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RHSegura

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Everything posted by RHSegura

  1. So sad! I shared with our social worker here but she didn't have any childless Hispanic couples she knew of. I hope someone doesn't miss out on a wonderful opportunity and that this mom can find the best family for her baby.
  2. Congratulations!!!! What a beautiful blessing to all who love him!
  3. Congratulations on the arrival of two precious babies!
  4. Congratulations on baby Ryder's arrival!
  5. Very exciting holiday season for so many!
  6. Wow! Exciting! Can't wait to hear more!
  7. Susan, I truly have been meaning to reply! I read on my tablet but it is a pain to type on, and days go by I am not on my desktop! I struggle in finding that balance between focusing too much on the positive or negative side of adoption. After Andrew's placement, I was struggling with that "survivors guilt"so deeply and sort of immersed myself in the anti-adoption world. I almost felt like I was punishing myself or something and it was not a good place to be. But I feel like I did learn a lot and and hopefully a better, more sympathetic person for reading what I did. But I can't stay in that and cheerfully raise my children. My resolve and hope right now is to take each day at a time. Hopefully not with blinders on, but also not with the negative attitude that my kids are going to have tons of adoption problems. They might, but we can cross that bridge when we get there. I don't want to superimpose things that are not there, but also not ignore things that ARE there. I guess we just pray for discernment and will try to be as well prepared as possible. I agree - that if we lived in a perfect world adoption would not be necessary. I am all for making adoption as ethical as possible, but I don't think it can or should totally be done away with! I worry about my oldest because we do not have that open relationship. He has siblings in the birthfamily, and he has his sister in an adoptive family. She is being raised differently and she has the best of absolutely everything... I worry that he will wish he had been adopted by them. (I have expressed this to S's mom, not saying this behind their back!) Then we have such an open relationship with our youngest and he has two siblings there, though much older. I just try to remember that for everything he is missing with them, he does have a brother that he wouldn't have and his birthmom made the choice for him for his best. His sisters have confirmed over and over they are at peace and this was right for him and they are happy for him. But we do the best we can to keep that relationship alive and well until he can make the choices in that relationship. It makes me sad to read how open adoption can be hard, but every relationship in life comes with difficulties and complications! On my best days I trust that God has a purpose and that He will fill my kids hearts with love and appreciation for all they have been given (though obviously at a cost). I hope that I can always provide with them with the tools they need to work through feelings and disappointments. I pray that I never become jealous or possessive to try to keep them from that relationship with ANY of their family.
  8. Carissa, we did not have an exact BOG situation... but we only had a matter days (maybe 4?) to plan. I know our situation was a little different but we had a 16 month old and agonized about what to do! As it turned out, my mom drove with us down to Texas. She was visiting at the time and I begged her to stay! Then we flew her home just a few days after placement. It was great having someone else down there with us. We could leave and be 100% involved in our current situation but still get to squeeze our first child before bed! It was just plain comforting to be there as a family, but know that we had child care covered while visiting at the hospital and getting to focus on M. M really did want to meet and see Luke pre placement so I would have been sad if she hadn't been able to do that. She really wanted to see the child that potentially would be siblings with hers! She only saw him in short moments before placement, and then in a more extended way post placement. Had my mom not been able to come we also had talked about a few older teenage girls. Would not have been ideal, but it could have worked! We were going to ask one to drive down with us and then fly her home right after placement... or just drive her back with us if placement did not occur. Ours was during the summer so we didn't have school to worry about, but that is just an idea. One other consideration... if you do choose to bring Gabriel with you it might help to see what is around the hotel. We didn't have many choices but the one we got was in walking distance of stores and restaurants. My mom could throw Luke in the stroller, grab lunch, etc. and not feel too stir crazy when we were gone with the car. It really seemed to help a lot with her keeping him entertained. Just something to think about if you do have choices!!
  9. So happy that the right match was found for this precious boy. Thinking of his new parents and his birthmother tonight!
  10. Oh, beautiful! So happy you kept the faith and were just where you needed to be for your daughter and her birthmother! Love this news! Your picture is to sweet! Love Caleb checking her out!
  11. Congratulations Steven, Melissa, M and R on the birth of such a beautiful baby girl! It is amazing to see how all of you have come together out of love for your precious angel! Congratulations also to Oliver and all the big, proud siblings!
  12. So very sad for this family, especially just seeing the picture posted. May peace and comfort surround all who knew and loved him.
  13. Definitely hope you are on the road to complete healing, Mari!!! So sweet and funny about your granddaughter!
  14. What a precious announcement and congratulations to both families on joining together for the good of these children. Wow, a new son and daughter! Sounds like a leap of faith for both families and many prayers for a smooth adjustment period.
  15. Congratulations on the arrival of a brand new baby boy! So glad these two families were joined together out of love for one special little man! Blessings to all of you!
  16. Keeping your health in our prayers, Mari! We all know you take such good are of others, hope you'll take good are of yourself too! Prayers the doctors can diagnose and treat you so you'll be back to yourself soon.
  17. Hoping hearts and a home will open for this precious one on the way!
  18. We researched several agencies before coming to Abrazo. One reason we initially came to them was that we met a couple (a neighbor!) that had adopted through them and had good things to say. Just seeing someone with a successful adoption was very helpful to us as we were contemplating what path to take. We liked that Abrazo had an orientation. We not only learned but built friendships and a support system with the other couples. That has been invaluable in my mind. Those friendships (and what we learned about open adoption) is what just motivated us to drive 3,000 plus miles for Camp Abrazo - a yearly reunion (you'll see lots of photos being posted!). I've never heard of another agency that helps couples find common ground with other couples and encourages those friendships. We liked that Abrazo taught us about open adoption and how it could benefit the child. We weren't opposed to the idea, but we didn't know very much about how it could work. Top priority for us was to find an ethical agency that would not use coercive practices with vulnerable, newly delivered mothers. We desperately wanted to be parents, but in our hearts we wanted to do it the right way and according to the law... but also with ethical compassion. We believe we found that with Abrazo. Will some moms choose to parent instead of place? Yes. But you will have confidence that a child that needs you will come to you. Our first time around we attended orientation in February 2010 and were placed with a beautiful baby boy the following month in March. This is UNUSUAL! But it goes to show that once you jump in you just need to be ready! We do not have an open adoption with his birthparents by their choice, but we have a friendship with the family that adopted his full biological sister. Our second time around a sweet boy came to us just before we were set to attend our second orientation. Again, that is pretty unusual but it is just the way it happened. Right now our first son is 3, and our second son will be 2 in July. We have a fully open adoption with his birthmother and her family. They attended camp with us this year. Both adoptions are totally different but we are so grateful for our sons. Hope that helps! Each of our experiences are different, but it is good to see the many different ways things can unfold. It is definitely a roller coaster ride, but well worth it.
  19. I will come back and answer too after we get home from camp (one special event that makes us glad we found Abrazo! )
  20. Congratulations Tim and Leslie on becoming new parents to a beautiful baby girl, and also adding some pretty special first parents to your family!
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