GrandMimi

Happy Birthday, Mari. I had forgotten you and Bianca share a special day. Hope all your health issues are resolved as you start this wonderful, new, improved year!!

Mari, so glad to hear all the test results so far have come back ok and am praying they continue to be positive and you feel back to normal fast.

I'm praying for you, Mari. I often like to "peek" ahead on my daily devotional and thought of you as I was reading tomorrow's. "I am with you continually, so don't be intimidated by fear. Though it stalks you, it cannot harm you, as long as you cling to My hand. Keep your eyes on Me, enjoying Peace in My Presence." May you feel His hand holding yours as you navigate through the next days. Praying all is ok.

Haha, Susan. I was going to elicit some guesses on that one but no, she wasn't. We were lucky enough to have insurance by then.

When my first daughter was born we didn't have medical insurance. My in-laws gave us a heifer which we later sold to pay the medical bills. I am glad to report that after almost 40 years, our daughter does not appear to be traumatized by being paid for with a heifer. No, she wasn't adopted. But I think some children will embrace all aspects of their adoption story and some won't. I would guess if someone is upset because funds were raised to bring them into the family then they are probably struggling with adoption in general.

Leslie, You may think you are "shielding" your parents but I really believe (at least from my perspective) that most parents don't want to be shielded. I am enormously grateful that Melissa and Steven chose to make me a part of all aspects of their journey, both the good and the sad. Melissa asked me to start reading the forum from the first day she discovered Abrazo. It doesn't take long reading the journeys to truly believe in open adoption. No, it is not the way adoption was addressed when we were growing up, but it is clearly better. I'm not sure I would have grasped that as fast as I did if not for the forum. As you know, they had two matches that failed. Yes, I cried tons of tears for both but was so grateful, again, that the through reading the forum I could see the avatars of those who had experienced similar failed placements and see the precious babies who found their way to them. How do you explain something like this to your parents? Especially while you are grieving? That is why I personally think it would be enormously helpful to allow them to read the forum or copy someone's story and let them read it. The more knowledge we have the better we also understand and process. I will also say that because Melissa and Steven allowed me to meet Bianca early on, she feels very much like part of our family. God forbid that anything should ever happen to M and S, but at least Bianca and I have a great relationship and I would do everything in my power to continue the open adoption! How would I understand the importance of all this, especially early on, if not for the helpful information I've received from all I've read? I'm not sure just hearing it from Melissa's mouth would be enough for me to grasp all that is involved from all sides. As for feeling I lost something because Oliver isn't biological, well I can honestly say that has never crossed my mind but I can see how it might for some. My best advice would be to talk, talk, talk to your parents and make them as much a part of every piece of the journey as possible. Don't shield them from anything. Allow them to grow in knowledge as you have. Help them help you!! And remember, there is nothing like holding your grandchild to erase any pain experienced up to that point

Happy Birthday, Mari. I hope you are having a wonderful day!!

The more the merrier:)

WHAT!!