Elaine,
I feel your pain. I too have in-laws that are not very supportive of everything we do. When everything with our match went so horribly wrong I was on the phone with my parents every moment I could. They were there to support me and my husband in our troubles. My mom and I would have long conversations and she would help me to focus on what was important. I always felt there love and support. Mike's parents were quite the opposite. They spend their winters in Florida and didn't talk to us much for the six months that they were gone. Mike talked to them maybe three times when we were in the middle of our ordeal and they never once spoke to me and acknowledged my pain. My mother-in-law called me once to tell me she had found a cute rocking chair for the baby and how was I going to spell her name. But after we unmatched and we were in "mourning" over our loss, they never called or came to comfort us. When they finally arrived home from Florida, after our unmatch, they came over for a visit with my brother and sister-in-law. They went into the baby room to look at the cute clothes and to see how we had painted the walls. When I started telling my mother-in-law how everything happened and how hard it has been for me her eyes just wandered around the room and she said, "hmm" and you could tell she wasn't even listening to me. I was so hurt over her lack of concern for me and my husband. I had to leave the room and she followed behind me and asked me if I wanted to do a craft with her!! I didn't want to do a craft with her I wanted her to acknowledge my pain and show some support! Mike and I have been married for 12 years and I have learned that his parents are not there for us emotionally. They are just not capable of showing that kind of affection towards us and I have learned not to count on them for it. It still hurts when you are searching for support and they are not there for you. Fortunately, Mike is supportive of me and understands that his parents and I don't get along very well and he doesn't push me. I guess that sometimes there are family members that you just aren't close with and they just won't be there to support you. It just makes me appreciate the family and friends that I do have, that do support us, even more.