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varnavi

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Everything posted by varnavi

  1. AAAAHHHHH A BOY!!!!!! Congratulations to the entire family!!!! Lisa V
  2. Congratulations on the new bundle of GIRL!!!! There sure have been A LOT of girls lately!!! PINK!!! PINK!!!! PINK!!!! Lisa V
  3. Good topic Lisa! One of the first things I thought of when we discussed adoption without even doing any research was that I wanted to have contact with the birthfamily. Letters, calls, pics definitely, but what about visits? YIKES! That one got me somewhat. I remember a phonecall with Abrazo in the beginning and discussing how was it fair that I would raise this child, but with the visits and input and contact from the birthfamily that I would be basically a glorified babysitter. Little did I know! That is NOT the case. We don't have contact with Andrew's birthfamily now, but when we did it was NOT the case at all. We have friends that have constant contact with all of the birthfamily and that is not the case. YOU ARE the child's parents. You make the decisions. You change the diapers, feed, burp, clean up vomit, kiss booboos, ease their fears. You ALL love this child. No matter what this child DOES have two sets of parents. One set created him/her. One set (or for many one person) raise/s this child. No matter what (hiding from the birthfamily, not telling the child, wanting this child to have been born to you with all your heart) that will never change. The second thing I remember about starting the process was meeting a lady in my old church that adopted two daughters in a closed arrangement. She told me with them sitting beside her how scared she has ALWAYS been that the birthparents will come back to take the girls away. They were older teenagers. While saying this she even was looking around like she was in fear. That is NOT a way to live your life. That is NOT a way for a child to live thier life. I felt so sad for her and her children that she has lived with this for so long. The question that I get most from so many when I discuss open adoption is if I am scared that they will take them back. OH PLEASE!!! I calmly say that is not a fear at all and I know that Andrew's birthmother made the decision she wanted and she CHOSE us!!!! What an honor. So what has everyone else encountered? What fears have you tossed to the side? What have you learned? Lisa V
  4. MOMMY DEE AND DADDY BART!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! Oh my gosh I am so happy for you all! How wonderful that you all are now family! Enjoy every moment with your little bundle of joy! Many warm and caring thought go out to your little girl's incredible and selfless birthfamily during this time as well. Name???? Pics???? Lisa V
  5. YEAH!!! Congratulations on the new baby girl!!! What an incredible year huh?!!! Lisa V
  6. Yeah!!! A baby girl!!! Congratulations and enjoy every moment Brian and Gail! Many thoughts and prayers go out to the incredible birthfamily. All right FISHIES!!!!!! Lisa V
  7. Congratulations! A baby girl! A perfect fit for a perfect baby and a perfect family! Enjoy every moment! Lisa V
  8. Congratulations! Baby Womble has arrived! You look so happy in your photos! She is just beautiful! Enjoy every moment! Lisa V
  9. CONGRATULATIONS ERIK AND NICHOLE!!!!!!!! JORDAN HAS A SISTER!!!!! She is just beautiful! Enjoy every single moment! Lisa V
  10. Oh Daddy Tom, Mommy Colleen, Baby Abigail, and Grandmother! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! She is so beautiful and you look so happy!!!!! We are so excited for you all. I have a huge smile on my face! Enjoy every moment. A big hug and many prayers go out to an incredible birthmother who made this dream possible. Lisa V
  11. How wonderful to have that contact! Our good friends here have ongoing contact with their son's birthgrandmother and it is just wonderful! Lisa V
  12. "Our marriage is shaky, and a child will bring us back together. It will never happen." Ok, this made me laugh so much. It really does change a marriage! Really it is sad that so many people think that a child will fix things. All it does is add stress and if you can't handle it with just the two of you then a baby or child DOES NOT HELP. Please don't hurt a child by bringing them into something like this. We have a friend that did this and it is so sad. It ended in divorce and the child is who is hurt. Thanks for the list. Lisa V
  13. Congratulations on Baby Olivia!!!! What a beautiful name, what a beautiful child, and what a beautiful family!!!! Lisa V
  14. YEAH!!!! YEAH!!!! YEAH!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LITTLE GIRL!!!!! We are so happy for you and your new family!! Enjoy every moment!! Lisa V
  15. Congratulations on Lilly Grace!!!! Enjoy every moment!!!! Lisa V
  16. YEAH!!!!!! I am with you Donna crying happy tears!!! CONGRATULATIONS JENN AND DAVE or should I say MOMMY and DADDY!!!!! BABY JONAH!!!!!!!!!! A huge hug and prayers go out to Jonah's birthfamily. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT!!!!!! YEAH TENS!!!!!!! Lisa V
  17. How absolutely incredible! Two GIRLS!!! What a beautiful family that you make! Can you believe that you just went to orientation?!?! Many thoughts and prayers go out to one incredible birthmother who made a courageous choice for her children. Lisa V
  18. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!!! Enjoy every moment! Lisa V
  19. Yeah! Congratulations on your new bundle of blue! Enjoy EVERY moment! A big hug and prayer go to your son's incredibly brave and strong birthfamily! Lisa V
  20. Noah, You sound like such a GREAT big brother! I will have to tell Andrew about you and your posts when he gets to be a big brother too! Keep enjoing your little one and keep up the posts!!! We love to hear from you. Lisa V
  21. Yeah!! Yeah!!! Yeah!!! Don and Andrea I am so happy for you I am crying! Enjoy every moment with your little bundle of joy Mommy and Daddy!!!!! Get used to hearing those words!!! And get used to no sleep, diaper changes, puke, bottles, coohs, smiles, and everything that is so wonderful about being a parent! After wanting this for so long there is not a thing that is not incredible! Enjoy it ALL!!!!! A big heartfelt hug and prayer goes out to the incredible birthfamily that made this courageous and difficult choice. Lisa V
  22. Yeah!!! A huge congratulations to the new family!!!! Lisa V
  23. Yeah! Yeah!! Yeah!! A new baby to welcome into the world! Enjoy every moment! Lisa V
  24. Oh my gosh! How exciting for both sets of new parents! I know Abrazo was very busy this weekend! Yeah!! Yeah!!! Yeah for the two sets of parents (that is 4 sets of parents!). May you all enjoy your little bundles of joy!!!! Lisa V
  25. We went the fertility route for years. We agreed to try IVF/ICSI one time and go for as many frozens as were left. Pregnant, miscarriage, end of story, well that part of the story! Fast forward 4 months! We became parents to this INCREDIBLE little boy----OUR SON!!! We love him in every way and he is our son in every way possible. I can't imagine having our family in any other way and I can't imagine loving him more than I do. We are a family. Now 3 years later we are starting our journey to bring what we think is our final child into our lives! When we decided on IVF we were debating on adoption or IVF. I was fully ready to just go for adoption. I wanted to be a family and family is not biology. We just wanted to make sure that we gave everything a try and not have any regrets. Sometimes I wonder if I regret even trying IVF. I have to say that I don't because we went through so many emotions and trials and learning experiences. I would not be the person, the wife, nor the mother that I am today if I had not experienced those things. With that said would I try any fertility again? NOT A CHANCE!! Even if someone came and said that I had a 100% chance of getting preganant and having a healthy child I would say no way. The thing is that with adoption it is a 100% for sure thing that you will be a family in the end. My family is formed through adoption and that is an incredible thing. The other day I was driving and saw a sign advertising a local fertility clinic. My immediate response was to get almost nauseated. It was just a sign to give so many people hope when they are in such dispair. When we ended our fertility route it was so liberating. I have read others feel it lifts such a huge burden off their shoulders. That sign made me sad because so many are in the middle of such pain and hurt. It was also neat because I could look and say that part of my life is gone. It is a chapter that has ended and that pain is in the past. It does not control me any more and that is a very powerful thing! As I am writing this one of our friends from church has a daughter that went through infertility. She and her hubby had miscarriage after miscarriage. They decided on adoption and their son was placed with them a few months after our son was born. They did not give up on a biological child and continiued fertility treatments and still had miscarriages. Then they got pregnant after more treatment and had twins very prematurely and the mother is fighting for her life. It is so sad that they are in this place and it is so sad that they could not let go. For anyone considering adoption I would have to say try what you feel is right on the fertility route. You need to be able to let it go and not have any regrets. Fertility treatments are expensive and so is adoption. They both are very emotional and the ups and downs are wild. Adoption does not give you long term health issues (maybe a few more gray hairs!). Fertility treatments can lead to family. ADOPTION DOES LEAD TO FAMILY!!!! Family is what it is all about, not biology. Lisa V
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