wayneandmich

thanks Jada and lisa.....you are truly awesome.

Smitty: After reading all your posts, it seems to me that you have not worked through your feelings over infertility. I get the feeling from your statements that you feel like adoption is second best, since you can not have a biological child. Please take some time and consider why it is you guys want to adopt. You ask "how can you love a child that is not your own" My son, who we adopted almost 2 years ago is my own..I have never thought otherwise. You talk about all the money you have spent and the money it takes to adopt. Yes, it is a big financial commitment, but there is no amount in the world I would not pay for my son. All the open adoption questions, about someone interfering with your family......that is really a very poor way to think about it. My son's birthmother is an active part of his life, but in no way does she co-parent him. She loves him, and simply wants to see him grow and thrive....and we feel so blessed that she does want to be in his life. In my humble opinion...please ...please...invest some time in understanding what open adoptions are all about...then invest some time in yourselves..grieve the biological child you may never have and then look into adoption...if that is still what you want. Finally......my son is my son.....not my adopted son or my "not " real son. We are his "real" parents. You dont have to give birth to be a parent. It is what is in your heart.....and the unbiased love you have to give. It would be so unfair to any child that is adopted to treat them as anything but your own child. I hope this helps...and doesnt seem to harsh...take some time to consider this.