TeyandTy's Mom

Elizabeth, Glad to hear sweet Matthew is o.k. I am sure in spite of the purple shiner...he is as cute as ever!

Heidi I think you are right in wondering if Americas idea of marriage and role in our society had changed. I don't think marriage is valued at all anymore. I wonder when I read the newspaper and see people celebrating 50...60..and even 70 years of marriage. Then you flip the page and the list of those who marriage has ended in divorce is longer. Value of commitment to ANYTHING seems to have gone by the wayside. Things don't alway turn out the way that we planned our life to be. When I got married I NEVER imagined that I would be a single mom at 35 raising two boys...not my husbands.

I think you are right. Sexual Intimacy can get in the way of what is really happening. The thought of committing to some is scary. If there is commitment then all to often it is not for long. The needs of the adult do come before the children. A friend of mine who I teach with were talking today about what we were going to do for spring break next week. I told her I was taking the boys on a two day trip to the aquarium and some museums. She said NOT ME...I am staying home. She is a single mother to a 13 year old boy...wonder what HE would like to do? I think that morals most definitely have gone by the wayside. It is evident everyday in my classroom. As I hear these sixth graders talk. So, I think it has less to do with how many parents are in the home and more to do with how much the parents that are there are COMMITTED to parenting their children in a positive way.

This IS an interesting essay. I do have mixed feelings. I went to church with a lady and every year we would go to the Women of Faith conferences. She would without fail start a discussion on our way there how children in single parent homes are doomed for failure. She would then add with great enthusiasm ...especially boys. Now, IDEALLY I think children should be in a two parent home. But, then my ideal situation is not one I know much about. I was raised by a single mother....no father EVER in the picture. It is funny how I just told someone the other day that I wouldn't know my dad if he walked into the room. I have known many people in what appears to be picture perfect marriages who fight like cats and dogs behind closed doors. I am not so sure that is healthy. I am also not of the train of thought to "stay in it for the children". I think a home that is healthy is not necessarily one that is wealthy. It is common sense that a two parent home would financially be more sound if both parents are working decent paying jobs. Out-of-wedlock births are not what religiously I was taught was acceptable. However, that is what my family is made up of. I am not saying it is right...but, I am also not saying that the way my mother did was wrong either. I am just saying that not every situation is going to fit every person. Believe as you wish. Single parenting is in NO WAY easy but, just because there is a husband in the home doesn't make it any easier. Children will become who they are regardless of a single parent or two parent family. I choose to believe my boys are going to be successful either way. They may also fail....but, it will not be because I am a single parent. Just ask any parent who children where not born out-of -wedlock or who is being raised in a two parent home....whose child is struggling.

I hope everyone understands that my original post on this subject was not to say that the agency or others were saying that the value of my child was less than that of a caucasian child. We all know that is not true. I was just speaking from my point of view only. As a biracial mother of two AA children this all strikes a different chord maybe then some others. When I speak I only speak of real life experiences because that is all I have to go on. I don't even like to discuss money in relation to my children. Because essentially I see them as gifts from someone greater than I ...and on that you can put no price!

Bumping back up if someone is out there!

Way to go Jean!

I thought I would put up this praise. I sooo did not want to get out of bed not unlike most Sundays. It seems I am up by 6 or 7a.m. most mornings that I am off. However, for some reason Sundays are the worst day for me....I really want to sleep in. The boys spent the night with grandma so I was alone. I finally got out of bed and got ready and headed for church. It turned out to be the most amazing service. It seems that the sermon was written just for me although there were a couple hundred people there. I wept...not tears of sadness but, tears of praise. Four children were baptized and their testimonies brought me to tears. I don't miss church often but, when I do I feel like such a slug the rest of the week. It is like I need to go to get my battery recharged. I am not perfect by any stretch. It is times like this morning that I know God also realizes that and loves me anyway. Look what God can do!

I just had to share a praise! I have never had any kind of contact with Tyson's Birthmother that I have not initiated. She is so sweet and we stay in touch when I call or email. We visit each other when we come for camp. I received the sweetest Christmas Card and pictures today from her. Tyson and I opened it together and he had the biggest smile on his face.

Congratulations to the newest families! Blessings to you!

Melissa and Elizabeth, Thank you so much. I thought that it would be a reminder that I could remember. Sabrina

I was trying to find the right place to put this. I am still not sure it is the right place. As some of you know I like to write poems. I may not be good at it but, it helps me get out what is often hard to actually say. The past few weeks have been stressful and overhwhelming to me to say the least. I wrote a poem to try to get out what I am feeling. LORD YOU ARE FAITHFUL Lord you are faithful I wish I could be You are there through the trials Though I may not always see Lord you are faithful I want to be strong Through the ups and downs of life You fill my heart with a song Lord you are faithful I want to serve you more When one window closes You open up a door Lord you are faithful I hope I do enough To show you that I love you In this life that is tough Lord you are faithful

Praising God for the wonderful friends I have! I thank him daily for YOU! I am blessed though many times my view is not clear. I thank him for giving me what I have. I mindful of my blessings....and hopeful for the future.

19 candles burning....

This weekend my boys and I got to be a part of something special (at least to me). As you all know I live in West Virginia...which is NOT the most racially diverse place to live. We certainly have a nice mixture but, could use more. I heard about a free kids fun day on my way to work Friday. It was being done by a man who is attending the university here.He is a Psychology major. He had a rough time growing up and got into a lot of trouble. He is an African American young man who loves horses. His name is Daymetrie "Cowboy" Williams. He has a wonderful story (look him up). He has opened a stable and has started a program for at risk teens to teach them about horses and the art of riding. He provided free horse rides, music, food, jupiter jumps...face painting you name it. My boys had a blast! The great thing was that is IIIIIII was the minority! I was one of a few who had white skin there. This guys gave African American young boys and girls something to look up to! I was so blessed to be there and let my boys meet such a positive young man...who just so happens to have brown skin like them. As a single mom I like to make sure my boys are exposed to men who are positive role models. I thank God for this opportunity. Here are a couple of links: http://www.dailymail.com/story/Life/200707...o-at-risk-kids/ http://www.wvgazette.com/section/News/2007072517

Congratulations Heather and Shawn! Congrats also to the two big sisters! Welcome to the world little guy!

What a great message Elizabeth! Is this from a book or a website?

Keeping this sweet boy in my continued prayers.

Elizabeth I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Coming from a single mom (at thirty- something) I HEAR YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God IS Good and he must have a sense of humor while watching me and my two boys daily.

Everyone remember to light a candle for those you love!

Congratulations ...what a beautiful family!

Congratulations to the newest family! Your angel is beautiful.

Welcome back double J boys!!! Mommy can sleep easy now. Hey Elizabeth, You better get some sleep...something tells me little feet in the hall may come earlier in the morning than you are used to.