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linlacor

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Everything posted by linlacor

  1. linlacor

    Home Study

    We live in Washington so we weren't able to have our homestudy done by Abrazo. I had no idea how to start trying to find someone to do it. I first started by calling adoption agencies nearby where we live and asking if they do homestudies for domestic adoptions and I explained that we were working with an agency in Texas to adopt a newborn baby. Several didn't do them for domestic adoptions (Washington has a lot of international adoption agencies) and a few told me the time-frame was something like 6 months for it to be completed (yikes!! ). Then, I went to the Resolve website (Resolve is
  2. Big thumbs up to Abrazo for not pressuring birthparents toward a decision to place. After speaking with a birthmother last night, we talked about this decision and how the only people who can possibly know what is the right decision are the birthparents..... not an Adoption Agency, not Adoptive Parents, not Birth Grand-parents, etc. Ultimately, the birthparents are the only ones who know if placement is the right choice for them and their baby. She told me about her conversations with Abrazo and how they've been very supportive of whatever decision she makes - even providing her with
  3. Oh how sweet - I think a brother or sister for Nathan is a fabulous idea. Um, but I wanted to say that 46 or 47 isn't old!!!!! I attended the Los Nuevo Abrazos orientation in August and one of the adoptive parents that came and told us their story (they had recently adopted their absolutely adorable little boy) was in her mid-late 40s. I can't remember her name, nor can I remember her age - I'm thinking though that she was at least 45? I remember when she told us how old she was I looked at her and thought, "there's no way" because she just looked awesome! Anyway - this was their first I
  4. Hi, I just tried the link on the post and it didn't work, however, when I tried it alone (I posted it below) it worked fine. It's such a nice site and I just wanted to make sure people could visit it if they wanted to so I'm reposting the link (hope that's okay). Not sure if Karly reads messages on the board but thank you so much for sharing this with everyone - what an amazing person you are and I wish you all the best!! http://www.geocities.com/k_renaeb/Adoption.html -Lisa
  5. Lisa2 - please cross your eyes and toes too!! Just kidding - thanks for your kind thoughts. I know I have a shopping problem, I think it comes from so many years of not being able to do it and now I'm making up for lost time. It worries me though because of course I don't want our baby to be spoiled , wink, wink - lol. I love the way your worded your post to Jada. I feel like Jada's openness in her post just revealed so much about the reality of adoption - I mean, at the end of the day - it is a very emotional and difficult beyond words kind of experience. Even for those of us who had g
  6. Thanks Michelle, I appreciate you responding and you are right - just making sure your little one has the best home you could possibly give her and sooo much love and support and time with you and your husband and other members of your family is the best thing you can possibly do. Although my adoption was closed, I do know in my heart (and through some very non-identifying updates from the agency) that my little girl is very, very happy and well adjusted and loved. About 3 years ago I rec'd the best update ever - (you can't even conceive of the closed nature of my adoption if you've adopted
  7. Hi Jada, I'm not even sure what to say but I really felt a need to respond to your post. So, I don't feel any different toward you after reading your post. In fact, I found it reassuring in a sense because we just did our profile and I purposely did not put anything in there that said "I know what you're going through" (although I did put in there that I placed my baby for adoption). I knew that I couldn't say that I know what our birthmom is going through. One thing I learned while at Gladney (I lived in their dorm while I was pregnant, me along with about 50 or so other preggies) is th
  8. So, I've been contemplating on if/how to respond. I decided today to respond to this. I'm not sure if people wonder who birthparents are, but since I am one, I thought I could comment (hopefully I won't be the only one...Jada, Lisa2, where are you?) So, the survey isn't totally off, here's how I stack up against the statistics: I was one of the less than 3% of white, unmarried women who placed (I'm now married) I voluntarily placed and as the survey said, I did have educational/vocational goals that I felt I couldn't attain if I kept my baby (well, I could have attained them but it wo
  9. Michelle, your mail was very sweet and didn't make me feel bad. Definitely helpful for me to read. Just gave me a few things to think about/consider as did suebee's. Thanks a bunch!! Y'all are great, looking forward to meeting you both someday, maybe at one of the ABRAZO functions??? -Lisa
  10. Thank you so much suebee and Paul & Michelle D. It feels better to know I'm not alone and to know I just need to work on how to best deal with this. I'm ashamed to say I didn't even think about making sure I set a good example for our little one once we're blessed enough to have one. I will think to myself "count to 3, count to 3" and politely & very maturely deal with it. After posting this, I thought to myself - isn't that terrible for me to think of all the negative things people say and not think/post about the positive things I've heard people say when I've told them. We've h
  11. Oh I'm just so annoyed and need to express this in order to get over it. Sorry this is a vent but surely I'm not the only one who has experienced this. If only everyone could just understand a bit more about adoption.........So, we're just getting started with our adoption experience - we've sent our application in, have a spot in the Orientation coming up, etc. I am overjoyed about all this - excited beyond words. When I'm excited about something, I like to tell people about it (anyway, at the moment I can't seem to have a conversation about anything else because it's all I think about).
  12. Ok, we've made our flight arrangements and booked our accommodations for the September Orientation. We are elated to be going to this. It suddenly feels like we are doing something to make our dream of becoming a mommy & daddy (other than to our 4 precious kitties) come true. I have started working on our profile/resume. Today I put a rough draft together of the 1st page and now it's up to my husband to add/delete/edit it. I just couldn't wait until I got home from work to do it, I did it over my lunch hour (hourish - I probably took a bit over an hour). I must say, all the informati
  13. Thanks Jada. That's good to know. I never even thought about the pressure on their ears. The reason I asked is because I've been sick twice as a result of flying (I think that's why). Both times though I flew to Europe (once to Finland and it was a 10 or 12 hour flight, can't remember but I was so sick about a day after I arrived & I never get sick so I think the air was just germy (I know they say it's recirculated but I still think you're more exposed to germs) and the other time was when I went to England - I didn't get as sick but had flu like symptoms for a couple of days (again,
  14. Thanks suebee and mommy2 for your enouraging words. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one worrying about something like that and that all went well with your travels. Staying in Texas a 2 - 3 wks will be great and should give my mom, sisters, and aunts plenty of time to get to know our little baby once he/she is with is. Washington is a long way from Texas and it may be a few months before we get back there to visit or vice versa so they'll really enjoy that. Thanks again, Lisa
  15. Hi all, Well, my husband & I just submitted our application to ABRAZO yesterday . I felt like I used to when I'd been preparing & studying to take a big exam and finally took it and was done with it.....except for waiting to find out what I made. So, I'm just looking for support from you out there who have adopted or who have placed. I just keep thinking of all these questions and worrying and wondering when we'll know and wanting so much to just buy every single baby item I possibly can - I know I'm jumping the gun a bit but I'm ready to get the nursery all set up and just sit i
  16. And Feeling Blessed. Thank you so much for your mail too. I will certainly keep everyone posted on how it goes. I've spent almost the entire day today reading all the posts on this forum. Oh my gosh! I wish I would have found this sooner. As a birthmom, I find this to be soooo therapeutic for me. As a prospective adoptive mom, I find it to be so exciting to read all the updates & the support that everyone gives. I am sooo pro-Abrazo now - I can't imagine working through a different agency. I'm crossing fingers, toes, & eyes that all works out well & we get accepted. I jus
  17. Hi Lisa2, Thanks for your reassuring mail too. It's been so long since I placed (13 1/2 yrs) & things have changed so much since then (policies, agencies, adoption philosophies) that I wasn't sure if birthmom feelings change too or not (of course, I guess it depends on the birthmom). For me, it would have been really nice to have placed with another birthmom (actually, beyond really nice - it would have been awesome) for the same reasons you described - someone who understands what the experience is like, etc. However, that's my feeling & I often wonder if I'm biased now since I'm
  18. Thanks so much Jada & Michelle for your reassuring messages. I'm really excited about getting the process going. Last night, we re-read our preapplication & signed it & I even found a picture of us that isn't really old (since I've gained weight, having my picture taken isn't exactly my favorite thing to do). I will definitely be able to keep up with a baby, I'm very active & a very, very youthful 31. Just have bad eating habits which I'm working on (don't want to pass those on to a baby). As for understanding the birthmom's perspective - I will definitely be able to under
  19. I'm not sure if I'm posting mine correctly or not. My topic falls in line w/Opus' topic as we're new to the adoption process & have lots of questions. I've completed the pre-application & will be sending it off soon so hopefully, we'll hear something as soon as you did Opus. I noticed there were some birthmothers who also read & respond to some of the posts here. I have a couple of questions. #1 - I am about 60 pounds overweight. I'm currently working with a personal trainer to develop a healthier lifestyle (I don't have any medical issues from my weight) & I'm sooo worrie
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