Jump to content

Birthmommy

Members
  • Posts

    638
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Birthmommy

  1. Their mother already signed away all her rights as their mother. My husband has sole custody of all three children. Is this good enough or do I have to get MORE paperwork? Thanks for the help. -Angel
  2. Does anyone know how to go about starting to adopt older children (ie: step kids). Do I still need to go through an agency? Or is it a totally different realm? Thanks -Angel
  3. Well first of all I wish you the best on your third journey. As you may or may not know, I am the oldest of three adoptees. I was 6 when we adopted Eric (my brother) and I remember it was VERY exciting. My sister is 4 years younger than me, and I still remember that my Uncle Al, tought me how to draw sailboats the day she came home. My parents let me be VERY involved in my siblings adoption. I even went to the courthouse with them for finalization. Which was very cool for me, and I still have very fond memories of adoption. :-) -Angel
  4. Sorry to bring up an old topic, but it is one that brought something that happened to me while I was pregnant with the triplets to mind. I was in the hospital, on Dec 28th on of my friends (who had been in the hospital with me for 9 weeks) had her baby, (I got to be there! anyway, her baby had to go to the NICU, I went down there (in a while chair mind you), and I was looking at her baby. One of the nurses kicked me out, (she didn't know that Tyson and I were good friends, she thought I was just there because). After I left, That same nurse said to another nurse, "she (referring to me) doesn't care what happens to her babies, she doesn't even love them enough to keep them. Tyson immediately came back and told me what she had said, this totally infuriated me. I WAS CHOOSING ADOPTION BECAUSE I DO LOVE MY KIDS!! DUH!!! but obviously not everyone see's it that way. Grrrrrr.......... -Angel thanks for letting me vent too
  5. Well, it's been six weeks since Fiona was born, and I am still no closer to telling my parents. And it's coming down to the wire, that I need to tell them before they find out. I have also realized another fear that I have. I am afraid my Dad will "write me off" so to speak. and if does, he won't allow my mom and I to talk either. Could he do this? I know he could. Will he? that is what I am scared about. This is my father and I love him VERY much! But I do think that because he has my sister, "his ideal child" and my brother "the boy", that he doesn't really need or want me in his life. My Mom does need and want me in her life. So, if my Dad does sever the ties, it will be with both him and my mom. This is totally the opposite of what I want. I just want my parents to realize that I HAVE grown up, that I AM doing better, and the I AM living mylife the way I should be, not the way I was. And it is all BECAUSE of this beautiful baby girl. What to do.... -Angel
  6. I as a BP also believe honesty is the best policy. My AP's were all very forthcoming about the "blotches" in their past. But you know I am not on to judge on the past, we all have these "problems" of the past (at least most of us do) I think even my perfect little sister has done something she isn't proud of in the past. So yes TELL THEM!! Be honest. God has a plan. and the right baby will find your friends. God Bless and Prayers, Angel
  7. Birthmother letters should come from the heart. Tell your feeling. But let me tell you, that most of the BP's I have talked to tell me they know the AP's for their baby the moment they see their picture. I laugh at Kevin & Jennifer's (Fiona's AP's) BP letter, because it is really Ironic. There is a picture of Kevin feeding Sierra (my oldest triplet! They made this before they met me, and they adopted her (Sierra's) baby sister!! -Good Luck! Angel
  8. Thanks Lisa for bringing this subject to the top!! :-) Well, as most of you know I was working with IAC (Independant Adoption Center) when I matched with my triplets AP's after I found out I would be staying in Texas (instead of transfering to Germany) We found out we would need to have a Texas Agency. So we had found one in Austin (I was in Killeen). I met with her a couple times got the relinquishments signed etc. At 20 weeks, I was in the hospital on bedrest, about 23 weeks, that Agency worker Pooped out, and quit the job!! OMG what did we do now. After looking at a couple other perspective agencies (which proved to be a living #### even after we started working with Abrazo). Finally, IAC knew of Abrazo. Elizabeth came to meet me in the hospital the next day!! (and she brought me Taco Bell)!! So we decided to work with Abrazo. Would you know luck would have it, and I would go into preterm labor 5 days later and be transfered to San Antonio for the next 12 weeks?? :-). I knew no one, but the Abrazo gals would visit me at LEAST once a week which was great! and they were such a good support for me!! So this is how I ended up with Abrazo. By fate it seems, but a WONDERFUL Experience. -Angel
  9. Ok, I read a children's book last week to my friend Kayla. I was wondering if anyof you had heard of it or know the title? It is about a Kangaroo with an empty pouch, she prays to God for someone to fill her pouch, then one day a baby blue bird falls into her pouch, and they live happily ever after. I thought this book was so cute at just kinda explaining adoption...in a round about way. -Angel
  10. I have a prayer/thanksgiving. Recently, I have become involved with a birthmother buddy program. I talk to other birthmothers who may not be opening up to the Agency or friends or family. So far I have been a "buddy" to 2 girls. But tonight, my job is getting more difficult, I am supposed to talk to an 18 year old girl, who isn't talking to anybody. So I pray that God can put the right words in my mouth to help her/comfort her (she placed 5 days before I placed Fiona) And I also thank God that I have finally dealt with this in a way so I am ready to reach out and help others. -Angel
  11. Ok Lisa-that tangent you took, well I am going to take it a little further in this post. There is a BF on this forum (I won't mention names) He and I PM eachother. He told me that he has tried to contact his birthchilds AP's they haven't responded to his emails. He thinks the AP's don't want him in their childs life because they aren't responding. I told him to contact Abrazo to make SURE they had gotten his message, (his message was thanking them for taken care of his birthchild). He told me he didn't want to get in the AP's hair. From what I can tell most AP's (especially Abrazo's) would LOVE for the BF to be involved in the adoptee's life. This same BF is afraid to post on the forum because he doesn't want to offend the AP's. What would you guys do? (and if you are the BF I am talking about, I am only trying to help, notice I didn't use any identifying info). -Angel
  12. Lord, tonight I pray that you watch over my children as they grow. Don't let them see pain or hurt like I have. Let them live a full life. Let them know happiness without pain. Let them learn from me so they may not have to learn the hard way. Thank you Lord for my children, and the chance at life they have. Thank you for my life. Thank you for making me a stronger person. Let my children grow in my protective shadow. Please don't let them see the ugly side of life. Lord, I have seen their share. Lord, please protect them as they sleep tonight. As far away as they are from me. Let them feel my love in my absence. Let them see that I love them. That I made the choice I made out of Love. Lord, PLEASE be with my children. -Angel
  13. Ok, just a quick side note. When my adoption case worker (for Fiona's adoption in California) took me out to lunch, she asked me how I would feel if Kevin and Jennifer (Fiona's AP's) never adopted again. Until that point I had never thought of that. It was VERY important to me when I was AP searching for the triplets (I thought I was only having 1 at the time) that they have NO children but wanted to adopt 1 or 2 more. Because I am the oldest of three adopted kids. So I thought about this. And I decided that I wouldn't mind at all if they decide not to adopt any more. Because she will have all the love and attention of an only child, but her brothers and sister will still be in her life and close to her. I told Jennifer and Kevin that. They said that meant alot to them. But as the days go on, and I think about it more and more, I DON't want them to adopt anymore. I want her to have ALL their love. Is that super selfish of me?? Because I still would be happy and support it if they did decide to adopt another. -Angel
  14. Just a quick question (yet again on the behalf of my dear friend) Is adopting a second or third child more difficult that the first? -Angel
  15. My dad IS an extreem case. After I told him that I was pregnant with the triplets, he wouldn't let anyone in my family talk to me, until September 11th. then things changed. But to this day, he won't let me talk about them to him or around him. My mom will ask me questions though. But if my Dad tells her to do or not to do something she does it. -Angel
  16. That is really neat! Thanks for sharing, I am kinda proud of myself, tonight I finished Fiona's Baby Blanket, and tomarrow I will do the triplets' blankets!! It turned out so cute!! i can't wait to send it to them!! I am so glad my adoptions are open!! -Angel
  17. Like I have said, I choose not to let my parents know about Fiona because I felt it was to close to the triplets and they would be so hurt...again. My mom would understand more than my Dad (who honestly may never talk to me again once he finds out) So my reasoning was to not cause my parents anymore pain. So now when do I tell them? i have yet to figure this out. -Angel
  18. I know that this must just rip the AP's hearts out. My parents had 7 adoptions fall through between me and my sister and another 4 between her and my brother. I was almost 7 when we got my brother, so I can remember my Mom crying and she wouldn't tell me why. I found out years later why. But my heart still aches for those who have this happen to them. I hurt for my mom.
  19. Ok...I have a question. My second set of AP's the AF wasn't infertile but he had a genetic disorder that would cause the AM to miscarry whenever she got pregnant. Has anyone ever heard of this? Wouldn't this cause a Stress on both individuals? I know when I struggled with endometriosis in my first marriage my husband had to be a huge support to me when I miscarried. So how does it work, when it's both parties suffering? -Angel
  20. Hello! Here is the deal. My parents know about my triplets I placed last year, they are totally supportive of the adoption (not the pregnancy mind you). My mom still lets me talk about them, but my Dad won't hear any of it. I know they were really hurt by the whole process. With my latest pregnancy I didn't tell them I was even pregnant. Or about the baby. I talk to my mom about 6 times a day. I sometimes just want to blurt it out because I just NEED to tell her, but then my dad won't ever talk to me again (trust me, he is this way, when I found out I was pregnant with the triplets and told them, I didn't hear from them for two weeks, and then the only reason I did was that Sept 11.) I know eventually I will HAVE to tell them. But what is the best way? Do I wait to do it in person? Is this the thing you can tell someone over the phone or through email? What should I do? Thanks, Angel
×
×
  • Create New...