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Daniel & Erika

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Posts posted by Daniel & Erika

  1. Tears this morning for a friend we knew too briefly. We remember Stacey as a woman full of life, energy and the burning desire to be a Mom. God Bless Mike and Gabi today, and all who mourn her loss. This is a day of sadness. May she be at peace today with the Lord.

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  2. Congratulations Sandi, Scott, Skye, Eli, Griffin and "A"... we are all so very happy for you guys! We're anxious for you all to get back to NJ so we can meet your new little guys! Hooray!!!

    (Scott, I can tell by the look on your face that the balance of power has shifted... 3-2... congrats!!!)

  3. Elizabeth - are "celebrities" subjected the same rules as the rest of us? Do they have to have home studies, etc... or can they work out private adoptions without any of the paperwork? I am curious about this. It seems that when these folks lives, warts and all, are played out in the media, it would be awfully hard to ever receive an "objective" fair evaluation. I would think the statement "adopting to save the marriage" would be reason enough to preclude them from adopting. Just my 2 cents...

  4. What does it take to be a "special needs family"? What compels someone to make this kind of greater commitment to a child whose needs are greater than average? Do those who eventually move from wanting "a perfectly-healthy baby" to loving a child with special needs ever harbor secret regrets? Do they ever end up feeling "cheated" by fate? How does parenting a child with special needs change you and/or your family?

    Let's see where to begin... Harboring secret regrets? or feeling "cheated" by fate? I have felt and said from the beginning and still feel the same way today that the only one who has been cheated of anything is Danny - and unfortunately, I can't ask him whether or not he agrees. We have absolutely no regrets about our adopting Danny. As a father, I am sad for him that he will never have some of the opportunities that healthy children have to play sports, be in school plays, have long talks with best friends, etc..., but in contrast many healthy children will never receive the amount of love and care that Danny and other Special Needs kids get on a daily basis from their teachers and therapists, etc...

    It is not a matter of regret or feeling cheated. Instead, it just becomes a matter of changing expectations and altering your reality? Does that make sense?

    From a practical sense, parenting on a day to day basis is quite different from what I had expected. For Danny, there is always a hightened sense of awareness - how is he doing, is he happy, comfortable, fed, in all, a constant monitoring of his well-being... For Matthew, our experience with Danny has allowed a more permissive, less restrictive, less frantic approach to what we would have been like had he been our first child. Living with Danny has taught us not to panic at a runny nose or a scratch on the knee...

    As I am writing this, I really don't know if this will make any sense to anyone. I guess you can either be angry or accepting of your childs condition. I think, more than anything else, you have to understand that as much as you might have the urge to make this "about you" it is never about you... and it is always "about and for" you child.

    That is just my two cents...

  5. Oh Elizabeth... thank you for that article. There is so much there that we can identify with.

    "It's worth it all just to see him smile," said Heather Peralta.

    This is our greatest joy with Danny. Just seeing him smile is everything to us. To know that he is comfortable and happy and that he knows he is loved is all we need.

    Heather used to think having such a child would be the worst fate. Now she feels the bigger the challenge, the better the reward.

    Erika, who has been a Special Education teacher for 22 years always feared having a special needs child at home. I had no idea what those challenges would be, but fully expected a healthy baby, little league, sports, education, and a "normal" life for my little boy. I couldn't imagine how people could function day-to-day with such a "burden". I will tell everyone one honest truth about my life... I am a far better person for knowing Danny than I could have ever hoped to be. In a greater sense, this little boy helped Save me... but that is a story for another day. :rolleyes:

    "shows how God finds the right parents for children with special needs."

    And those found parents often turn out to be stronger than they thought they were.

    Amen to that.

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