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Everything posted by suziandben

  1. Hi Matt and Katie, Congrats on getting your application sent in. I remember what a big weight that was to get done! The first time my husband and I did a homestudy it took us about 4 months to get all our questionnaires and paperwork done, it took weeks when we sent in our abrazo application and when we did our application for our 2nd son it took me about 4 hours. lol Anyway my husband I spent 5 years waiting with an agency in Oregon before we came to Abrazo so it was a fairly easy decision for us. We really liked coming to orientation because we were coming from all the way across the
  2. Congrats on taking the plunge! Crossing our fingers for you.
  3. It's amazing how seeing so much more of the story with this placement leaves me struggling to find the right words. My love and prayers go to you Ellen and Sergio. May god guide you and hold you tight as you begin this journey from here. Tim and Leslie ... Welcome to parenthood mom and dad may you never sleep soundly again.
  4. Beautiful! beautiful Ellen! I spent a lot of time singing to Collin as an infant (colic). I was cracking myself up one night - i should brainwash Collin with songs he should sing to me. So I was singing a song from church "mother I love you mother I do. Father in heaven has sent me to you..." Wow totally started bawling at those words I had forgotten. Today I sing this song to my boys all the time I just change the first word "Collin/parker ilove you Collin/parker I do father in heaven has sent me to you." I so agree god is in adoption.
  5. I just noticed your picture of your daughter. Beauty!!!

  6. Blessings have come to those who waited. Congratulations!!!
  7. I think this has been dis proven in a way given that state aid is so generous yet placements still happen especially in subsequent children. Money alone is not all it takes to a raise a child.
  8. It's not a question for me that God was in our failed matches and our son's arrivals in our family. Just 2 days before (talk about coincidence) one of our biggest adoption heart breaks, I was at my sisters house. She pointed out to me that God uses ALL that is in our life for our good. She and her husband had started a business and she had so much faith that even if the business failed - it would still be an experience for their good and that they would learn from the experience. She encouraged me that even if the adoption plan did not result in placement, we were in that match for a reaso
  9. Sending prayers to be with you for calm and peace and healthy results!!!
  10. I'm here rooting you all on!!! Againers are awesome! It is different the second time around. Some things are harder, some are easier but there will be a family that needs YOU just as you are!!! Our 2nd adoption doesn't fit any of the typical scenarios above. They were very young not older, they were first time parents. Yet they needed us ... they'd been through every profile in our agency in WA before we submitted our profile. Someone out there is going to need Monica, Melissa, Carrisa, Beth (I can't remember all the guys names but them too) and all those of you who are againers but di
  11. I so agree with Melissa that God is in adoption. I felt soooooo strongly there was a brother for Collin that he would come in January. He was born Dec 31st so I was off by one day but he came! We too were not open to all races with our first adoption but felt very compelled to be open to all with our second adoption. i was convinced this meant that baby 2 would be AA. In the end our family of 4 is still 100% Caucasian despite those tugs to be "open". My only answer looking back is that we were growing and our hearts were open and that owning that was a good thing for us. My brother in l
  12. Happy birthday Sloan and your message Mari is beautiful!!
  13. The link for this is sending me to the Recovery Room section of the Abrazo forum.... can you update with the correct link?
  14. I wonder if M and N are trying to stall informing grandma and grandpa of the adoption to protect you and baby from the heated confrontation? Like if Grandma and Grandpa don't know until you are gone or out of the hospital then they know baby will not be in the middle of it?
  15. So happy for you Scott Jocelyn and Landon!!!!!
  16. Adoption is certainly a realm of strong emotions. There are going to be few players that don't have a strong emotion of some kind. Some pushing for one outcome, some pulling for another outcome. While not to the extremes that Elizabeth shared there were (and are) strong emotions in our kid's birthfamilies. I don't know if there is a lot we can do to affect extended family members who oppose placement so adamantly. I use the word "a lot" on purpose. I think the thing we can MOST influence is how the expectant/new parent views us and their confidence or lack of confidence in placement. T
  17. Welcome baby Jordyn and huge congratulations to Mark & Adria. Your wait is OVER!!!!!
  18. Thanks Suzi. This makes sense to me. Adoption expenses can be claimed for the credit in the tax year "after" payments were made, unless it's the year of finalization, in which case, all expenses would be allowable towards the credit in the same year. I guess everyone needs to work with their individual tax advisor to determine how it is interpretted. Karen The instructions for Form 8839 say you can take the credit even if the adoption never became final (if the failed attempt was a child that is a US citizen) so I would think no you would not have to pay back the credit. (If the child
  19. Let me clarify this explanation and say that the adoption credit limit is for ONE child so failed adoption attempts while you can get credit for those they don't increase the amount of total credit available for "child 1" whoever child 1 ends up being eventually (in my case collin)... So while in the example of my son collin, we had failed adoption costs that perhaps we could take sooner than some of collin's expenses, we were still limited to the $12k or $13k (whatever the limit was that year) of credit. So if I could dream up a really horrible example... let's say you had expenses relate
  20. Stork, Looks like the Q&A section of the abrazo.org adopting parent section needs an update with the changes listed above. http://abrazo.org/want-to-adopt/adopting-parent-faq/ 37. Does your “special needs” adoption option include bi-racial children or is that only children with physical special needs? Abrazo’s special needs program applies to children of any age of full African-American ancestry, children of any race who are over the age of five, sibling groups of more than three being placed together, and children with noncorrectable disabilities known to the agency at time of placem
  21. Failed or succesful attempts to adopt follow the same rules. Expenses for a failed adoption attempt in late 2012 (therefore no successful finalization until 2013 or later) would apply to the adoption credit for 2013. The sticky thing is when you have last year adoption expenses (for example 2012) but no adoption yet when filing 2013 tax return. (Don't worry I'm not talking about you guys - this is not a forecast!) Actually, my husband and I were almost in that situation. It's been a while since I read up on it but my understanding is that you can take the adoption credit on unsuccessful
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