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Mandi, Sounds like you are on the right track, and Hannah and Karen have both shared some wonderful insight. I have found for me that admitting my weakness to God and asking Him to strengthen me and help me live the way he wants me to is very powerful. I don't believe God expects us to "do it," but rather it is what He does in and through us. Just being yielded to him which, like Karen said, is a day by day thing (even minute by minute sometimes). Your story reminds me of Joseph in the Old Testament who was falsely accused and put into prison in Eqypt where he seemed to be forgotten. (And this was after being betrayed by his own brothers and sold into slavery.) Then one day, God brought him out and lifted him to a position second only to Pharoah. When he was reunited with his brother later he told them that what they meant for evil, God used for good. I, too, went through a period of time where I was mad at God because I knew He could change my circumstances and yet He did not. But now I see that what seemed to be for bad was actually used for my good. I wish you so much joy and peace for your life.

Welcome Riley! Congratulations to your new family and lots of prayers for comfort and peace for your brave first mom.

Nobody said this was a hint or foreshadowing or anything else... I'm just wondering. Rounds 2 and 3 are fairly common. Has there been a Round 4 in Abrazo's history? I don't know Mimi, sounds like she wants to be the first!

Great insight Ellen...thanks for sharing.

I remember as a child, I would tell my mom rather frequently that I was going to go live with my grandmother (her mom) when things were not going my way. One summer, they took me to visit her for two weeks, and I never said that again. I loved my Mema, but I missed my family terribly (and got quite bored with no other kids around...even if I didn't have to put up with a bossy older brother and a pesky little sister!) As I got older, I joked with my mom that she left me there so long on purpose. She insists that it was just the way things worked out, but I still wonder if it was intentional! Joshua has never said he wanted to live with his birthmom/dad, but he did go through a spell where he said he wanted to run away. (I totally understand. I sometimes feel that way!) I just told him that was fine, but he had to take me with him.

You are exactly right Grace! I remember when I was dating (a loooong time ago) thinking that I would just be myself so as to attract the person who would want to be with the real me. If I was pretending to be someone I wasn't and attracted someone, then I'd have to keep that "pretense" up! I think it's the same with a birthparent match. There are so many different things a potential birthparent is looking for and so many different adoptive parents that there really is not "one size fits all." Mandi, as always, thanks for sharing your perspective! You give us APs and future APs some really great insight!

Congratulations to the newest family!

I know firsthand that seeing/holding a little pink bundle is just the thing to nudge a reluctant husband toward jumping in again! It certainly worked for us several years ago! I'm off the forum for one day, and come back to lots of activity...so exciting!!

Tracey, we're still waiting I was thinking of this topic today after a conversation in the car with my son Joshua (who is 11). As his 5 (in one week)-year-old sister Lydia sang the version of "We Will Rock You"* that he taught her from the back seat, I noted that I hoped she didn't sing it when she started Kindergarten this fall. I commented that I wouldn't be surprised if Lydia ended up in the principal's office often for wrestling with other students and teaching her young friends inappropriate songs like he does with her! Joshua told me it was my fault for having two kids that were 6 1/2 years apart! Certainly 6 1/2 years was not how I would have planned things, but in many ways, it's been great! I do agree with Joshua that the downside is Lydia has always been exposed to things (i.e. SpongeBob which I put off as long as possible with Joshua) at an earlier age. Of course we monitor them, and I reminded Joshua of his responsibility to his little sister. But I got a chuckle out of his very logical response to me this afternoon. *We will, we will rock you, sock you, pick you up and drop you, flush you down the toilet, hope you enjoy it! (Not sure where he learned this?! It's not necessarily bad for a 6th grader, but I'm sure Lydia's teachers don't want her singing it in Kindergarten!)

Great news! If you guys are from the Memphis area, you'll have lots of support from the "been there, done that" Memphis crowd!! We've got a great group!

Welcome! Love the positive outlook! You are so right...each step brings you closer to your child!

Well, I unexpectantly teared up when I introduced Joshua to Jerrod and Mikayla. We met at Magic Springs in AR, and I was on the phone with their mom trying to get her to where we were in the park, so I saw them first. I think it was the sweet look on Jerrod and Mikayla's face when they saw Joshua that made me so emotional. They have not always known about Joshua, but they have totally accepted him. All were a little shy at first. Joshua naturally is when he first meets people. Apparently they have that in common! But an amusement/water park was a great place for them to meet at this age, because it gave them a chance to relax and just enjoy hanging out together. For those who know Lydia, you know she was also a great icebreaker! She rarely meets a stranger. Their mom told me they were all nervous about meeting us. Joshua said he wasn't nervous, which I believe. He was extremely excited and very glad they got to meet. (They had only sent letters and texted before this weekend.) Joshua truly is a kid that feels like the bigger his family, the better. He has so many people who love him, and what we say at Abrazo is true, "You can never have too much love." I think Joshua definitely favors both Jerrod and Mikayla...probably Mikayla more. I'll try to post a picture later. Jerrod is in band, and Joshua is going to be in band when he starts Middle School in the fall. He wants to play drums, but I would love it if he plays the trumpet like Jerrod. Both love to watch/play football although they disagree on their favorite teams! Jerrod is very loving to his sister, and I definitely see those traits in Joshua. Of course, they have their moments, and Jerrod and Mikayla's mom assured me they have theirs as well! I honestly could not have asked for the weekend to go better. My main concern was that Joshua would have fun, and that J and M would be sweet to him. They definitely were. And they are great kids!

This past weekend, we had the awesome experience of meeting Joshua's brother and sister (on his birthfather's side) and their mom. (They are now 15 and 13). They are such great kids, and we had a wonderful time meeting at Hot Springs, AR. We went to Magic Springs/Crystal Falls, ate lots of good food, played miniature golf, and explored historic Hot Springs together. We all agreed that it was just the beginning of many more fun times we hope to spend together.

Congratulations Cindy and Andy! Love the name Joshua! Congrats also to the Whitfields! Praying for a peaceful transition.

Wow Andrea. I am so sorry for all the loss you and Jim have experienced in your family these last few years. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I truly believe that giving your child a sibling is one of the best gifts you can give them. But I say this as someone who has a great relationship with my older brother and younger sister. And also as someone whose kids, while they have their moments, truly love and adore each other. Obviously I don't think giving your child a sibling should be the only reason to adopt again or have more children, but I do think it can be a wonderful blessing for your family. That's not to say that children who are "onlys" are deprived...they do have extra "benefits" that a child who is not an only doesn't have. For us, our second birthparent situation made us appreciate and love our first child's birthparents all the more. The people and circumstances involved are very different. I was one that wanted another relationship like we had with our son's birthmom, but it has not been the case. While that does make me sad, I have learned to accept it, make the best of it, and know with all my heart that I can't imagine life without our precious girl. She needed us as much as we needed her, and I believe that our family is a good match for her birthfamily regardless of how challenging it is at times. These are just my thoughts, and I don't know if they makes sense. I think Ollie would be a wonderful big brother, and I have no doubt that you, Steven, Mimi, and B have enough love to share and go around!

Congratulations!! I can't wait to hear more of this wonderful story...

Congratulations James and Christy! I'm so happy for you and your little princess.

Susan- I was just thinking about you as I was driving today. I want to adopt again so badly. Someone's heart is not quite there yet. It pains me that God has a greater YES! HE holds our future. I just pray that it's sooner than later because it's hard waiting on God's plan. We've had a few nibbles along the way that we thought it was the one, but God stopped that adoption plan right in it's tracks. I still keep the faith and believe and truly plus secretly hope because I have a beautiful baby girl nursery up and ready for a precious soul. Thank you for sharing your heart! Oh yes, there was that matter of getting my husband on board with the idea of adopting again. All I can say is Prayer does work! I'll be excited to see where your journey takes you!

Haven't you heard the saying, "If you want to hear God laugh, just tell Him your plans." While I don't really think he laughs at our plans, I think He must sometimes chuckle to Himself while thinking, "You just wait to see what I have in store for you!" (My very loose interpretation of Jeremiah 29:11 and Ephesians 3:20). When Joshua was a baby and toddler, I couldn't really imagine adopting again right then, but I knew I wanted to someday. I wanted to be able to give him undivided attention, but not everyone feels this way. But I didn't really "plan" that he would be my only for six year! We started the process when he was 3, but as is most always the case, God had other plans. My daughter was born when I was 40, so to be honest, I pretty much knew we were "done." But had I been younger, I think I would have wanted to adopt again or at least been open to seeing if there was a child who needed our family. Everyone's story and dreams are different because we are all so different. I like what you said about keeping your heart open and going with the flow. I also understand about adoption (and children to a large extent) turning you into a different person. I am definitely not the same person I was before I began this journey (and I'm so thankful for that!)

Congratulations Sara and Andrew! I loved reading your story and wish you continued blessings in your relationship with Gavin's first parents!

Hope this is helpful. Hmmmm...."B" sounds like the way it was before 2011, but I wonder if you will be able to carry over the credit to the next year(s) if you do not owe at least $12,170. In the past you could, but last year they made the tax refundable, which opened up a HUGE can of worms. And made it very difficult to get your refund. We filed in January and did not get a refund until July (and we were just using the last bit of credit from 2008 finalization of our daughter's adoption). Had to send in proof of adoption and proof of expenses, which we did, but it still wasn't until a taxpayer advocate got involved that we were able to finally get our refund. My advice...send what they ask for--verification of adoption (final adoption decree with judge's seal) and verification of expenses (we sent copies of canceled checks) and make extra copies of everything you send because you may have to send it again!

Congratulations Darshan and Charu! I'm sure your son is worth the wait! I can't wait to hear more of your story and see pictures of your little man.

I second this! Congratulations!

Congratulations!!