Jocelyn

Not sure where to post this or if there is another topic but does anyone know of a children's book that talks about trying to prepare the older child for a new sibling? We've talked to Landon about having a baby brother but he will usually say no if we ask if he wants a little brother. I wonder how much he understands at age 2 about a new baby coming (hopefully). Sometimes I feel like he would understand what is going on if I were pregnant because then he could see my belly growing and that things are changing. Obviously I don't have that so how do you prepare them for a new arrival?

Congratulations Nathan & Grace! Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

Congrats and welcome Baby Lucas!

I'm sorry to hear that is happening but as Melissa and Hannah have said glad that you can be there for her. We found out last night that one of Scott's friends is most likely going to have chemo for testicular cancer. Kinda shocked to hear that...he's 39. You just never know what life is going to throw at you, so finding that inner strength is the best way to cope.

Wow Tara, I'm glad that you found Abrazo after that experience! Yes, adoption costs money but that should never ever be a factor into whether you should place or not. Money is money, sometimes you lose some and sometimes you win some (if only any of us would be lucky enough to win the lottery). Regardless of your knowledge of adoption and the practices, I wish all agencies would have the moral code of Abrazo and be truthful with everyone involved in adoption.

Congratulations Andrius & Gaby and welcome Baby Xavier! Very heppy for you and your new family!!

So happy for you Kim & Gip! Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

I agree with this as well. People ask us about our relationship with Landon's birthfamily and the best answer I have is that it feels like family. And by that I mean that I see them as the same way I see my sister or my in-laws or my cousins ans so on. They are just part of the family, it doesn't matter to me that they came into our lives a couple years ago and as a result of adoption. I also think that embracing open adoption does help open my eyes to be more accepting of others and their situations. I still fall into gossip and may make some comments about certain people or things, but I consciously know that this is happening less and less and that I'm trying to put myself in that person's situation before judging them on something. I think adoption had something to do with that...but I also think just raising a child and being forced to focus on someone other than myself has helped tremendously. When I look at Landon and he's being goofy or says something that just makes me smile, it makes me realize that the petty thing I was gossiping about or the irritation with a co-worker over a small issue really isn't that important. I think having a child now has helped me get past some of those things. I still have times when I need to vent or when I'm frustrated but I feel like I worry less about things I can't control and more about things that I can control.

Thank you for protecting your agency and its birthparents!! I agree! People talk to us often about adoption and ask for agency info because they are looking or know someone looking. We always let them know that Abrazo wants couples that want an open adoption and we can now add our personal experiences as an example. Open adoption is a hard concept in the beginning but I think it's just because of the unknown...but you have to be willing to learn more about it and open your minds and hearts to what it means. And people should be truthful with what they really want and find the right fit.

Mari, you are inspirational as always, even in a time that is difficult for you. Hoping these next few days go by fast so you can get through those memories.

Congratulations to all! Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

Great quote Mari! You always have such good quotes that you share...you must have a secret hiding place that you get these from. I haven't always commented after your posts with these quotes but I do read them all and think they are great and glad that you post them!

Coming to the realization that its time to say goodbye to a beloved pet is very hard but a fact of life that you have to go through sometimes. My thoughts are with you. Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

Well said Monica!

Yes, it's good times! The nice thing was that we referenced our old application a lot to help with some of the details. It was interesting to see how we answered the questions in what I'd call the essay portion of the app...and then to think of how our views had changed after going through the adoption process once. For instance, I vividly remember the question on what contact info we'd share with a birthfamily and the first time we answered it something like "we'd share our email address". I'm sure we were afraid of being bombarded via phone, mail, and a visit on our doorstep by a birthmom looking for her child back in a couple years...um silly us! We had a lot to learn but I can look back at some of those responses and worries and see how we've grown in the 3+ years since we first started looking into adoption. I didn't really enjoy filling out ALL the paperwork again but understood why we needed to and it was kinda fun to reflect on where we were in the past and where we've come to now.

We were also unsure of what open adoption meant. We have friends that adopted one child from Guatemala and their second child was born in Chicago and they maintain an open adoption. We always thought it was weird that they stayed in contact and that the adoptive mother was in the delivery room. But like most people we just were uneducated about it and were judging without knowing everything. That's why I think orientation is so great to go through because it opens your eyes and the books that Abrazo recommends help do that as well. I'm also interested if your mom's views on everything having been adopted herself.

I just read the article as well and think Mari's quote from Bette Davis is very true. I can say that I have a good relationship with my parents now but I remember times when I tested them and said mean things. I'm sure most of us can relate to that. Sometimes as adults I think we forget what it's like to be a kid. Kids go through so many changes both physically and mentally, so we just have to try and handle things with grace and not overreact if they tell us they hate us. Start building a good foundation when they are young and if those days come when they are angry and hurtful then you can tell them you will always love them. Remember that tomorrow is a new day and as long as you love your kids and they know you love them things will be ok (and this applies to all whether your kids are adopted or not).

We had to go through everything again for the state of MN (fingerprinting, residence history, etc), even though it was considered an update. So you'll just have to make sure you meet the requirements of both states.

Are you hinting at something Sara? Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

Woo Hoo, congrats!! This reminds me, there was a forum topic that showed when you would get to each new pepper. Anyone know which topic that is?

Thank you for sharing Mandi. I'm glad that you found Abrazo and E&J too. I don't know them personally but via your posts and theirs it seems like you are meant for each other. And the person that will benefit the most is Riley because you all will be family!

Congrats Jayson and Kelli! Welcome to the world Baby Yorick!

Thinking of Lauranda. Have fun in Vegas!

Where are you going on vacation? I agree that balance between work/school/regular routine and relaxing on a vacation is greatly needed! I just wish the American culture was more geared towards that balance than work, work, work.

Congratulations Michael & Sherry and welcome to the world Baby Mirabella!