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Steven&Melissa

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Everything posted by Steven&Melissa

  1. Oh, Scott and Jocelyn... we are so happy for you! We are also happy for this birth family because, despite their tremendous grief, they have surely chosen a wonderful family in both of you. Congratulations to big brother Landon as well! Can't wait to see pictures.
  2. Welcome to the forum! Hope you hear something soon. We are attending the Feb orientation, so we hope to meet you there. What part of the country are you from and is this your first time adopting? Glad to see you on the forum before orientation... there is so much information here.
  3. Whoa!!!!! Congratulations! I am shocked and amazed! Welcome, little one!!!!
  4. PROMESA (Special Needs) Program Fee ($7500 total): No change NOTE: healthy African-American infants will no longer be considered "special needs" placements. I was really happy to see this change. Very fair and understandable updates throughout, Abrazochicks (and board). Good job.
  5. Yay!!!!!!! Sooooooo happy to read this! We are celebrating for you here, Rob and Kristy! Welcome, sweet baby Cecilia! May you and your birthmommy always know how loved you are by all!
  6. I just noticed today that the Abrazo Homestudy Guidelines are featured on the home page. It made it really simple for me to provide our social worker with everything she needed to consider. Just FYI to have on this thread!
  7. So very happy for this sweet family. Welcome to the world, baby Ariel... you are so loved already!!
  8. Congratulations to Mark and Fran, and lots of hugs and prayers going to Meagan. Welcome to the world, baby boy!
  9. Indeed. I know you were likely a huge source of strength for this friend and I'm glad you felt God speaking to you through the conversation as well!
  10. Oh, congratulations Andrius and Gaby!!! What a wonderful thing to give thanks for.
  11. READ THE FORUM! Piece by piece, thread by thread. You'll come out feeling like you have an ounce of control in this adoption journey once you're armed with knowledge! This process has a way of leaving you feeling like you can't control a single thing and that can be disorienting for some, so the forum gives you the power to make wise decisions and feel confident in the "moves" you make.
  12. Thanks, Melissa... hoping this is all over soon. Suzi - our CPA told us about the advocacy line and said it was the next step for us after he tried a couple of things. He said that in his experience, however, since we appear to be sooo close to a resolution, the advocacy group would launch an investigation that could likely hold us up for even longer. We are hoping to have some new news early next week and then we'll move on to the advocates. Thanks for the info, though... I'm about a step away from taking this into my own hands.
  13. Our CPA specializes in this! Both times the IRS has come back asking for things, it was something we'd already sent (and had copies of having sent in!) Our poor CPA is ready to bang his head on the wall, I think. I feel like we're always the exception to the rule in some way in our lives, so I can't say I'm surprised when things like this happen. I'm just trying to sit back and smile that maybe God is putting us on hold for a little while longer.
  14. Welcome to our world. This happened last year (and again this year). We got a partial refund and then had to have our accountant provide the additional information needed to give us the rest. The letter we received from the IRS stated that they needed xyz in order to provide us with the rest of our refund. We immediately provided it and then received the rest of the refund within a month or two. We have been strung along since February by the IRS this time around. We just got word yesterday that they are refunding about half of our return (all of the non-adoption-related stuff) and that we're supposed to receive a letter in the mail early next week stating why we weren't approved to get the rest. Our accountant says we are due the return and have everything we need, so no matter what they come back with, we can supply it and hopefully get our money back. We were on the phone with him at 6pm last night trying to sort all this mess out. It's working my last nerve because we need this money to move forward with adoption #2 without tapping into our emergency savings account. I just can't rationalize moving forward with another adoption that would make us tap into those funds. So, we wait. It may mean our plans are pushed back, but hopefully the money will eventually come. Something tells me I'll be getting my 2012 tax reimbursement before these ever come in. We are currently looking into the option of receiving half of our funds (what they say we are due - all non-adoption-tax-credit-related monies) and then appealing for the other half. We just need that non-adoption-related money back to move forward in good conscious. Part of me is afraid they will take that back from us, too, and we could move forward with the next adoption if we could just get half back. We're seeing what would be involved in doing that now, so I'm surprised to hear that part of your reimbursement was already put into your account, Leah. That gives me hope!
  15. Your family really is so beautiful, Mari! I love the photos. Seeing you all with your granddaughter is a wonderful sight. She is obviously loved beyond measure!
  16. Happy birthday, Mari!! Hope it was a wonderful day! Sending lots of love to you on this very special day!
  17. December 7 & 8, then again in early February! They've been spaced out every 2 months or so in recent groups.
  18. Just a weekend in Suite 540 with some chicks and a blue cooler. glad to see you finally get to go to orientation. Long time in the coming. Might be an even longer time coming... we're talking about waiting until the February orientation due to various things... but I'm so glad we'll finally get to go to orientation, too! That's one part of the experience I've missed out on and am glad to be a part of! We'll definitely be seeing our San Antonio friends while we're in town. By waiting until February, it also means we don't have to fly in and out so quickly. We can spend an extra day in TX to enjoy everything and everybody!
  19. I just got asked this today. I told her that openness allows our son to be surrounded by as much love as possible, to never wonder where he came from, to never fantasize over what his birthparent(s) look like, etc. It's a relationship, with highs and lows like any other, that grows from mutual respect and healthy boundaries that keep the focus on the child and his/her longterm best interest. After all, that child's best interest is what brought us together and it should be the glue of what binds us as well. It isn't co-parenting (we get asked that a lot) and it isn't foster parenting. But it is a gift we all give each other, but most of all it means our child never has to doubt how loved he is.
  20. My mom texted me something this morning, saying that she'd read it during her bible study and it reminded her of the feelings I described after we un-matched with J, just days before we got that fateful call from Bianca that led us to her and our son. Peaceful "I know God is speaking to me when, in spite of my initial struggle, an undeniable release and peace follows when I have obeyed His voice. When I finally do the thing He has been nudging me to do, whether it's letting something or someone go, or taking a step toward the unknown, there is a deep calm in my soul. Where my heart and mind were once filled with terrible angst, I am now filled with a supernatural peace." - Kathy Troccoli
  21. Welcome to the world, sweet Riley! You are loved beyond measure by some pretty wonderful people. Congratulations, Erin and Jeff, on the birth of one gorgeous little man. All our love to you, Mandi!
  22. Thanks! Memphis is in this little corner of the state that's a minute from Arkansas if you go one way and a minute from Mississippi if you go another, so it wasn't really a big jump! But it did put us a few doors down from my parents, and Ollie's soaking up the attention, so that's the biggest bonus! I reached out to the Abrazochicks and asked them to provide a referral for another social worker for us. I can't bring myself to use the one who steered us so far in the wrong direction. If it's already a headache, I am imagining the migraine we'd have throughout the rest of this process!
  23. As always, thank goodness for the ladies at Abrazo. Today, I talked to our new social worker. Because we've moved to MS (from TN), we had to change social workers b/c ours wasn't licensed in our new state. She referred us to a colleague. I talked to her and explained our situation, asking what we would need to do in order to meet TX requirements. I wasn't sure, especially since we'd changed states. She told me: FIVE (5) face-to-face visits, one in the home with all family members (including pets) present, then ONE (1) face-to-face visit, in the home (with all family members present, including pets) within THIRTY (30) days of placement (totaling 6 visits). Then, post-placement, we would see her SIX (6) times. This social worker explained to me that it might be easier to just start completely from scratch and complete a "new home study" so that it "reads well." This would cost me nearly $1,500, plus $350 per post-placement update. This seemed a little outrageous to me. I also remembered Elizabeth writing new TX requirements out here on the forum somewhere, but just couldn't locate them. I remember them being positive changes for APs. So, I picked up the phone. I got Elizabeth, who's holding down the fort today. Here is what she told me: THAT'S WRONG! You need ONE (1) face-to-face visit, in your home, with all family members present. This needs to be done within TWELVE (12) months before placement occurs. There is never more than one original home study. We had our original home study completed by the first agency we signed on with. Then our social worker updated it to TX standards by doing an update before we adopted Oliver. Now, despite any changes that have happened, this new social worker will do another update, NOT a brand new home study. Then, post-placement, you need FIVE (5) face-to-face visits. One of those can be with the ladies at Abrazo while you're waiting out your ICPC, meaning you only have 4 to complete once you're home. I emailed the social worker back, cancelled the visit we had scheduled for 10/16, and let her know that I'd appreciate a list of the things she'll need (such as child abuse clearance, state clearances, etc). That way, we could get that stuff checked off the list and nothing would hold us up when the time came. Wow, the differences. Whenever anybody asks me why we use Abrazo, I don't say it's because APs typically wait a shorter period of time for placement. I don't even say it's for the forum or the friendships. I always say that it's because they are ethical, first and foremost, and because they KNOW THEIR STUFF. Thank you, ladies, for knowing your stuff. It keeps proving helpful time and time again! I think I might want to take you up on locating another social worker, Elizabeth.
  24. Great, thanks guys! Digging into the paperwork today. I'd forgotten how fun it is to divulge every personal detail!
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