melissamerritt

Congrats Michelle!!!! I know you and your family are thrilled beyond words!

Well, I just got off the phone with Chris's employers. His company does not fall under FMLA rules because it is a vendor company for Lowe's. Chris is a vendor for three different Lowe's in our area. His area does not have 50 more employees so as I was told they do not have to abide by those rules. The lady I talked to said they could allow Chris to be off two maybe three weeks after that he might not have a job to return to. I asked her about the women that work for the company and she said the same goes for them. She went back to work after two weeks because she wanted to be loyal to her company(her words not mine)!! She also told me it was a good thing that we were adopting in this country not overseas. She went on to tell me that the adoption world was punishing us because of (her words again) dumb laws that are set up! Chris is going to talk to his regional boss about all this. Don't know if it will help but it can't hurt.

Thanks Rhonda and Beth. I feel much better now. I just researched FMLA and there is no way that Chris can lose his job because of an adoption. I have a lot of info that I copied off the website which will come in handy tomorrow when I call his company. I am ready to quote the info right back to them. Chris said he felt sory for them because they don't know what they get to look forward to in the morning ! Thanks again, Melissa

Chris just called his company to ask if they had any employer benefits for adoption. We didn't think they did but it never hurts to ask. He was told he could take the family leave act, but if he was gone too long they could not keep his job! He asked them what they would consider a long time...their response over two weeks! He was informed that he is expected to be at work everyday and they can not help it if it takes longer than two weeks to come home. With Grace Ann we were in Texas for 40 days. I wonder how many of this company's female employees had children and took their full six weeks off without fear of losing their job? I am just so angry right now that I can't see straight.

I think I sent a letter from one of my many doctors at the time to another doctor stating what was found during one of my surgeries.

Welcome to the greatest place on the internet!!! You will find that you are in the comfort of friends around here. Keep us posted on your journey!

Hi Elaine, Just wanted to post a wonderful site stocked full of adoption books. It is where we bought all our books for our homework that Abrazo assign us as parent's-in-waiting. Tapestry Books

What I am in shock about is that the parents admitted to saying those awful things, and yet the child is still living with them. They are abusing that poor little boy. Of course he doesn't smile, I wouldn't either if I was told the things they say to him on a daily basis. And did I hear correctly, he was taken out of his foster home while he was sleeping??? I just can not imagine treating Grace Ann or any child like that! I feel like at times that we spoil Grace Ann way too much because we did have to wait so many years for a child. This little boy needs all the prayers in the world if he is ever going to thrive in the environment that is he now exposed to.

Hi Rosalie, I m so glad you posted! I hve been a part of this forum since May 02 and have found many friends through it. I know your experience will be the same! My husband and I are planning on going through Abrazo again this coming year, so I'll be looking for you at orientation!!!

As I have said before, baby fever has hit our household hard. We are planning on becoming parents' & sister in waiting soon. I am exciting about starting the adoption experience again, but I have that nervous feeling in the bottom of my stomach. One minute I feel like we are so ready to have another child and the next I am scared to death. I know this is all normal. I felt the same way before Grace Ann was born, but I really didn't think that I would have those same feelings a second time around. My biggest fear is we have such a great relationship with Grace Ann's bparents, what will happen if we have the same kind of relationship with our next child's bparents. I know that sounds silly. I hope and pray that we are able to have a very open adoption with our second child's family, but I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize our relationship with Grace Ann's family. I guess I feel protective of them since they were our first. How do those of you with more than one birthfamily do it? How do you continue the old relationship while nurturing a new one? I know that I am just rambling and I know everything will work out the way it is intended, but it is these thought that keep me up at night !!

WOW! Thanks Lisa, I 've never seen a site with so much info!!! I never knew there were so many different grants, loans etc for adoption. It seems adoption may be a reality sooner than we thought. I think we are going to be ready to get back on that rollercoaster right after Christmas.

Grace Ann has several birthsiblings. We talked about them a lot when we are telling Grace Ann her birthstory. We have been doing this from day one, but we have a very open adoption. I can't say how I might go about explaining things if we did not have such a close relationship with our birthfamily. Grace Ann loves her brothers and sisters. When they are around, you can forget us. They rank right up there with Dora in Grace Ann's eyes!! You can also tell the feeling is mutual(maybe not the Dora part!). Her siblings wait on her like she is royalty, which makes it so very hard for us after a visit! I don't know how Grace Ann might feel in the future, hopefully she will be secure in the fact that she was placed and her siblings were not. The teenage years are rough ones, so ask me this questions 10 years from now. (Oh, my just ten more years!!!!)

I totally agree with you Lisa! Please......if someone adopting elsewhere doesn't think Abrazo is the agency for her family (which she has) then move on.

Lisa, I will have to totally agree with you. We came to Abrazo after being on another agency's waiting list just to attend their first meeting for almost a year. Come to find out the agency "lost" our info, but not our money so we got lost in the shuffle. At Abrazo I never felt lost. I felt like the ladies at Abrazo were doing everything in their power to see mine and my husband's number one dream come true. That's why when we are ready for number two, we will be coming back to Abrazo

Ok, I have a dumb question. Now that Grace Ann is getting older we are thinking(maybe??) about adopting again. What is the process to update a homestudy? I always just thought you had to start from the beginning each time.

Hi jandlcorn, Welcome to the forum!! I hope you find Abrazo to be the agency for you. We adopted our daughter from Abrazo two years ago, and had a wonderful experience We did our homestudy two years ago and the best that I remember, we payed about that much. What part of TN are you from? We live in Martin, TN 3 hrs from both Memphis and Nashville. Keep us posted! Melissa

Carmen, Thank you so much for posting your story. You are such a strong lady and I know you have helped others who will read this post. I am so thankful for Abrazo, because they are also there to lend an supportive ear to anyone no matter the circumstance. Enjoy every moment that you spend with your little miracle Warmest Wishes, Melissa

First of all welcome to the greatest place on the internet. Secondly, of course you can still have an open adoption. Our relationship with our birthfamily is very open but we live 15 hours from each other. Unfortunately we live in TN and our birthfamily lives in San Antonio. Because we live so far away from one another, we talk on the phone 2-3 times a week(more if we can get away with it). We also send cards, pictures and videos often. We visited last June with our birthfamily and are planning a trip this Fall. They are plannng a trip for Grace Ann's second b-day. I would love to see them so much more, but with my husband's job and our birthdad's job it is just not possible. I don't think you have to live close to be considered an open adoption. There are so many other ways that you can keep that relationship going strong whether you live 2 miles from each other or 5 million miles from each other. It is just up to the people in the relationship. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress of becoming a family. Warmest Wishes, Melissa

Lisa, I hope and pray that you, Lance and Kayleigh do meet Kayleigh's birthfamily one day soon. I believe it will happen for you guys. Remember as a very wise lady says, "it's not if but when." I think that saying can go for all families adoptive or birth that does not have contact with each other. We are so blessed to have such a great birthfamily. Never in my wildest dreams did I think going into the whole adoption thing that I would come out with not only a child, but also a best friend and new family members Melissa

Just a little something else to add to my post above. After talking with our birthdad today, he told us that his parents really want to meet us. They are the only set of grandparents that we have not meet yet. Well anyway, our birthdad gave us his parent's email and he gave our email to them. Hopefully in the near future we will be able to meet them face-to-face. Isn't open adoption wonderful!!

Both of our parents were able to meet our birthparents. My parents along with us were invited for dinner at our birthparent's house just a few days after Grace Ann was born. That was such a special dinner for all included. I have such sweet pictures of my family and Grace Ann with our birthparents. I am so thankful for open adoption and the bonds that it creates with all members of the family!

Dawn, I am so glad you finally listen to me( )and sent off your paperwork!!! As I have told you before, it won't be long until you are holding your child. Have fun during the rollarcoaster ride called adoption, and if you need any help at all just call me or email me. Warmest Wishes, Melissa

Linda, Please keep all of us posted on your process to becoming a Mom! I love hearing from all the newbies out there. It kinda makes me ready to go through it again, but until I do I can live through your's and others experience. You will become a parent before you know it, enjoy the ride!!! Warmest Wishes, Melissa

It won't be long until you are holding your little one!!!! Like I said before enjoy every moment, because it will happen faster than you think!!!! Continue to keep us posted on your progress. Warmest Wishes, Melissa

I hope the two of you are ready for the ride of your lifes!!! Enjoy every moment,because it all will happen before you know it, with Abrazo it is not if it is when! Please keep us posted on your progress. Warmest Wishes, Melissa Merritt