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Sara

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Posts posted by Sara

  1. Employer Adoption Benefits

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    good for you for writing this letter...

    and definitely talk to your employer. i was very vocal about expressing my displeasure at the lack of paid family leave for ALL parents right before the birth of our second (jayden). we previously had a system whereby all employees were entitled to fmla (sixteen weeks of leave guaranteed, though it would be unpaid if the employee didn't have vacation time). mothers who had given birth were entitled to use some sick and disability leave, which wasn't an option for me (or for any father). personally, i think this is perfectly reasonable -- i didn't, after all, need to recover from delivery or a c-section.

    i don't think i can necessarily take the credit for it, but my employer did switch over to a family leave policy, whereby all new parents were entitled to four weeks of paid leave. i think the plan was in the works for awhile, but my situation just put it to the top of everyone's mind. (any additional time off had to be "paid" for with vacation time, or taken unpaid). so, definitely have a frank conversation with hr... you never know :)

  8. Employer Adoption Benefits

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    This isn't just about adoption. Right now, people have no paid leave to care for sick children, elderly parents, etc. We are, of course, almost the only country in the developed world that makes people choose between putting groceries on the table and caring for their sick children. Rhode Island, California and New Jersey have all passed caregiver leave laws that now require employers to pay for leave to care for a sick family member, or to bond with a newborn. This would apply to adoptive parents and to all fathers. So if you don't live in one of those states, this is a policy to advocate for.

    Couldn't agree more. I don't actually believe that employers should provide separate adoption leave, BUT I do believe that they should offer comprehensive family leave programs so that people don't need to choose between their new babies, sick family members, elderly parents and their jobs / mortgages / financial stability.

    And family leave should be made available (and used by) women AND men:

    http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/01/the-daddy-track/355746/

    • Upvote 1

  9. Employer Adoption Benefits

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I work for a small institution affiliated with a large university --

    When we took placement of Gavin, they offered no family leave... only unpaid leave through FMLA. Women who give birth are entitled to use a few weeks of sick leave / short-term disability during their maternity leave, but otherwise all leave was either unpaid or vacation time. While I was on leave with Gavin (I took sixteen weeks -- most was paid, because I saved my vacation time), the institution created a family leave policy. I believe everyone now receives one week at full pay, then up to four weeks of additional time (at a certain percentage of their salary, depending on time with the institution). The family leave can be used to care for children (however they enter one's family), a sick relative, an agin parent, etc.

    I don't know anyone who has received a significant amount of paid time off -- i.e., not disability pay, sick time, vacation time.

    I was also able to get a small "grant" to cover adoption costs from my employer. But I really had to dig around to discover that this benefit existed... it was offered through the university, and the benefits staff at my institution weren't even aware it existed (until I told them about it). So dig around a bit...

  15. How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by Sara

    hi katie and matt! welcome to the abrazo community!

    i was struck by your original post, as andrew and i were in a very similar situation two years ago. we completed a homestudy and began working with a local agency (in the washington, d.c., area) in october 2009... we ended up matching with an expectant couple in december 2010 (which was, believe it or not, a short wait for this particular agency), then took placement of their daughter in february 2011. unfortunately, that particular placement wasn't destined to end in a successful adoption, as the parents revoked their consent for adoption later in the month (something they were legally entitled to do in the state of maryland). when we were prepared to start the process again, in june 2011, we weren't certain that we wanted to sign on with a second agency. we had been very impressed by how our local agency treated their expectant / birth parents... and we wanted to be absolutely certain that any agency that we worked with would be as committed to providing counseling and other support services to expectant / birth parents. like you, however, we ended up submitting our inquiry and application to abrazo...

    we attended orientation in august 2011, we were matched with an expectant mother in october 2011, and we took placement of gavin in january 2012. exactly one year and ten days later, we took placement of his brother, jayden.

    over the past two years, we have become members of the extensive abrazo community... formed through orientation weekends, the online forum, regional get-toethers, and the annual camp abrazo. as others have said elsewhere on the forum, it has been enormously helpful to reach out to others who understand the roller coaster of adoption first-hand. but, as important as this community has been for me and andrew, it has been even more important for our sons' birthparents, and particularly their birthmother. she attends weekly birthparent support group meetings, as well as special events, such as camp abrazo, the annual thanksgiving dinner, and a birthmother homecoming event. she truly considers the women of abrazo to be her family... their support and friendship have been enormously important to her over the past couple of years. i *know* that the women of abrazo will always be there for her... at any time of the day, any day of the year... today, tomorrow, and twenty years from now. that is, more than anything else, the reason that i would recommend abrazo to any prospective adoptive parent..

    fingers crossed that you can attend the upcoming orientation!

    sara

    • Upvote 4
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