I know first hand the fear that adopting a toddler/preschooler can evoke. There are similarities and differences between adopting children of any age. I think every parent has some trepidation when adding to their family regardless of the circumstances. I don't think fear should rule your heart or head. Many things in life we would not attempt or prevail over if we let fear paralyze our lives.
Through all of the valleys and peaks I can say that our family feels blessed that God sent Angel to be our daughter. Things have not always been pleasant...things have not always been easy, but then again...things are never easy when raising and loving any child. There have been peaks and valleys with parenting Makayla as well. That in no way means that I regret being mother to our two little girls. Given the oppurtunity to do it all over again(adopting a newborn and adopting a 3 year old) ...I wouldn't do it any differently.
Most things in life worth doing are a challenge. Parenting is no different. God has a plan for every child and every family. Every child DOES deserve a family. This little boy's birthmom is making the hardest decision of her life. She believes in Abrazo and their wonderful adoptive families enough to entrust them (possibly YOU) with her beloved son. Whenever you worry about the risk you may be taking by adopting an older child...just think how much of a risk his birthmother must feel like she is taking!!!
I know the feelings some of you are having...you are scared, you are unsure- is this the child that God wants our family to have, can we love a child that is not a baby, how will our other child(ren) react to a new child, can we bond, etc. I have been there...done that!
Your concerms are valid! I understand them. I also understand you can still be "Mom" or "Dad" to this child even though he is 3 years old. Will it be different from adopting a newborn..yes in some ways. It didn't take long for me to realize that Angel's "number" (age) might be "3" but she really is not that far out of babyhood herself. She still loves to rock, cuddle, be read to, be carried, etc. She wants to feel safe, play, learn, explore, and be loved...just like Makayla.
If your heart is open to adopting this boy, please pray about this decision and ask God for guidance. Like Elizabeth has said before...how many people have passed up or nearly passed up "the child of their dreams" because it didn't look like the child of their dreams on paper. When I let that thought sink in it gives me chills. It really is a very sobering thought!
I hope this boy will get the family of his dreams and the family of his birthmother's dreams. I pray one of our waiting families will come forward and take a leap of faith. In adoption many times we do have to walk by faith and not by sight.
Praying for all involved!