & move forward.

    We rely on faith to carry us through each day as well.

    Keep the faith, keep walking your journey, there are so many of us here on the forum who think of your family....praying for recovery in all areas Mari---stay strong, keep being your daughter's advocate.

    Much love, Amy

  19. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    We made a lot of progress last week! Met with the wonderful suebee for dinner Thursday and then mailed off our completed application Friday. USPS.com shows that the package should arrive at the Abrazo offices today! I also contacted a local social worker to update our TN home study for TX standards and should hear back from her tomorrow about scheduling and cost. We worked on draft 1 of our profile over the weekend and it's coming together so well! Fingers crossed that an orientation invitation comes and that we'll have a chance to get feedback on this profile and use that TX-updated home study!

    Oh, I remember sending that big package to Abrazo.....it was so exciting!

    Congrats on getting started & beginning the next steps. Why don't ya hop over to the Joyous Journeys & start your own blog there?? I look forward to reading your journey.

    xoxo...Amy

  20. La Promesa: Special Needs Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    how you would respond if you gave birth to a child with the same ailment, and further explore whether your ability to "handle it" might differ-- and why?

    This question is one of the reasons reading the forum is beneficial to me during the stage of our adoption journey that we're in right now. To be honest, my initial response is different than my response after thinking about this question. I knew there were things we were open to in terms of alcohol, drugs, and minor challenges, but when I think about this question, those things almost seem like I've been asked "what is your preference?" or "what is optimal?" in an adoptive situation, not what could we "handle."

    It's a tough question all-around to know how anyone might handle the situation if presented with it... because most times in life, what we think we want most definitely isn't always what God urges our heart to do.

    When we began our adoption quest 10+ yrs ago, Tim & I were comfortable w/ most all situations we were presented. Granted we didn't have to 'turn down' any situations, but we talked about the potenial cases we wouldn't be able to handle. We talked about how we would handle situations if we were to 'birth' a child w/ problems as well.....medical problems only.

    Fastforward to our second adoption, no issues at birth....Hayden was almost 2 when his special needs presented. From the time Hayden was 18 months old until 27 months old he was diagnosed as speech delayed/non-verbal, sensory processing disorder, epilepsy & autism. Hayden is now 4 1/2--still non-verbal, autistic, epiletic, & has sensory issues....our lives/world pretty much revolve around Hayden & his needs daily.

    We give our all to Hayden (& Shayla, too)....would we change how we do things no. Hayden's special needs emerged he wasn't born w/ them, so prehaps that has something to do w/ the way we look at how we handle our son's special needs. Our faith has carried us, taught us more than you can ever image & while there are days that we are frustrated b/c others don't get our situation, we take the glass half full approach & keep going.

    Hayden is our son, our whole son, he may have special needs.....but even if we had born a child, that might have had needs as well.....would we love them any less, no.

    Hope that helps. Just my 2 cents.

    xoxo, Amy

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