GrandMimi

Happy Birthday, Mari. I had forgotten you and Bianca share a special day. Hope all your health issues are resolved as you start this wonderful, new, improved year!!

Mari, so glad to hear all the test results so far have come back ok and am praying they continue to be positive and you feel back to normal fast.

I'm praying for you, Mari. I often like to "peek" ahead on my daily devotional and thought of you as I was reading tomorrow's. "I am with you continually, so don't be intimidated by fear. Though it stalks you, it cannot harm you, as long as you cling to My hand. Keep your eyes on Me, enjoying Peace in My Presence." May you feel His hand holding yours as you navigate through the next days. Praying all is ok.

Haha, Susan. I was going to elicit some guesses on that one but no, she wasn't. We were lucky enough to have insurance by then.

When my first daughter was born we didn't have medical insurance. My in-laws gave us a heifer which we later sold to pay the medical bills. I am glad to report that after almost 40 years, our daughter does not appear to be traumatized by being paid for with a heifer. No, she wasn't adopted. But I think some children will embrace all aspects of their adoption story and some won't. I would guess if someone is upset because funds were raised to bring them into the family then they are probably struggling with adoption in general.

Leslie, You may think you are "shielding" your parents but I really believe (at least from my perspective) that most parents don't want to be shielded. I am enormously grateful that Melissa and Steven chose to make me a part of all aspects of their journey, both the good and the sad. Melissa asked me to start reading the forum from the first day she discovered Abrazo. It doesn't take long reading the journeys to truly believe in open adoption. No, it is not the way adoption was addressed when we were growing up, but it is clearly better. I'm not sure I would have grasped that as fast as I did if not for the forum. As you know, they had two matches that failed. Yes, I cried tons of tears for both but was so grateful, again, that the through reading the forum I could see the avatars of those who had experienced similar failed placements and see the precious babies who found their way to them. How do you explain something like this to your parents? Especially while you are grieving? That is why I personally think it would be enormously helpful to allow them to read the forum or copy someone's story and let them read it. The more knowledge we have the better we also understand and process. I will also say that because Melissa and Steven allowed me to meet Bianca early on, she feels very much like part of our family. God forbid that anything should ever happen to M and S, but at least Bianca and I have a great relationship and I would do everything in my power to continue the open adoption! How would I understand the importance of all this, especially early on, if not for the helpful information I've received from all I've read? I'm not sure just hearing it from Melissa's mouth would be enough for me to grasp all that is involved from all sides. As for feeling I lost something because Oliver isn't biological, well I can honestly say that has never crossed my mind but I can see how it might for some. My best advice would be to talk, talk, talk to your parents and make them as much a part of every piece of the journey as possible. Don't shield them from anything. Allow them to grow in knowledge as you have. Help them help you!! And remember, there is nothing like holding your grandchild to erase any pain experienced up to that point

Happy Birthday, Mari. I hope you are having a wonderful day!!

The more the merrier:)

WHAT!!

Dale, What a great common sense reply! You write a book and I'll read it

Hi Sue, I'm excited to see another grandmother in waiting on the forum. I, too, feel so lucky to have this site in which to learn all that I can about open adoption. What a blessing for our children to have such enormous support and understanding from others who have walked this journey before them and are so kind to then become mentors. I can provide lots of love but have never walked my daughter's path. It feels like we suddenly have "GPS" to navigate the trip. I wish you the best on your journey to find you sweet grandchild

And maybe after we conquer North Mississippi we could go for a more corralled group, say...on a cruise ship or island? I'm just thinking of all the many possibilities

I've been told (hope because I just like people and like to talk) that I could have a conversation with a telephone pole. I just bet all these telephone poles never dreamed they would know so much about open adoption. I can't speak for everyone my age but I believe many of us make inappropriate remarks about the adoption process because we hurt for the birthmother and child. But now my eyes have been opened to new possibilities. I haven't spoken to anyone who intentionally said something inappropriate but rather thought (as I did before the forum) that adoptions were closed. Therefore their questions tend to be about the pain. I hope I am able to spread the enthusiasm and hope that an open adoption allows. And you, forum enthusiasts, have given me just the fuel I need for my fire. I've enlightened all our family, friends and telephone poles. Now I'm working on perfect strangers.

I cannot begin to express how excited I feel!!!! When Melissa and Steven got the call that they were accepted into the next oreintation it felt like getting the call that said "hey mom, we're pregnant"!!! (because it's not if, but when God has granted us such a sense of peace with Abrazo. From the time Melissa was a little girl she would tell us that one day she was going to adopt a child. Of course at the time she had no idea that she was infertile but I believe God was working on her heart very early, letting her know He had a plan and He would be there for her every step of the way. To me, adoption is just another way to share all the love we have stored with another precious child. But this forum has been invaluable in allowing us to see the bigger picture. After reading your stories, and especially the ones from the birthmothers and birthgrandmothers, I cannot imagine anything other than an open adoption. I thank you ladies so much for allowing me to read your stories. I've learned so much about you that you feel like dear friends. I rejoice when you get good news and grieve when it's not. So if you see me on here a lot, I'm just reading and learning everything I can before the sweet angel makes its way to us. MIMI

Thank you all for your invitation to join in. I have wanted to post for some time but thought I would be sure Melissa and Steven were chosen for the oreintation first (didn't want to be presumptuous). I sometimes feel like I did as a child when I would ease drop on other people's conversations on my grandparents partyline (guess most of you don't even know what that is). I have learned so very much about open adoption from your incredible posts. I find myself going back to read your previous posts so I can know "the whole story". I have begun praying for many of you and for the birth families. I love to read the encouraging words you have for one another and feel so blessed to know that Melissa and Steven will have such a wonderful support system in place if they are chosen. Thank you all so much for allowing me to learn from you. Mimi