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tropicalsmootie

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Posts posted by tropicalsmootie

  1. Thanks! Glad to get in front of an audience willing to listen to our story.

    I know orientation jusssst ended, but has a date been confirmed or considered (that I can tell the audience about) for when the next orientation weekend might be held? If not, no biggie. I can just tell them they should start on paperwork right away, so they could be sitting in San Antonio soon after the first of the year.

    • Upvote 1
  2. Christ United Methodist Church, located at 4488 Poplar Avenue, is hosting the “Hearts For Adoption” series each Wednesday evening at 6:30 p.m. through November 20th. It is a FREE series and the public is invited to come to any and all nights of interest. Although I am not a member of this particular church, I've spoken there before. Nice folks & won't try to guilt you into coming back...very welcoming environment.

    Leslie & I will be sharing our story on Wednesday the 16th...the journey, the process, and probably a few words about an agency we're kind of partial to. ;)

    Among the featured speakers throughout the series are an adoption attorney and a licensed clinical social worker. Discussions will also cover domestic & international adoptions.

    Here's the link to more info: http://www.cumcmemphis.org/adoption

    We've also got details and a flyer on our website as well.

    Events like these help answer some general questions to help you make some informed decisions, but it is by no means a substitute for what you'll learn at Orientation Weekend.

    -Tim

    • Upvote 2
  3. All of us here on the forum are blessed to know a secret that most of the world does not: You don't need to visit a pageant or a modeling/acting website to see beautiful babies. They're already here filling up the Abrazo gallery.

    Whether times are good or are bad, we are always a click away from seeing God's glory through these little angels. Thank you to everyone who shares their photos.

    -Tim

    • Upvote 3
  4. Thanks for sharing this, I have sent this to my family. After our infertility diagnosis, I couldn't understand why my parents were crying and so depressed. It wasn't like they had lost anything. As I began to move past all that we would miss out on, i realized a lot of it included them and perhaps thats why they were so sad. I guess neither of us did a good job of communicating in the beginning. I have found, through trial and error, that open communication with them during the adoption process is best, even if I know they will not understand or will question our decisions. I made the mistake, in December, of trying to protect them from potential pain which totally backfired. Whoops!

    I think in somes ways adoption (on the adoptive family side) is harder on extended family. They are disconnected from everything and all they know is what information we tell them; my parents don't have a face to put with Ellen and Sergio. It would be easy enough to show them a picture, but in a way I want to protect them and I want to protect E&S. We are now to a point where they can share their fears of open adoption with me, which clearly stem from the little they heard about adoption growing up. I try to enlighten them on some proper adoption language and what we hope for in a future relationship with E&S. We now operate with the understanding that we may not say everything just right, but what we do say comes from a place of love not hate. It is deffinitely a learning process, in EVERY relationship. I have messed up and probably will again, but I can learn from these articles & this forum!

    Thank you!

    Leslie

    • Upvote 1
  5. I think Melissa said it better than I can. I can't imagine the difficulty BP's face in essentialy trusting complete strangers with their most precious child. As an AP, not being selected by a BP would feel like rejection, however, we would completely understand. They have to do what they feel is right and not rush into something that are not completely on board with. This is one of the biggest decisions of their life and we would expect nothing less. From the beginning Tim and I wanted it to be the right match and not match with the first BP that was interested in us just because we want to be parents. When you are new to adoption, you dont really understand what that means. Yes, we clicked with our first match, however we never had any difficult or intense conversations. Some things about the situation seemed to point to it being the right match for us, so we moved forward. Things fell through at time of placement and in hind-sight, I can see some things that I may have missed. We should have had those difficult conversations. As difficult as it was and as much as I worry about that baby, I wouldn't change a thing. It was clearly God's plan for us to learn from and grow stronger. We know He had a different plan for us. A plan that was already in the works, we just didn't know it. With our current match, Ellen was a friend of ours before we knew she may be a birthparent. We clicked from the beginning and had so much in common. Since our relationship was rooted in pre-match friendship, I think we both felt a real connection and have a deeper level of trust and friendship already established. We always felt at ease maintaining our friendship, because we had thought that because we lived at a distance, we didn't fit her criteria as a prospective adoptive couple. We often talk about how we both feel God is watching over this friendship. I don't like using the term birthparent when talking to my friends, because thats not what she is to me. She is Ellen, my dessert twin, who loves the Seahawks (unfortunately), works hard for her family and is working toward becoming a teacher. I look forward to texting with her every day and I love our weekend conversations, even if they keep me up past my bedtime. We are open and honest about everything. We talk to each other like we have been friends for years. I am glad that our match is longer, so we can grow our trust with her and show her that we WILL live up to the things we discuss. I imagine at some point we will have a bump in the road, but since we do have open communication, we will get through it. Wether or not she choses to place, she is my friend and I will support her. Even though we only spoke to Ellen pre-match, we have since had the opportunity to speak with Sergio and establish a relationship. We look forward to meeting him and seeing Ellen soon! Leslie

    • Upvote 4
  6. I'm not 100% sure if it is required. I saw it mentioned on this page: http://abrazo.org/want-to-adopt/adoptive-parent-homework/ .

    Just not sure if there's some required paperwork to turn in upon its completion.

    I probably should've prefaced that we are trying our best to get as much checked off of our list before next month's orientation. This might be a question for me to send to the home office or simply wait until orientation to find out.

    Thanks for the insight!

  7. Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July. Tim and I are trying to complete everything for our Home Study before orientation, which is just around the corner. We have to get physicals and were provided with a form, but wanted to make sure there were not different or specific requirements for the state of Texas. Any guidance is appreciated.

    Leslie

  8. Thanks for all the encouragement. Journaling is a great idea. Both Tim and I started our own "journals" when we sent in our inquiry. He does videos and I started wirting to our children, so they would know how much they are loved even before we knew how we would become a family. We are from the Memphis area, Collierville to be exact. It is great that there is such a large adoptive community here, I am sure we will get involved as soon as we can. Right now we are focused on the home study and our profile!! This forum is a wealth of information and support and we love it! I guess I should get back to work now:)

  9. Well, today was an exceptionally wonderful day. Tim and I got the call we were hoping for! We were invited to orientation in August and are booking our flight from Memphis now! This is such an exciting time and we feel so blessed. Now we will work to finish everything up with our home study before orientation! On a side note, the yellow turned out beautifully.

    • Upvote 1
  10. Stepped away from the books this afternoon to look at interior paint samples at Lowe's.

    Where have I been? Am I the last to know that the world has several dozen shades of yellow? If we didn't have to be elsewhere, I think we could've taken 20 or 30 minutes splitting hairs between light sun kissed yellow & medium-light sun kissed yellow. Maybe my vision is lacking, but they looked the same to me.

    We appreciate everyone taking time to offer encouragement & reading suggestions! We are REALLY hoping that we will be busy with required reading before we can tackle anything else from our list. :D

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