suziandben

Mari, Thank you for continuing to tell your story. I'm gaining so much from your posts and from the posts that reply to you that help me continue to grow in understanding what my son's first family has gone through. I think you are an amazing mom and grandma (first or otherwise) and hope you have a wonderful mother's day today. Suzi

I'm not an elite so I can't post comments on baby Max's (Noah) pictures in the gallery ... ooooooooo so so so CUTE. Melt my heart cute. Goodness. Welcome welcome it's so nice to see you on the forum.

1 x Grandma... welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing. You are right most often people share the ups of life without sharing the downs. I am always excited to meet people willing to share either way. That to me is a true friend.

We had a prior homestudy before coming to abrazo as well... the line I heard over and over as I tried to relay between abrazo and our social worker was that your original home study is your original home study and everything after that are addendums/updates to it. I would assume that would be true of you as well. that you will get an addendum that covers the 25 points in the texas requirements, with how ever many visits. I think you have to have a current home study to be presented to birthparents/expectant parents for potential match so you would need to get your addendum/update and then have another update/addendum if necesary within 30 days of placement.

What a minute... in some churches women who place children for adoption feel that is a sin? Like the adoption is a sin? (sorry my question not related to catholic corner... way to go st josephs for honoring birthmothers!)

Hurrah!!! What great news!

Wow... I'm so sorry for this loss. God bless this family in this time of tragedy.

I second that!!! We are such a community that I feel like MY prayers have been answered tonight. wait a minute... wait a minute... I just saw his name!!!! I LOVE IT! My first baby, my cat's name is Maximus.

Melinda, Have you talked to the gals at abrazo yet? Next week call and talk to Angela if you haven't already. I don't know what will come of your opportunities with abrazo but i do believe like you that God is in adoption. I could re-tell our journey to collin but the baby is waking up so i need to hurry ... let me just say that we waited 4 years with the same adoption agency you were with, with nothing and we were childless. it always seemed crazy to me that we were getting lapped by families that adopted two and three children from the agency while we watied for one. Basically I saw the same thing you saw. I don't know if it's specific to that agency or our religion that birthmoms are more inclined to seek "families" as opposed to couples. whereas abrazo very rarely works with an lds birthmom and the birthmoms they work with most often ask for childless couples - I know that collin's birthmom wanted a childless couple. i do know that we were always meant to find collin... we had to chart a path we didn't expect to walk but we are surely a "match" as you were with danielle and Talmage. Whether through abrazo or however you find your next child, God will open the way again. i can't promise something i can't deliver... so when i responded to your pm i was upfront about abrazo limiting how many couples already parenting they accept into their program but i sure hope that you will be a part of our abrazo family one way or another. your open relationship with danielle and how upset your husband was about the baby born last year in montana where aps backed out because of complications at birth... you are just the kind of family that abrazo is all about. Let me say it one more time ... i know the abrazo chicks have been very busy this week ... so in case they didn't hear the last one... this is an awesome family. I hope it helps... as a matter of fact, abrazo chicks feel free to call us if we can be a reference for Matt & Melinda. Suzi

I'm basically with Amanda. Who knows what the future holds but for right now... on placement day collin's birthmom specifically stated she did not want her name or her picture on the internet. in honoring that request I have not blogged her name, posted it on this forum, or any other open medium. i did use her name in emails to family and friends. i have not emailed her photo to them. email is just too hard to control the distribution and our family and friends got to the point of reading our adoption updates like the daily enquirer. we got baby gifts from in-laws of in-laws ... because they forwarded our emails of our adoption journey. i did include a picture of her in our christmas letter/birth announcement because it's a lot easier to control the distribution of paper than email and it was a fairly safe way to honor her.... which was really important to us that we did honor her in that announcement. i hold some level of a feeling of sacredness for collin's birthmom. i use her name in conversation here and there but most often it doesn't feel quite right to use her name. the thing that often happens if i bring her up in conversation is that the conversation then becomes about her... "well is she young" ... "did she have other children?" ... random prying questions. i don't think it's appropriate to blab about her life to people who don't know her or care about her - certainly i don't feel it right to blab about her love life and finances or any other circumstances that lead to collin's placement. if I refer to her as collin's birthmom ... i don't get as many questions. as is the case in life, i don't see an issue with each of doing what we feel is right for our children. none of the responses listed above sounded "harmful" to me (i skimmed so if I missed anything horrifying oops) - i'm not a social worker or an expert but i think it's okay that we all show our love and respect for our children's birthfamilies in different ways.

Good idea ... have van will multiply!!! ha ha ha I love it!

That's one trophy Ben and I personally are very happy to let OTHER people win! LOL!!!! It was definitely a part of Ben and I's dating process... that both of us did not want a "big" family.... found out later we had a small difference in how # = big family to each of us but infertility solved that argument. hee hee hee

oh yeah baby! I'm impressed you've found your way around the forum in NO time. I had to have an in-person tutorial to figure out what is what around here. LOL!

YEAH your first post!!!!! Let me just publically welcome our friends matt & melinda from Montana!!! We are so excited to have you join the abrazo forum. I am just so excited to introduce you to everyone here on the forum. Abrazo chicks if you are listening ... this is one awesome family!

We've got tears of joy for you, our dear dear friends, David, Melanie, Joshua and EMMA GRACE. Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A big shout out to Matt & Melinda who just joined the forum... WELCOME WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations Jason & Jen and many prayers for "A". Before checking the forum I turned on my internet radio hearing ... the spirit of god like a firing is burning... surely blessing your new family.

Well of course there are some GREAT families if you go WEST!!!!!!!

Oh it only takes 5 or 6 kids to need a BMW... mom and dad, their 5 or 6 plus 5 or 6 friends. OR responsibility in boy scouts! LOL Ben drove my car today. I NEVER thought that would happen. He HATES vans. He actually loves the comfort of my car. Wow. Now back off that's my Collin-mobile.

WOW... how cool... I'm like a deer in the headlights... say what? Baby... COOL! Congratulations all!

Really? WOW... that acronym is a staple out here. So, how many families in your ward (congregation) have 15 passenger vans? We usually have a few families around us that have one. Maybe you guys are short on BMW's out there.

Do you use the term "BMW" in your part of the country (big Mormon wagon) ... Just call me supermom I moved into the ranks of BMW drivers this weekend!

I love general conference!!! Since I'm a tax accountant come the first weekend in October I'm always working on 10/15 due date tax returns and come the first weekend of April I'm of course working on the 4/15 deadline. So i'm always working on that saturday and listen to general conference as I work on the internet. I just love it and today's sessions were no exception! Course my favorite general conference was April 2008... feeling stressed about whether I should wait to leave my job until we got further in the process with Abrazo or were matched or taking placement... or quit right after april 15th as I had planned and felt prompted to do. One speaker was talking about something unrelated entirely to what was on my mind but he quoted a scripture that included the phrase... "move forwrad not backward". The words he was reading were even put on the screen... it was like Heavenly father had put up a billboard message ... SUZI GRADEN MOVE FORWARD NOT BACKWARD YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS JOB! He was so right. Can't wait til tomorrow's sessions.

i've been waiting for this all evening!!! thank you stork for helping grow our sticky family again. blessings to this family of 4 and precious first mama... once again it pays to be a westcoaster and be up late enough for the announcement.