Birthmommy

Thanks all!! And by the way to any of you Birthparents out there!! If you ever need to talk feel free to email me/PM me!! I know sometimes I don't feel like posting on the forum, but I feel like talking!! I'm here for you!! Hugs -Loriahn

Hello!! Andrea !! Welcome to the forum!!! I look forward to reading your journey as well!!! Hugs Angel

I was just curious when you fellow Birthparents out there decided that adoption was the most loving decision you could make for your child? I decided in both cases the day after or the day of when I was pregnant. But I know for some it's later on in the pregnancy. So what finally helped you make up your mind? Do you would have been easier if you would have decided at a different time? Just picking ???"s to learn more about what other Birthmom's go through. As you all may/may not know I'm working on my Masters in Social work and I plan on going into the adoption field someday. I want to work with birthmothers. I know I already know kinda how it feels but since I know we are all different I would love to hear more thought processes in the early stages of adoption.

I agree, when I told my mom.............she was more upset by the fact that she wasn't there for me during one of the roughest times of my life! Wow!

Would this book be good for my mom even though I placed 3/4 years ago???

Guess what??? I finally told my Mom!!! I was really frustrated by my sister the other night and I finally just felt it was right to tell my mom. She took it a whole lot better than I thought, AND now she and my sister want to meet Fiona when I come out to Colorado next time :-)!!!

Well, hmmm.....The entire time I was pregnant with the triplets my mom and I talked every day. Even though my dad didn't want her talking to me about that, and to this day, she'll ask me about them when he isn't around.

I think it would be healthy and give the birth relatives a sense of security with the birthparents decision if they knew the AP's from the start, plus it makes for even a more wonderful extended family :-). -Loriahn

Welcome, Jason and Kristin I'm sure you know by now that I'm former Army, now a stay at home Mom. :-) I'm also and adoptee and a birthmom. I look forward to learning more about you and encouraging you on your adoption journey! Hugs and Prayers! Loriahn

Elizabeth- Do birthparents ever choose 2 families the placement will be determined by the sex of the baby? Just curious, because my brother's birthmother (she was 18) had decided if it was a boy, he would be ours and if he would have been a girl he would go to a different family. Is this even healthy for Open adoptions?? (his is closed) Just Curious- Loriahn

from a birthparent perspective, from the day I found out I was pregnant, adoption was the 1st and ONLY thought on my mind! -Loriahn Great subject though!!

Congrats to all the new parents!! and I hope to see you posting despite your new busy life!! (it helps if you do it when they are awake. I think babies are bored by the forum since they can't read it, Alex always falls asleep when I'm typing. :-) ) God Bless you and your new families. Loriahn

I am between the some and lots. I think very occasional visits (annual or bi annual ) are the best. At least for me. But we email and chat occasionaly. At least thats what's best for me. However, I think it all depends on the situation on what is the best type. Honestly. If I didn't have my life going as well as I do now. If I was into stuff and hanging out with the right crowd, I might be embarrased to let my birthkids see me like that. But like I said, it's all situational. -Loriahn

Hello and welcome to the forum. I am an adoptee of a closed adoption and a birthmother of 3 year old triplets and a two year old girl, both in open adoptions. Although I have never met my birthmother, and had a wonderful adopted life with my Adoptive Parents. I am still a big advocate of Open adoption (except special circumstances) To me it is great, knowing that my birthkids are ok and well loved, both by me and their Adoptive Parents. I see both families about once or twice a year, but we correspond and talk on the phone often. Which is great! Again, welcome to the forum!! -Loriahn

When People ask me how my parents felt about the triplets adoption I tell them, "well they support my decision, even though they are dissappointed that I had to make that choice" just my two cents Loriahn

Ok, about that little boy they had an update on that little boy adopted from India. The family is doing much better, and the little boy is happy and telling his AM that he loves her. And the AM can't believe she ever said that, and that she can't imagine life without them. So at least that story has a happy ending.

I think my Mom felt more comfortable with the fact that the AP's of the triplets were older than me. Probably because my parents were older when they adopted us.

Ok, this has been bugging me the last couple of days, and I just wanted some imput from my favorite forum friends :-) As you all know I'm about to give birth in about 5 weeks. My mom is coming out for the whole ordeal and to help. But I was thinking, is this going to be hard on her watching the whole thing, knowing she never was able to have her own child? I know she loves me and is so happy for Mike and I, but at the sametime, do you think it will be painful at all for her? And if so, what can I do? Thanks Loriahn

I thought the article was good, it is very factual and doesn't seem to present a dark side of adoption. Thanks!

As you all know, I've been there and there again......and my again came 5 months after the first......the first thing I did was contact the AP's of my first child to see if they had friends that were trying to adopt. I wanted first and for most for ALL my children to know eachother and to be friends. Since that is what Open Adoption is about, knowing where you came from right? Yes it is embarrasing a little. And I got quite a few jokes like, "you do know how it happens right?" etc. But I perservered...and I now have 4 beautiful birthchildren who know each other (Sierra talks about Fiona to me) and love each other. Awesome!! Loriahn-

Hello!! Welcome!! My name is Loriahn (Angel) I am a birthmother of 4 (2 year old triplets that I placed though Abrazo) and a 11 month old baby girl. ANd also, I am a step mother to three beautiful kids Michael 11, Tori almost 8 and Libbi 4. I found the forum VERY supportive through my whole adoption experience. :-) So welcome....we are here for you....... hugs, Loriahn

Hi! I just saw that "DH" is in the military. I am an adoptee and birthmom. But I am in the military and going to Iraq on the 16th. Good luck! You'll be in my prayers. Along with DH!! -Angel

Hello! Veronica I just wanted to say RELAX!! Take it easy. I know as a birthparent I didn't pick my family for their house. They were theirselves, and they were my perfect idea of parents for my children. Most birthmothers have an "ideal" family. And I am sure your future birthmother already has you in mind without even knowing you! So be yourself, yes the whole adoption process is nerve wracking at times. But if you can relax you'll make it alot easier on yourself. :-) I know I got all worked up the first time I met my triplets to-be AP's. I was scared they would think I was ugly and not want to adopt my babies anymore. But they didn't. :-) It all works for the best!! IN every situation!! Good Luck! Hugs and Prayers -Loriahn

A quick note from all Mom's of Mom's. During my pregnancy with the triplets. My Mom became, was and still is my closest friend. All though my Mom never experienced pregnancy. She was there beside me. We talked everyday, and still do! We have never been so close. I wouldn't have made it without my Mom! So thanks Mom! and to all other Mom's. Thanks. You mean more than you could imagine. -Angel

Hey SMR Sorry I haven't replied earlier but I've been deployed and just got back. I know how you feel, back in 99 I had a misscarriage and had to have a DNC. And last summer when I was pregnant with Fiona (whom I placed) I misscarried her twin. But give yourself time to grieve they are right. But don't be hard on yourself, it has nothing to do with you! Take care of you and that baby! And keep posting! You are a Strong Brave Woman! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Take Care. -Angel