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Jocelyn

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Posts posted by Jocelyn

  6. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by Jocelyn

    Great, thanks guys! Digging into the paperwork today. I'd forgotten how fun it is to divulge every personal detail! :P

    Yes, it's good times! The nice thing was that we referenced our old application a lot to help with some of the details. It was interesting to see how we answered the questions in what I'd call the essay portion of the app...and then to think of how our views had changed after going through the adoption process once. For instance, I vividly remember the question on what contact info we'd share with a birthfamily and the first time we answered it something like "we'd share our email address". I'm sure we were afraid of being bombarded via phone, mail, and a visit on our doorstep by a birthmom looking for her child back in a couple years...um silly us! We had a lot to learn but I can look back at some of those responses and worries and see how we've grown in the 3+ years since we first started looking into adoption. I didn't really enjoy filling out ALL the paperwork again but understood why we needed to and it was kinda fun to reflect on where we were in the past and where we've come to now.

  7. Family Opposition?

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    We were also unsure of what open adoption meant. We have friends that adopted one child from Guatemala and their second child was born in Chicago and they maintain an open adoption. We always thought it was weird that they stayed in contact and that the adoptive mother was in the delivery room. But like most people we just were uneducated about it and were judging without knowing everything. That's why I think orientation is so great to go through because it opens your eyes and the books that Abrazo recommends help do that as well.

    I'm also interested if your mom's views on everything having been adopted herself.

  8. Speaking of "real parents"

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I just read the article as well and think Mari's quote from Bette Davis is very true. I can say that I have a good relationship with my parents now but I remember times when I tested them and said mean things. I'm sure most of us can relate to that. Sometimes as adults I think we forget what it's like to be a kid. Kids go through so many changes both physically and mentally, so we just have to try and handle things with grace and not overreact if they tell us they hate us. Start building a good foundation when they are young and if those days come when they are angry and hurtful then you can tell them you will always love them. Remember that tomorrow is a new day and as long as you love your kids and they know you love them things will be ok (and this applies to all whether your kids are adopted or not).

  17. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    My understanding of the homework is that it should be done throughout your journey up until placement of your child. This way you are learning and talking about adoption topics throughout your "pregnancy", so the homework is not necessarily something that should be done all at once or prior to orientation.

  18. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I believe there was a medical form that we got in the packet they give you at the end of orientation and it had some different tests on there than what our home study agency had us do, so you may want to call and ask Brianna about the requirements.

    Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

  20. Does Culture Confer A Child's Right To Religion?

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    A very sensitive topic. I don't agree, though, with adding a law that would require a match on religion in order to foster or adopt a child. Whatever happened to separation of church and state? (a very grayed line these days for sure!) I do agree that foster and adoptive parents should be aware of the child's background including culture and religion and make sure that the child gets the opportunity to follow/learn about those traditions/practices/religion. Unfortunately, where you live could restrict you on actually attending certain events if they just aren't available. In the small town I grew up in we had about every Christian church possible, but there was no Jewish Temples or Islamic Mosques, so it would have been difficult under this law to keep up with that child attending worship for those religions. Adoptions/foster care is not limited to big cities where almost all different types of religions are present, so to me this law could also alienate people living in small towns.

    I also was thinking if you have to match on religion then what's next? Match on skin color and/or ethnic background to make sure that child is even closer to their heritage? I think the better answer is to try and teach the adoptive and foster parents that it is important for the child to not lose their heritage including their birth family's religion; and encourage them to gets books, movies, or attend services whenever they can so the child can learn from that. I also think a parent should try to explore more than one religion with their kids to matter if they are adopted or not and then let the child decide which route to go when they are old enough to do so.

  21. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Congrats on being accepted to orientation, it's such a great weekend that you will enjoy! A lot of people blog under the Joyous Journeys and Birthparent Blogs sections, so check those out too (if you haven't already). I know it took me a little bit to navigate the forum and get used to it, so another thing you can use is clicking the View New Content in the upper right hand corner and that will help point out the topics where there is more recent postings. There is so much info out here I know I haven't even explored a lot of the other topics, but I like keeping up with the day to day posts using that feature.

  22. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Interesting piece in HuffPost about celebrities adopting black babies...

    http://www.huffingto..._hp_ref=parents

    Your thoughts?

    I agree with the writer of this article that I don't think the celebrities adopting black children are doing it to be trendy. I do think it has a lot to do with where you live, what experiences you have with people outside of your race, etc. Maybe because people idolize celebrities so much it will open their eyes to a need that is out there (referring to the trend where more black children are waiting than other races)?

  24. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    This story was similarly troubling, I think... http://mom.me/fun/18.../3782-82567377/

    How will the Kellys tell Addie "well, yes, we were so delighted to add you to our family, we let you sit with the nanny in coach just so the paparazzi didn't find out we'd adopted again until weeks later?"

    I like Katherine Heigl but after reading this story I'm not sure about that anymore. I understand that celebs have other forces around them (mainly the photographers looking for any way to make a buck) but still, you should be so happy to have another child that you would want to be with them. I would NEVER be able to fly on the same plane as my child and have them sit in a completely different row with someone else (except if the child was with my husband and we didn't have a choice). Good luck even getting that baby out of my hands a lot during the flight.

    I'm always happy to hear about adoptions especially when you know a child is going into a better living situation, but to me it seems like the celebs have an easier time doing this. Maybe my perception is wrong but from other people that I've talked to the international adoptions take quite a lot of time, and yet you hear about celebrities adopting all the time. Maybe they have waited years for that child but I'm not reading about long waits for them, so makes me feel like they don't have to play by the same rules as the rest of us.

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